Sunday, November 15, 2009

Let's Get To Dancin


With 9 weeks in the books, and only 4 remaining on the schedule, it’s about time for everyone (or at least 6 of us) to start making plans for the postseason. Week 10 marks the first week of Thursday night games which is sure to add some intensity and unnecessary stress. I’d like to remind you all of a few rules with the Thursday games. All Thursday players lock their status at gametime. If you have a guy in your lineup he stays and likewise for the bench. You still may add or drop other players before the Sunday 1 pm Drop/Add deadline, but after 1 pm you must wait until waivers the following week. Also the trade deadline is before the start of games in Week 12, so we are down to about 2 weeks before trades are done until the offseason. Here’s what went down in Week 9.

Kiss Da Baby 101 – The King’s Crusaders 83:

Wow. This game was a total shock to me. This was the King’s lowest regular season effort since Week 10 2007 against Jimish (lost 76-67). Obviously it would be against Sam. She has now played one of the bottom three scoring teams for the week in 6 out of 9 weeks. This disgusts me. TPG’s opponents have scored almost 300 more points against him in 9 weeks. A comparison was done and if TPG had Sam’s schedule he would be 8-1. If Sam had his she would be 2-7. Her team is a middle of the pack squad at best but has been very lucky so far. She plays some angry owners in the last 4 weeks with things to prove. Ironically, Sam is 6-0 against past EFFL owners and 0-3 against the expansion teams. The King meanwhile totally fell off a cliff. His strategy of trading for underachievers (and he has Reg!) actually bit him in the ass in week 9. Fortunes can change quickly in the EFFL and the King is only 2 games ahead of 7th place.

The Jackson Five 134 – Animals With Eyepatches 123:

The Five have been an up and down squad all season. Only once has the team scored between 93 and 126. This was a good week and got the win they desperately needed. Big days from the Five’s big guns contributed to this victory. The Eyepatches are now falling apart at the seams, as injuries to key players have prevented a promising season. This was actually the most points scored by the Five since week 12 2007 so this has to be encouraging. Ummm….. yea.

Johnson’s Farm 145 – Tequila Party Gnomes 110:

Week 9 marked another week where the defense of the Gnomes was nowhere to be found. Every single week this team is challenged by opponents and still boasts an impressive 6-3 record. Come playoff time this will be a battle tested team that knows what it takes to win. The Farm have now won 4 of 5 despite being only the 6th highest scoring team over that span. Again these types of things happen when you never play higher than the 5th highest scoring team for the week over that span. At least Nick finally put up more than 116, a feat not accomplished since Week 2. This team has the potential and could be putting it all together. The next couple weeks will be an indication of where this team stands heading into the playoffs. I will say this though: I feel this could be a very dangerous team, especially if they get the bye. This team is easily capable of putting two big weeks in a row together. But for now, the Farm is an inconsistent lucky team.

Coach Janky Spanky 145 – Tweeting In The Trenches 106:

Yet another mediocre week for Fusco. This week his opponent showed up and naturally this was a loss. TITTY has been in the bottom 3 in points scored basically all year. This team still has won 5 of 7 despite being the 2nd lowest scoring team in the past 7 weeks. I think this team has more problems than answers, and TITTY is definitely in danger of missing the playoffs. Janky Spanky meanwhile got this very important win and now these teams stand level in the standings. EEB looks to have a pretty dangerous squad right about now. The Brady-Welker combo continues to produce and surprise Ray Rice has held this team together. This game was never really in question.

Stanky Monkeys 165 – Dueling Pylons 125:

I will say this. Thankfully I didn’t have to worry about Hines Ward Monday night bending me over as he always does. 1 catch for 3 yards? Nah he’s obviously throwing up 25 against the Pylons. This had to have been the most infuriating Sunday ever. At 4 pm the Pylons trailed 84-0. 10 minutes later DeAngelo Williams had 13 points. 10 minutes later he scored a 2nd time. Despite all of this, the Pylons made a furious comeback and found themselves down only 17 points going into Sunday night. Then Donovan McNabb shit himself. I said at about 1:30 PM that it would take 150 points to win this game. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Lou extended his winning streak over me to 7 games. I haven’t beaten him since Rams drinking game in 06. Again the Pylons faced the high score of the week, and again it was a massacre. Over the past 5 weeks opponents have scored 721 points on the Pylons (144.2 per week). This is the most against any team in any 5 week stretch in EFFL history by a wide margin. Frankly I’m getting my ass handed to me and it is not fun. I’m sure this brings great joy to the rest of the league though.


**** Week 10 Preview ****

The Jackson Five (3-5) vs. Tweeting In The Trenches (5-3):

This is a huge game. This is pretty much a must win for the Five to stay in the playoff hunt. Even larger is that the Five won the first matchup between these two so with a win would hold the season tiebreaker over TITTY. Before this past week only 3 points scored separated these teams. I think Fusco has leaned back a little bit on that panic button. