Familiar Semifinals

We are down to only 4 teams in the race for the 6^th EFFL crown. Somehow yet again the King and Stanky Monkeys are both still alive. They could face each other in the final for the third straight season. Nobody wants that. Let’s see how each team got to where it is today.

Stanky Monkeys 144 – Animals With Eyepatches 77:

What an unfortunate turn of events for Jimish. This was the hottest team to start the season. A loss in the final week saw the Eyepatches lose the overall points lead and lose the tie for the best record. To make matters worse, this beatdown ensured the Eyepatches will leave this season with no money. I wouldn’t have believed that would happen just a couple weeks ago. The Monkeys are peaking at the right time. The Vick/McFadden/Wayne combo looks to be… dare I say it…. Nasty. Team is looking very tough at this point and this game was never really close. Stanky Monkeys have now won 7 out of their last 9 and have put up ridiculous points in 6 straight, with an average of 146 points. I think this is the most dangerous team remaining in the playoffs, and at this point have to label them the favorite. Lou has now reached the semifinals in 4 straight years, and honestly I’m tired of paying out this clown.

Dueling Pylons 105 – Tequila Party Gnomes 98:

Heading into the Sunday night the Pylons seemed to be in some trouble, and at about 10:30 PM it seemed the Pylons season was doomed. Then it happened. A quick out route to DeSean Jackson, a quick turn up field and missed tackle, and it was off to the races. Sprinting 91 yards to the house on what he described as a 60% ankle, the hopes and dreams of the Gnomes took a jarring hit. To make matters worse, the Pylons and Gnomes also squared off in another inferior league. I also had DeSean in that league. The true definition of a double nidge. In all my years of fantasy football, I have never witnessed a man so broken over a single play. I can say that with 100% confidence. The Gnomes had a chance to come back Monday night, but Arian Foster was enough to hold off the Gnomes. Over 2 leagues, Matt was 0-5 against me this year. If you’re still reading the blog and see this, I’m sorry. You’re a true competitor. The Pylons technically are the league’s hottest team winning 7 of 8, but this team needs to step it up in the final 2 weeks big time.

And the games to determine the 2 members that will head to the finals are...

#1 Maybe This Time (9-4) v. #5 Stanky Monkeys (8-5-1):

This marks the first time Lou and Sam have met after Week 12. And when these two teams met back in Week 10 Lou won the game by 102 points. Yes that’s the margin of victory. I’m sure Sam will not have forgotten that. Sam has not won a playoff game in 5 years. That’s also not a misprint either. A banged up Peterson could be a problem for Sam. Just looking at this matchup I really don’t think that Sam’s chances are that great. I could be wrong but Lou’s team just looks too strong at this point. Great trades and great waiver pickups have been the key to fix an awful draft. I’m not gonna lie I see the Monkeys in the finals for a third straight year.

#2 The King’s Crusaders (8-5) v. #3 Dueling Pylons (10-4):

The number of the seeds is obviously not representative of the team records in this matchup. These teams have been virtually identical all season and this is sure to be a very close battle. The Pylons entire roster will be playing at 1 PM so there will only be one chance to continue the season. Likewise with the other matchup, these teams have never met after Week 12 so this weekend should be interesting. The Pylons have also never won more than 10 games in a season and will be looking to reach the championship for the first time ever. If it’s King-Stanky for the third year in a row I don’t know what I’ll do. This league needs some accountability. I know picking myself dooms my chances, but I can’t pick a 3-peat finals. Let’s go Pylons.

Good luck to the 4 teams remaining in your quest for a championship.

Round 1 Awaits

The regular season is finally in the books, and what a finish it was. The last playoff spot literally came down to the final minutes of the final Monday night game, and the season ended in despair for Johnson's Farm. Yet another close Monday night game, and in the end his team fell just 2 points short. Nick finished the season as the low scorer in the league and really did not even deserve to be in. The Farm lost their last 4 games to eliminate himself.

