Despite challenging conditions, the 2021 EFFL Draft must be deemed a success. With EEB pulling out for the first time ever and Fusco going on the COVID-IL, things appeared in jeopardy. But the league banded together, as always, to ensure the draft was indeed a memorable one.
The day started off with drafter Ben Lobitz becoming a father of 3 and ultimately persevering to draft from an unknown location. We've had some near misses in the past, but this was the first and second draft day births. Congratulations!
The lottery unfolded at Burgerology Manhattan. Mike Y was immediately demanding sangritas with multiple shots of tequila. The server was highly confused. Mike Y was not served any tequila. Cutty and Phil went hard for espresso martinis. And before you even ask, the answer is yes. I was startled and awoken at 6:25 AM with heaving sounds coming from the bathroom. No chants of "WHY ME?" but you could hear with each heave the utter disappointment.
Dosh just beats to his own drum. He didn't order just one drink, but two. An Ommegang Witte and a Burgerology Lager. These beers would ultimately be dumped into the same glass and consumed in a mixture. In addition, his "summer fit" is apparently all he's worn this summer. Shockingly, he was in the exact same clothes and hat at the draft as his lottery image. A friendly reminder that social media will be used against you in a future lottery.
On a personal commish note, I've fully given up on the manila envelope lottery. Those things are far too unwieldy. The Amazon envelope cards for $3 worked perfectly. True to his name, Philly Peppers drew the habanero yet again. Luckily for him, we did not actually have any habaneros in person. Tatz and I found a bodega and the biggest jalapenos I've ever seen in my entire life. I joined Phil and Gambino, who was in pepper debt, with the ceremonial peppering to get things going since it was absent last year. Those things were incredibly hot. We'll be back to habs next year.
I also did not expect to be on mules, but they were delicious and going down real nice. Post-draft devolved into what you'd typically expect from this group.
Beef of the Week: John Harbaugh
Could there be anyone else? It may seem early to have beef, but it's never too early. These coaches NEVER learn. Don't play your starters in the preseason. Just don't. Has anyone in their life heard a coach during the regular season say any of the following:
- I credit our success to our guys getting more work in the preseason
- We've been poor because our players didn't play enough in the preseason
Not once have you ever heard that. And you will never hear that because it doesn't make any sense. Coaches don't even use the real playbook in the preseason. But no, you put your starters out there in a violent game where guys always get hurt. JK Dobbins had his knee destroyed for absolutely no reason. There was nothing to be gained and everything to lose by having starters play in the preseason.
I don't want to hear the 'It's a violent game! It could happen in practice in non-contact!' argument. We know this. That doesn't mean it's a smart decision to put an important player in a dangerous situation. And of course it happened again to TPG. First Andrew Luck, now Dobbins. Didn't even make it an hour after drafting Dobbins before he was done for the season. Sad!
League Notes
There are a few items I wanted to mention so everyone is aware.
First, there are 18 roster spots. I did not realize this and I cannot reduce this number. Because we drafted 16 rounds, each team currently has 2 open spots that can be filled. Yay!
The first run of waivers will process Tuesday. It is the inverse of the draft order. Remember that after a waiver claim you will go to the bottom. I look forward to Mike Y at 3:30 AM every week trying to not burn his waiver spot.
Last, I have changed the schedule. Week 1 is a "champions" week. Teams that met in the EFFL final in the past will face off. If you have not reached a final, you are automatically awarded a loss. Week 14 is also a 2nd meeting between teams. Heated rivals will face off in the final week of the regular season.
Power Rankings
For the initial power rankings, I will defer to FantasyPros rankings. These rankings don't mean anything. They have a list that people use to draft and then rank people based on the same rankings. This is a circular reference. Following the start of the season, I'll rank based on my clearly superior opinion.
14. Tequila Party Gnomes - As you'll see, you let the wrong person draft for you. Immediately losing a 3rd round pick is not good, but I think this team will be fine.
13. Dueling Pylons - Only 4 receivers on the roster and 2 are rookies. Not good. Just like TPG, the Pylons will be fine. Moves will be made.
12. Geno 911 - A familiar location for Gambino. Clearly flustered with jalapeno heat, Nick exchanged his draft list for a 2019 draft list. Then spited the Pylons, despite the generous offer to also eat a pepper, by taking Lamar Jackson. This is going to be weird.
11. Cash Me Out Wide - Classic Dosh. Taking back to back QBs at the 4/5 turn was a stroke of genius. Basically gave himself the JK Dobbins treatment. He'll be trying to hawk those QBs to the rest of the league all year.
10. Philly Peppers - 3 of the 5 worst ranked are pepper eaters. Also flustered in the first round and immediately questioned his TE/TE strategy. Waited way too long on QB and WR. I think this team could be in some trouble.
9. Tree Party CuttyBill$ - Huge fan of the new team name and the decision to wear a Tree Party jersey to the draft. Most violent team of all time. If this team can stay out of jail, it actually could be decent. But not Joe Mixon. He stinks.
8. Team BG - Reached on DeVonta Smith a bit, but overall pretty solid. Picking up Gus Edwards could be big. I could not see the death stare when Tatz stole Justin Fields, but I have to assume a hole would've been burned in him had you been in the same room.
7. Street Pigeons - I said it during the draft.. I thought you did very well. Gaskin was also probably a bit of a reach, but that's OK. Great value on the keepers as well. I don't expect this team to be in the cellar all year like in 2020.
6. The King's Crusaders - Loves the Cowboys. I didn't know this. I know exactly how this is going to go down. Woody is gonna score a ton of points and you're going to wonder how. Also did well in the late rounds. Will be a contender.
5. The Old Ball Sack - Asked how many players Fusco had kept at least 5 times. This team is solid across the board but doesn't stand out in any areas. This is a ranking I do not agree with. I think this team should be further down.
4. Pork Chop Express - Had a massive head start with keepers. Loves backup RBs. It'll be interesting to see what this team does. Incredibly unbalanced right now, but 3 stud WRs is definitely a good thing.
3. Stanky Monkeys - Also a very interesting ranking. I said during the draft I thought this was your best effort to date. Still big question marks at QB and TE. There's definitely enough ammo here to be strong.
2. Ouch! My Hamstringy! - Josh Allen in the 6th round was an absolute steal. That should never have happened. Going triple RB was a little bold. The last time we saw that was TPG in 2020 and we know how that turned out. Again, probably a bit high for me, but this team should be good.
1. Tweeting in the Trenches - Drafted from a restaurant. I feel partially responsible here because I let Ekeler slip to the 3rd. Tannehill at QB is nothing special, but the rest of the team is pretty solid. Probably among the best drafts.
With the draft in the books, we shift to the regular season. The first game is Thursday, September 9th when the Bucs play the Cowboys. Looking forward to the season and thanks again to everyone who came out. It was great to see everyone again!
