Well, here we are after week 2. The Gnomes have looked totally dominant thus far in dismantling two rival teams. And for the first time in any fantasy season I can recall, the lowest scoring team in the league is 2-0. Naturally this would be Sam. Despite being only 5-13 in the breakdown, luck has been on the side of Kiss Da Baby this year after surrendering only 168 points through two weeks. Neither division made any sort of statement in the week 2 interdivisional matchups. Both divisions now have combined records of 5-5 and have both shown tremendous balance throughout.
I have received requests to produce this blog more quickly. While I may do nothing at work, producing a 2,000 word essay every week does take some time. I plan on getting this out sooner and hopefully can settle in on a Tuesday release date. I have also received more requests, specifically from Nick, to have some league trash talk going on the message board. Although it may be difficult to respond to his posts claiming 6 TDs for Laveraneus Coles, the message board is always good to keep league members involved and furious over ridiculous banter and insults. Let’s get it going. On to the Week 2 Recap:
Kiss Da Baby 103 – Animals With Eyepatches 98:
This was a brutal one to watch. Going into Sunday night Baby needed only 15 points from Jason Witten and Brandon Jacobs to take this one. But being as Sam has drafted the same terrible players 4 years in a row, nothing can ever be certain. The combo ended up putting together a 19 point total and Kiss Da Baby somehow moved to 2-0. Another outstanding performance from Drew Brees went to waste, and the Eyepatches missed a golden opportunity to even their record at 1-1. What was important in this game also was that Sam is now 2-0 against out of division opponents, and these wins could pay dividends when the time to decide wild card berths is upon us.
The King’s Crusaders 111 – The Jackson Five 67:
Wow what a reversal of fortune. The point total from J5 was the lowest in the EFFL since the King put up 67 in Week 10 of 2007. Determined to set the league straight, BG turned in a Herculean effort in getting stomped by almost 50 points, showing why this team was picked last in the preseason poll. This team could get nothing going at all and really had no shot. Even a 0 point effort from Greg Jennings couldn’t help as the Titans D responded with a -4 of their own. Playing Sam could be just what this team needs. The King meanwhile has looked steady en route to a 2-0 start, but there are rumblings inside the GM’s office that changes could be in store.
*** Update ***
Early Thursday morning, word was released that the King has shipped Darren McFadden, Antonio Gates, and Mike Bell to TITTY for Steve Slaton and Kellen Winslow. After having a miserable draft, the King has now been able to acquire two of his 3 man crushes in Slaton and Anquan Boldin. The only piece missing is Andre Johnson…
Johnson’s Farm 175 – Stanky Monkeys 130:
If I told you that the Farm had 2 players in the Titans-Texans game and they would combine for 90 points, you would’ve called me a liar. Despite this outstanding performance the Farm still were unable to top Stanky Monkeys league record of 182 points scored against the King back in 2006. Lou still must be feeling confident in his team, however, after this shellacking. He had double digit performances across the board and is #2 in the league in scoring. He also could be shook as back in 06 he had the 2nd highest point total yet missed the playoffs in what will go down as one of the all time greatest moments in EFFL history. The famous nasty squad missing the playoffs. Slated to be one of the poorer games of the week, this one turned out to be quite the thriller and Nick scored 100 more points than I expected. Maybe changing the team name helped. Maybe Gambino just has a special bond with a lot of Johnson. Too early to tell. Well done.
Tequila Party Gnomes 155 – Tweeting In The Trenches 125:
Most of the pundits who have a nose for the EFFL competition knew this would come down to Monday night. All day Sunday I was receiving texts “I should have Fusco beat” and things of the like. A poor late game showing from Derrick Mason and a huge game from recently cut Nate Kaeding had the Gnomes shook. To make matters worse, the Sunday night game saw Fusco’s MB3 and Giants defense combine for 33 points. What was once thought to be a sure victory turned into despair Monday afternoon at Salad Works. Down 24 points with only Peyton Manning and Dallas Clark remaining, Matthew expressed his concerns at failing to go 2-0 in a game that would be a huge turning point in the season. Consequently, Fusco also felt that he had already lost this game. There’s a whole lot of negativity in the EFFL.
What unfolded was unlike anything I have ever witnessed in fantasy football. On the first play from scrimmage Peyton Manning found an uncovered Dallas Clark over the middle. Rumbling past 2nd base in Dolphins stadium, a safety attempted to make a tackle on Clark, but to no avail. Clark broke free into right field and into the end zone for a 23 point play for the Gnomes! From what I could gather after the subsequent screaming phone call, the Atallian household sounded like the following during the play. “Find Dallas, he’s open! Find him! DALLAS!!! Break free!!! He’s loose!!!! HE’S LOOSE!!!!!!! DALLAS!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” The Fusco household sounded a little bit different. I’d imagine something like “No! No Clark! Fuck! FUCK!!!! COME AHHHHHN!!! DAMNIT!!!!” The EFFL is not kind to expansion teams. Matt’s only statement was “I just didn’t wanna be the first one to lose to an expansion team”. A classic game and definitely one that will be remembered amongst the greats in EFFL history.
Dueling Pylons 120 – Coach Janky Spanky 100:
“What if I lose?... What if I lose to Cro?” were the words of concern before this week 2 showdown in the game of the week. Concern turned to tears and nail biting following this: http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-cant-miss-plays/09000d5d812c5415/WK-2-Can-t-Miss-Play-Gore-goes-off . EEB’s worst nightmare became reality when Frank Gore ripped off an 80 yard TD run on the first play of the 2nd half. It was the first time since Barry Sanders in 1997 and the only other time in league history that a Running Back had two 79+ yard TD runs in the same game. After the game, Coach Just Got Spanked was left in shambles and trying to console himself. Frank Gore beat me, he said. But the fact remains; the Pylons put 5 Rams in their starting lineup and still won the game. And the Redskins should have also lost to the Rams. The Pylons are a cocky team, but rarely are guarantees thrown out. I guaranteed victory and that is exactly what happened. Welcome to the EFFL EEB. These owners are relentless and the competition is always at a high level.
Week 3 could be a turning point in the 2009 season for many teams. All 3 0-2 teams face teams that are 1-1. Records can be evened, or teams can fall 2 games behind their opponents. Both expansion teams must be very concerned with how they have been treated upon entering the league. They were drawn 9th and 10th in the EFFL lottery and now both find themselves 0-2. Here is how the 3rd week of 2009 is shaping up.
Kiss Da Baby (2-0) vs. The Jackson Five (1-1):
Incredible matchup here. These are the two lowest scoring teams in the league, yet again one of these teams will win this week. Both teams have had disappointing performances except from their QBs, yet have fared pretty well. I think this week will prove to be better for both teams, but each still has a long way to go. There is not much room for error now with 4 teams missing the playoffs, and these are the games you need to win if you want to have a shot at the end. Both teams will definitely be watching Monday night as Romo and Optimus Prime battle Jason Witten. Sam’s team always seems to have big showings including the 94 point victory during last season’s Brett Favre 6 TD explosion. I thought Brandon was done fantasy football for life after that game. I think Kiss Da Baby improves to 3-0 here. Sam has not won 3 straight since the end of the 2006 season. Unheard of futility in this day and age.
Dueling Pylons (1-1) vs. Animals With Eyepatches (0-2):
Historically the Eyepatches have not fared well against the Pylons, averaging only 86 points per game in their 8 meetings. Finally in week 11 last year, the Eyepatches snapped a 5 game losing streak and got a key victory en route to returning to the playoffs. So far neither team has looked all that strong, but look for that to change this week. The Pylons enter this game on an emotional high and are feeling confident about turning things around. The Eyepatches meanwhile have some question marks outside of Drew Brees and Megatron. The Pylons have both Felix Jones and Steve Smith Monday night, but this is a classic trap game, however, and I think the Eyepatches make a statement this week and pull the upset. Also Jimish your league fees are requested ASAP.
Stanky Monkeys (1-1) vs. Tweeting In The Trenches (0-2):
Both of these teams put up 125+ points in Week 2, yet both teams found themselves on the losing end. Naturally neither team should be that concerned with their lineups, but again one of these teams is going to lose this week. Conceivably, Lou could be the highest scoring team in the league after week 3, yet still be 1-2. After just shipping away first round pick Steve Slaton, Fusco is hitting the panic button a little after only 2 weeks. It was believed that TITT had the best starters following the draft, but it was also noted that the team had little depth. Well the starters have faltered and there is not much to fall back on. I think the Stanky Monkeys come out firing in this one and move back towards the top of the league. Nobody wants to be the first to lose to Fusco.
Johnson’s Farm (1-1) vs. Coach Janky Spanky (0-2):
An injured LT has certainly hurt Janky Spanky. Thankfully Fred Jackson has been able to step in and produce but this team has loads of question marks. Jackson returns to a backup role after week 3, Ray Rice is losing TDs to McGahee, LT is injured, and Bradshaw, Hightower and Thomas Jones are all garbage. When I ripped your team at the draft, I was serious. Outside of selecting former Pylon Vincent Jackson in the expansion draft, Brady is looking like the only good pick in the entire draft. Johnson’s Farm meanwhile is white hot. Chris Johnson and Andre Johnson exploded in week 2, and also on the roster are EEB favorites RoBro, Lee Evans, and Chris Cooley. If I know EEB, he’s shitting his pants right now. Nick has been bragging for about a week now to me about how good his team is and frankly I’m sick of it. I don’t foresee him shutting his yap after this week though. This is the ultimate clown matchup, and I think Johnson’s Farm also will not lose to an expansion team.
***** Game of the Week *****
Tequila Party Gnomes (2-0) vs. The King’s Crusaders (2-0):
Look what we have here. It’s week 3 and already there is a huge showdown in the Odds Division. I know that Matt is licking his chops at the thought of this game. He has lost 5 straight games to the King. He has been eliminated the past two seasons from the playoffs by the King. And here we are in week 3 of 2009. TPG leads the league in points scored, and this is a battle for the division lead. Naturally, Chris has already thrown in the white flag as is standard for King-Gnomes matchups. This year it was on Tuesday when the concession came. But since Tuesday, the King has been on the phone nonstop looking to strike a deal. Thursday morning it came to fruition as Steve Slaton was acquired in a 5 player deal with TITTY. Finally the team can match the facebook picture of eating ribs in a WVU hat and Slaton Texans jersey.
Over the King’s 5 game winning streak against the Gnomes, he has averaged a whopping 140 points scored. But many of these games have come later in the season, when the King seems to come to life more. In games before week 7, the Gnomes are 2-1 and outscoring the King on average 121-111. Both teams will be glued to the TV Sunday night as Peyton Manning, Dallas Clark, and Neil Rackers square off against Reggie Wayne and Anquan Boldin. Both teams have Green Bay receivers. Both teams have Saints. This will be a heated battle. I like what I’ve seen from TPG thus far and I’m taking them to win this and move to 3-0. It’s always a feeling of pride to defeat a Woody, a feat no team has accomplished yet this year.
Well that wraps up another week of the EFFL. It’s been fun so far this year and every week is a huge battle. If you have yet to pay your league fees please do so ASAP. One of these Sundays hopefully we can get a good portion of the league together to watch the games. Good luck in week 3.