Also lost in week 13 was the strong push by TITTY to get into the playoffs that fell short. Finishing as the high scorer in the regular season, Fusco missed the playoffs and must be distraught. This tends to happen every now and then, but this one has to hurt. The game that really made the difference was the Week 5 Brett Favre Monday night disaster against said Farm. With this win, things would have been different in the EFFL. Enough talk about the losers. Let's get on to the teams that have a shot to take home the EFFL crown.

1. Maybe This Time (9-4): With Jimish losing, Sam locked up the bye and the #1 seed in the league due to tiebreaker over the Pylons. It is an outstanding feat to get the top seed and a bye in this league and congratulations are in order. After Chris acquired MJD from the Gnomes, he told me he was going to be trading him to you for Peterson and Rivers. Remember that if you two meet in the final because he apparently thinks you're his farm team. You will play either Matt, Jimish, or Lou in week 15. Good luck.

2. The King's Crusaders (8-5): Perhaps benefiting from playing in a weaker division got the King this spot, but it is a disaster to see 2 Woody's with a bye. I'm sure Chris has something up his sleeve for the playoffs. Will play the Pylons with a Pylons win, or with a Gnomes win will play the winner of Monkeys-Eyepatches. I hope all of your players get injured this week.

There isn't much to be said for the top 2 teams that hasn't already been mentioned in a previous week. On to the matchups in the first round of the EFFL playoffs.

3. Dueling Pylons (9-4) v. 6. Tequila Party Gnomes (6-7):

24 hours ago this matchup was impossible. The Pylons had lost to the Stone Masons by 1 point to lock up the #4 seed and TPG needed a Monday night miracle to even get into the playoffs. Tom Brady unleashed a furious pounding into the butt of TPG, yet Janky Spanky still had a shot to take down the Farm and send the Gnomes through. A BenJarvus Green-Ellis TD with just minutes remaining was exactly what the Gnome had ordered, and just like that the Farm was out and TPG was in facing the Eyepatches yet again in week 14.

We wake up Tuesday morning and there has been a scoring change. Young Buc, AKA Mike "Big Willie Style" Williams, had been credited with 2 more points on an additional catch and gave the Pylons the win by 1! How could this be? The following is an exact truth that has not been fabricated in any way. On the final drive of the first half, the Bucs were in hurry up mode. A 9 yard completion was initially credited to Sammie Stroughter when Williams actually made the catch. Due to the creamsicle color jerseys, the official scorer thought Williams #19 was actually Stroughter #18. This error was rectified this morning by the NFL and was the difference in playoff seeding. I can only imagine if this cost BG a playoff spot how devastating it would be. Nevertheless, the Pylons at 9-4 have the 3 seed and face a Gnomes team that has overcome adversity to lock up the final spot in the playoffs. This most likely will come down to Monday night as Flacco and Boldin will go against Arian Foster. They always say it's tough to beat a team 3 times in one season, and I think this holds true here. Despite the Pylons seeking revenge for a previous playoff beating, I'm picking the Gnomes in an upset.

4. Animals With Eyepatches (8-5) v. 5. Stanky Monkeys (7-5-1):

This was unexpected. Due to the scoring change the Eyepatches and not the Pylons will face the Monkeys. I had already started talking shit Monday night so we'll have to save that for another week. These two teams had a great battle in week 11 that saw Knowshon Moreno win it for Jimish on Monday night. These teams head into the playoffs in opposite directions. Lou put up a league high 145 last week while Jimish put up a league low 80. That's what happens when 2 of your wide receivers combine for 0 catches. I'd be willing to bet that doesn't happen again. Can anyone slow down the Vick-Reggie Wayne combination? Lou literally needs huge games from each of them to win. If they put up 20 each, the Monkeys probably are heading home. ESPN is currently projecting the Stanky Monkeys for a whopping 180 points! Internet hacks! This is going to be a great game to follow and I'm sure it's going to be close. I think Dwayne Bowe gets very angry after last week's game and totally throws down this week. I'm picking the Eyepatches to move on.


Good luck to the 4 teams playing this week. Colts-Titans Thursday night so things will get started early.