I had hoped the day would not come, but there was Ben Lobitz holding the trophy after his first ever EFFL championship. Yet another new team has won the title, while the Dueling Pylons still have no rings. You can't say the guy didn't deserve it last year. He clearly had the best team all season.
Coming out of the draft this year, things do feel a bit more even. Yes, we had some good keepers, but it wasn't as egregious as last year. EEB and Phil, of course, are probably in the best position, but I think it's going to be a competitive year.
But before we get into the draft itself, there were a number of festivities. We had our first league golf outing where after booking tee times, we had two people immediately back out. Meech came out swinging and broke 100, which was impressive. He barely had any hiccups, except for one hole shanking 3 drives in a row, followed by a Happy Gilmore explosion:
I think we'll be back on the course. We may even decide to do the draft at a course in the future. We'll also be sure to allow enough time. We should have had plenty, but unfortunately Hard Rock decided that 3 PM check-in time was only a suggestion and not a rule.
When we finally were able to check in, Mike Y firmly declared "I'm going to change into my finest slacks!" We knew we were on the right path.
A crew of 9 descended on the Tennessee Avenue Beer Hall. Fusco was out, having contracted COVID for the 7th time. BG also was not cleared after being questionable. Dosh drafted from a strip club, fulfilling one of his lifelong dreams. And Cutter, despite having a baby over a week earlier, really had no excuse not to attend.
The draft started and immediately took an unexpected turn with Phil trying to screw over DUPY and getting stuck with D'Andre Swift in the first round. Classic. Speaking of keepers, Gambino surely thought he could get out of the 2nd round without Lamar being selected, but there was Lobitz, with Mahomes on the board, selecting Lamar right before the 2/3 turn. Instead of getting Lamar at pick 56, Nick was forced to keep him at #29. That one move could have altered Geno 911's season, and a new rivalry was born. This was after Ben complained as usual about Jaylen Waddle getting selected. Irony.
It was Round 4 this year. And it was more immediate than most years. Typically Lou will wait a few picks, maybe a round before regretting a previous pick. He picked Dallas Goedert and IMMEDIATELY regretted it. "Why did I take Goedert?!?!? Was that a bad pick??" I will say - I don't think this was your worst move. Not keeping Elijah Moore and then taking Allen Lazard instead was a shocking move. I'm sure he'll break his leg since I'm thrilled I snagged him.
Phil and Gambino chummed it up over watches "AYYY LOOKADIS" as Phil tried to lick his wounds. He did make it through the night, which was commendable. Nick also “didn’t remember” puking all over the Crow’s Nest in one of the most legendary EFFL performances ever. Scroll through the blog. It’s in the annals. A tamer Gambino did not mean a better draft. Take note.
The draft took almost 4 hours this year, almost entirely due to Chris Fusco refusing to pick on time. Was he at a restaurant? We don't know, but you better get your ass to the draft next year.
Eventually the liquor came out, and as the we reached our limit, Mike Y resumed his annual role as bouncer. "LAST CALL FELLAS!!! LAST CALL", effectively cutting off the entire party in one fell swoop. Also kept his 6 year streak alive of creeping out the server. Well done, sir.
And a special shoutout to EEB. He manned the draft board like a G. Eventually, he grew tired of this work and took his frustrations out on a good buddy. He had a very tough time selecting BG's keeper DeVonta Smith. He had a much easier time selecting BG"s favorite Buckeye Garrett Wilson right in his grill. He walked outside, called BG, and asked him to signoff on ruining his own draft. What a guy.
From there, we hit the tables. Many, many beers later, I took a phenomenal beating. But we had a great time taking over an entire table. Based on the attitude of the dealers and the check-in process, I'll not be looking to return to the Hard Rock any time soon. I will say - had Dosh been present, I venture to guess the night would have gone differently. It was a great time, as always. Thank you all for coming out, and I can't wait to do it again next year.
On to the Power Rankings! I'm going to use ESPN's power rankings.. I did not do this. Free agency is also now open.
