Into the Final Week of the 2023 Season

 

He did. He had to. What a game. Big Balls Jake w the 59 yard torpedo in the rain. What a way to wrap up Week 12.

We've reached the final week of the season, and as promised, I've blogged every week. Where has the season gone? My head has certainly not been in it with the embarrassment that has been the Pylons. This is the worst team I've had. It was not fun.

Let's take a look at where things stand with the playoffs and what each team is looking at.

The 9-3 teams
#1 Pork Chop Express
#2 Team Bartholomew

Pork Chop Express and Team Bartholomew are the only teams that can lock up a bye. Because PCE has won head-to-head, only a Bartholomew win and PCE loss will get him the bye. These will be your top two seeds.

The 7-5 teams
#3 Tree Party
#4 TITTY
#5 Coach Janky Spanky

ESPN is indicating that Tree Party and Janky Spanky have locked up a spot but TITTY hasn't yet. They need to check their math, because that is not correct.

Cutter should be in. There's a scenario where Mike Y outscores Fusco by 200 points and gets in, but that's not realistic. Cutty has beat both TITTY and Janky Spanky, so any win this week locks up the 3 seed.

TITTY is in a similar spot. Should be in unless Lou drops 250 or BG outscores him by 150. Not expecting this team to be out.

Janky Spanky also not 100% in, but about as close as you can get. Needs to avoid Mike Y dropping 300 points this week.

The 6-6 teams
#6 Street Pigeons
#7 Team BG
#8 The Young and the Sweatless
#9 Stanky Monkeys

Pige should be in with a win. Similar to EEB, needs to avoid Mike Y dropping 250+. Can still get in at 6-7 with a loss, a Mike Y loss, and a Stanky Monkeys win or Monkeys/Peppers loss.

BG has a more straightforward path. Win and in as long as Mike Y doesn't drop 300+ points. Lose and out. There is no scenario where a loss can still get BG in.

Young and the Sweatless holding a lot of cards here. But very very far behind in points. Needs to win and needs one of Pige or BG to lose to get in. Out with a loss unless he scores 300 points.

Stanky Monkeys are not in a bad spot. A win and a loss from either Pige or Mike Y get him in. Would need to score 300 points in a losing effort to get in.

The 5-7 teams
#10 Philly Peppers
#11 Dueling Pylons
#12 The King's Crusaders

ESPN is indicating all 3 teams are eliminated, but that is also not true. Peppers is very much alive due to his point total. Needs to win, a BG win, a Pige loss, a Mike Y loss, and that's probably enough. It's been a tough year, but it's not over yet. This is the only scenario which gets him in, but it's certainly doable.

The Pylons are screwed, however. Needs to win, have Peppers lose, BG win, Pige loss, Mike Y loss. Additionally, needs to overcome a 240 point deficit in points to Pige. It's not happening.

King is in a little bit better spot just due to the point total. Needs the same outcome as the Pylons but only needs to make up 140 points on Pige. Still not going to happen, but at least a better chance.

The final 2 teams, Geno 911 and Cash Me Out Wide are, in fact, eliminated.

Good luck to everyone in the final week!

Week 2/3 - 2023

 

It's been quite some time since I've blogged. I've been severely slacking for years, and nothing I can say or do can make up for that. However, Dosh is 0-2 and has only scored 132 points through 2 weeks. And that's funny.

We only have 3 2-0 teams. All 3 were not at the draft. I'm going to have to request this behavior cease, as one of the most important parts of the draft is that everyone is drinking heavily and making bad decisions. You must have at least 6 Surfside in you at all times.

It's been competitive so far. A few teams have looked really good, but it's still very hard to get a read on this season. We've already lost Rodgers, Dobbins, and Chubb for the season. I would not be surprised to see even more injuries. It feels like everyone is already banged up. Could this be attributable to the lack of players playing in preseason? Maybe. But, it's just bad luck.

The most exciting thing, for my money, has been Geno Smiths. 

"I'm talking to America here, excuse me." 😂@GenoSmith3 pic.twitter.com/6DSa4tFvrx

— NFL (@NFL) September 17, 2023

Beef of the Week: QB Play

It's never been worse. These QBs stink. It's about finding out which is less stinky than the rest. Nobody can throw. Nobody can read a defense. People are out here sucking off Brock Purdy like he's the next coming of Montana.

Justin Fields is the worst of the bunch. I have been vocal to most of you about my dislike for the Bears "quarterback". He simply cannot throw. He cannot win. There's nothing redeeming about this loser. He's going to lead the Bears to back-to-back #1 picks. I'm just sad that it took people so long to see it. You had two years of evidence, and now after two more terrible games people are like "I think this guy might be bad". No shit. DJ Moore went from Sam Darnold/Baker Mayfield to this guy and he actually downgraded.

Where are the good QBs? Two of the top 3 2023 picks are injured. The other is already on load management. And they don't want to pay the RBs. SMH.

Power Rankings

I currently have zero clue who anyone has. So deal with these rankings as I see them.

14. Cash Me Out Wide (0-2) - It's week 3 and this guy is starting Chase Claypool and Nick Westbrook-Ikhine.

13. Geno 911 (0-2) - This team is shocking after Josh Allen. What kind of list were you drafting from?

12. Chase Young Sweat (0-2) - For the love, change your team name. Fields, Drake London, Josh Jacobs. Yikes.

11. Team BG (1-1) - JT and Kupp hurt is not good. Hang in there.

10. Dueling Pylons (1-1) - An OK team that will need everyone to play at their best to be competitive.

9. The King's Crusaders (1-1) - An aging team at a lot of positions that I could see hurting. Russell Wilson at QB? See: Beef of the Week

8. Stanky Monkeys (2-0) - Off to a great start, but losing Chubb is a terrible blow. We'll see how this team evolves but having some of those backups + Mahomes will help.

7. Team Bartholomew (2-0) - Similar to Stanky Monkeys, doing well. I'm concerned about the depth here. Some good pieces. Could move up.

6. Street Pigeons (1-1) - Looks good on paper but hasn't really delivered yet. Already crying wolf about Joey Burrow before the matchup w DUPY this week. Not becoming.

5. Tree Party (1-1) - Some guys have overperformed so far, but the Aiyuk/Tyreek 1-2 looks really good. I'm less optimistic here, but I think you'll fight for a playoff spot.

4. Pork Chop Express (1-1) - Feels like there's a top 4 that could be in any order. Placing you here for now because you bitched about Brock Purdy all night and I had no idea you were starting him... and he got you a lot of points.

3. Coach Janky Spanky (1-1) - I think you've got a pretty solid team. If you can rely on Addison and Mostert, it makes your team very well rounded. I like what you've got going.

2. Tweeting in the Trenches (2-0) - If your waiver wire adds are good, this could be a very good team. Good to have TITTY back.

1. Philly Peppers (1-1) - This is what happens when the league comes together and drafts a strong team. The older WRs may not be sexy, but as long as they're healthy, they'll produce.

Week 3 Matchups

Pige v DUPY
King v BG
Bartholomew v Cash Me Out Wide
Tree Party v Stanky Monkeys
Janky Spanky v PCE
Geno 911 v Father West Virginia
TITTY v P.Peppers

Will try to blog more consistently. No promises. Good luck to everyone week 3!