First thing's first. The Chiefs being on Monday night sucks. Because it means we're denied an Andy Reid locker room GIF until after the blog is published. Sorry. And don't Google "Mike Smith booger". Please. Don't.
How do you know the blog is successful: When it's Monday and people are complaining that you haven't published yet. Just because the matchups are settled doesn't mean my Sunday has opened up! I was busy yelling at Chip to run the ball. He refuses. I wish a reporter would just sack up and ask "Hey Chip. Are you aware that one of the main reasons the last guy lost his job was his unwillingness to run the ball around the goal line?" Or run the ball in general. I've never seen a coach so willingly throw his O-Line under the bus. The backups suck. We get it. But guess what Chip? YOU PICKED THEM! It's your coaches that are supposed to have them prepared. And they're not. Sack up. Don't target Jeremy Maclin 16 times and McCoy 0. The best coaches in the league know how to use their weapons, which is something you should figure out.
But so it goes. There just wasn't a lot of excitement in Week 4. Only 4 games had a margin of victory less than 13 points. Whoever made the schedule just basically said fuck it in week 4. The most exciting thing happened off the field:
Fauria was trying to stop Lil' Rufio from urinating in the house when he misstepped & sprained his ankle at home. pic.twitter.com/djBc9XVjp5
— Detroit Lions (@Lions) September 29, 2014
I don't know what the best part of this is. Is it a dog named Lil' Rufio? Or the fact that these things happen to baseball players on a regular basis. And in case you were wondering, Lil' Rufio is on Instagram: http://instagram.com/lil_rufio
WHY IS MIKE GLENNON'S NECK SO LONG?!?!?!
I also wanted to address the controversial Pylons-Jays trade, which I received a lot of heat for. The EFFL currently does not have a league vote on trades. All of you pay $100 to enter the league, so in my opinion nobody has any desire to purposely make a bad trade. Both teams clearly feel they improved their team with the trade. I'm willing to entertain the idea of voting on trades if the league deems it necessary to help the league. Dosh, this does not involve you voting against every trade simply on principle. If you feel this a rule the league would benefit from implementing, please let me know.
If you had the Bengals and Cardinals as the only undefeated teams remaining through 4 weeks, please let me know, as we're going to Vegas. On the other end of the spectrum, I don't think it would've been tough to predict the Raiders and Jaguars would suck terribly. But one of the biggest surprise clown teams is the New Orleans Saints, which brings us to our Beef of the Week.
Beef of the Week: Sean Payton
What in the world is this guy doing? He's absolutely clueless. For some reason his gameplan mandates rotating 3 running backs. When Mark Ingram went down, he went into full panic mode. Pierre Thomas is losing snaps to Travaris Cadet, who is basically as good as a RB on the street. And Payton's gameplan actually revolves around him! His plays are actually set up to throw the ball to the 3rd RB. He's not utilizing his playmakers nearly enough. Get the ball to Graham. Get it to Cooks. Get it to Kenny Stills. Get it to Pierre. He refuses to adapt to the personnel he has and just tries to run the same shit. The Saints are going to absolutely flounder unless he makes adjustments. And I don't see that happening. It's going to be a long season for the Saints.
While it may not be sad for a majority of people, Tom Brady is done. He's not the QB he was. He wasn't that guy last year, and it's just gotten worse and worse. This is the 4th consecutive year he's dropped in QB rating. Belichick will never bench him, but it's gonna be a rough year. Sorry Cutty, but it's over. "Tom gets no help", say the talking heads. But he has no arm strength left and no touch. Better recognize.
Power Rankings:
14. The Smokin' Jays (0-4) (Last week: 12): A new team at the bottom!! This is the worst team in the league, and things are spiraling downward quickly. I'm not sure what the answer is here. Jamaal Charles is the only guy with upside, so maybe dealing him for a couple of above average pieces is the way to go. But starting the Redskins #3 WR and Owen Daniels on a weekly basis is just asking for trouble. Has a toilet bowl match with TITTY next week. That's about it. This team is on an L10 dating back to last season with no end in sight.
13. Tweeting in the Trenches (1-3) (Last week: 13): Bench and starters combined for 71 points. The only reason this team is out of the basement is because there were good players on a bye. Should still be OK with Staffy, Demaryius, Welker, and Stacy, but the shine has worn off of Gates and Sproles. We'll see, but there are certainly signs of concern. Again, I don't see a lot of upside, but if the big guns don't come through, it could be a problem.
12. Team Toliver (0-4) (Last week: 11): Another team that is on the brink of disaster. You can't expect Tron to put up a measly 3 points every week, but this team needs to hit the waiver wire immediately. The bench put up 0 points, which was my concern all along. Woodhead is lost for the year, and Sean Payton refuses to use Pierre Thomas. Huge, tough matchup with Mike Y next week. 0-5 could be too big a hole to dig out from.
11. Bo$$town Cutter (1-3) (Last week: 14): Finally on the board. Took out a watered down Pylons squad. but even at full strength probably would have gotten the job done. The real issue here is how much more can this team do? Lacy scored, Alshon scored, huge game from Frank Gore, a ridiculous 3 TDs from Larry Donnell, almost 100 yards from James Jones, and still didn't put up a huge total. Stop trying to trade Tavon Austin for real players.
10. Dueling Pylons (2-2) (Last week: 6): No clue where to put this team. Was #2 after week 1, but things have gone downhill ever since. Extreme inconsistency is not a good way to do it, but having the #1 QB, RB and WR on bye all in the same week would hurt anyone. Taking a wait and see on the Pylons, but things can go either way at this point. The Pylons have already played 3 of the bottom 4, so it's not going to get much easier.
9. Pork Chop Express (3-1) (Last week: 9): While this team is still #9 in the rankings, certainly are now much closer to the teams ahead. Andrew Luck is making a play for MVP. He's my favorite at the moment. I'm docking you for having 4 Browns on your roster. I've never seen anything like it. I'm still not big overall on the roster, but it's entirely possible that another team doesn't even reach 3 wins. Arrow continues to point up.
8. Geno 911 (2-2) (Last week: 10): Don't panic being this high. I really wish I had Steve Smith this year. He's likely to murder someone on the field before the end of the season, and a guy playing with that much fire is dangerous. Torrey Smith is terrible and Flacco knows it. He has a legit #1 receiver even though he's 35. I'm glad he's still relevant. Terrance Williams probably had the game of his life. 8 feels about right, and I think you'll hover around the playoff line.
7. Tequila Party Gnomes (3-1) (Last week: 5): Got a win over TITTY with just 85 points. Must be considered fortunate. Growing concern among the ranks, however, as Arian Foster is as unreliable as it gets. Now the Bears are threatening to withhold BMarsh. Getting Gio back will help, and Miles Austin could payoff (expect a trade offer from Pork Chop). Taking a wait and see here, but I wouldn't be surprised to see this team go either way.
6. A Lot O' Tatz (2-2) (Last week: 8): Putting up 111 points without Peyton or Julius has to inspire confidence. I've yet to be impressed with your receivers, but they've also yet to let you down. If they remain consistent, it should pay dividends. But having to roll out Khiry Robinson as your workhorse could be a problem. I think that's the only thing holding your team back from being elevated at this point.
5. DA BEARDS (4-0) (Last week: 7): The only undefeated team remaining. Finally into the top 5. I swear every time I see the Vikings I can hear you yelling "ASIATA FOOL!" Your bench lit it up this week, which is certainly encouraging. I'm still questioning the longevity of this squad, but I have to think you're in a pretty solid spot. I'm very interested to see how long this winning streak will last. I'm aware you beat Mike Y and are still behind him. I'm sorry.
ETA: Dating back to Week 3 of last season, Dosh is now 16-1 in his last 17 games. Very, very impressive.
4. Big Brother's Bitch (2-2) (Last week: 3): For 2-2, the #4 ranking might seem a little surprising. But it's appropriate. Look at what happens when Pierre Garcon has a normal week. Lamar Miller might prove to be one of the best picks in the draft. He's currently 5th in the league in rushing. I do think, however, that you're closer to the teams below you than the teams above. We'll see
3. Team Bartholomew (3-1) (Last week: 1): Again aware that AJ Green was on a bye, and putting up 114 despite that is impressive. But beyond the trio of Murray, Green, and Cobb, where are the points going to come from? The Panthers had a terrible week, and likewise so did Team Bartholomew. The Titans and Patriots offenses are so bad, so relying on them may prove to be a poor decision.
2. Stanky Monkeys (3-1) (Last week: 3): Was very close to reaching the top spot. Jordy is absolutely on fire, Matt Ryan is his normal erratic self, and Forte is as solid as they come. Fred Jackson is going to play forever. And you left Eddie Royal's 27 points on the bench. This is going to be a tough team to beat. Not flashy. Not a lot of young guns. But very, very solid. I expect more big weeks ahead. Your whole team is on a bye week 9. Guess who you play... The King.
1. The King's Crusaders (2-2) (Last week: 2): Despite the record, this is the team to beat right now. Le'Veon Bell has a shot to finish as the top RB. Antonio Brown has a shot to finish as the top WR. You're using all kinds of Steelers and it doesn't matter. It's working. All of this getting absolutely nothing from McCoy. McCoy, Brown, Maclin, Bell and Harvin is worth of the #1 ranking. Should be hilarious when you use Geno Smith against Geno 911 next week.
Week 5 Matchups
It's hard to believe that we're already at Week 5. Wow. Some huge matchups this week.
#1 The King's Crusaders (2-2) v. #8 Geno 911 (2-2)
#2 Stanky Monkeys (3-1) v. #11 Bo$$town Cutter (1-3)
#3 Team Bartholomew (3-1) v. #10 Dueling Pylons (2-2)
#4 Big Brother's Bitch (2-2) v. #12 Team Toliver (0-4)
#5 DA BEARDS (4-0) v. #9 Pork Chop Express (3-1)
#6 A Lot O' Tatz (2-2) v. #7 Tequila Party Gnomes (3-1)
#13 Tweeting in the Trenches (1-3) v. #14 The Smokin' Jays (0-4)
Best of luck to everyone in Week 5.
No comments:
Post a Comment