14. Geno 911 - Drafting at the ends is tough. You start with the best player and need to not mess up from there. Adam Thielen in round 2 was an immediate mistake. Clyde Edwards-Helaire at the next turn another. Brandon Aiyuk was good value. Ronald Jones was not. I think you showed up with a 2021 draft list. I'm concerned about this team, of course.
13. Street Pigeons - This feels very harsh. I like the team. Got good value in most rounds. Went double Titans WRs, which was humorous. The big question mark is at QB. If Trey Lance is good, you're going to definitely be good. If he's not, could be in trouble. I like what this team did at the draft.
12. Stanky Monkeys - I know Lou cannot be happy seeing this. It wasn't Goedert. It was more Lazard, Jeudy, and Allen Robinson. Those are your top 3 WR. Tyler Boyd was the only other WR drafted. I'm concerned that this could go very bad for you. You might have enough to overcome it, and if those guys do stay healthy, I think you'll be in the mix.
11. The King's Crusaders - I'll go ahead and say it. The King has not been at his usual dominant level over the last few years. Najee and heavy WR could end up really paying off if Kirk Cousins has another good season. Kirk is an EFFL winner. I think this ranking is a bit harsh, but I think Gabe Davis was a reach. McLaurin also plays with the worst QB in the league.
10. Cash Me Out Wide - Not bad for a strip club draft. Zeke and Josh Jacobs at the 3/4 turn was brutal, in my opinion. And Chase Claypool stinks. I think Cole Kmet at that spot was a great pick. We'll see. I see some potential here, but I could also see things going off the rails. Lot of risky players.
9. Dueling Pylons - Another crock. Kittle in the 4th round could be huge. The risk here with this team is injury. AJ Brown, Chubb, Kittle, Elijah Mitchell, and Rashaad Penny have all had health concerns. If this team is healthy, there's no way it's not a playoff team. But the health is the big question.
8. Tree Party CuttyBill$ - Trying to go back to back in this league drafting with a newborn. I think you did a pretty good job. The urge to draft old guys always creeps in, but you held off well here. Pitts could be a monster. Him, Deebo, and Dalvin is gonna be a very, very tough trio. DK could be a steal too. I like it.
7. Team BG- Conner felt like a reach to me, but he's a workhorse on a top offense. I think your starters are pretty solid. Depth always seems to be a question with this team, so if the injury bug bites again, you could be in trouble. But in terms of starter quality, I think you've done well here.
6. Tweeting in the Trenches - You should at least be this high considering you took twice as long as anyone else to select these players. Getting Kyler in the 7th round - I don't understand how that happens, but can't be upset about that. Your team is going to be annoying, but good.
5. Team Bartholomew - The league did well for you. Kept Russ late. Loaded up on Cowboys. Definitely going to be in the mix all season.
4. Philly Peppers - I don't see it. I think this team has serious bust potential. 3 RBs in the first 5 rounds and I don't think any of them are a sure thing. Obviously got to keep Chase, but Russell Gage is WR3. I'm not optimistic about this team, but maybe that's why I've never won.
3. The Old Ball Sack - Absolutely blew his top over Chase Edmonds. I do like your RBs. Mixon, Dobbins, Etienne, and Pierce is solid. Rodgers and Kelce is going to be incredibly annoying. I think this team is overrated. It feels like a team that could be good but is ultimately destined to fall short. We'll see.
2. Coach Janky Spanky - When you get to keep Cooper Kupp and Josh Allen in rounds 2 and 3, you're going to be highly ranked. From there, it got interesting. Took a suspended DeAndre Hopkins in the 5th round. Singletary felt early. Ripped off BG with Garrett Wilson. I'm frankly concerned.
1. Pork Chop Express - Of course the champ gets ranked #1. I think this team started off great. CMC, Mahomes, Andrews, Waddle, St. Brown is a great top 5. Probably the best in the league. Could easily have the #1 QB, RB, and TE. After that, I think it went off the rails a bit. Kadarius in the 6th was a major reach. Rhamondre could be nice. Then went with 6 rookies. I definitely think this team will be good. Is it the favorite? I don't know.
Well, that was a doozy! Appreciate everyone joining the Google Doc and attending in person. As I mentioned, the schedule will be released in the near future. Looking forward to getting the season going and getting absolutely hammered on Sundays!
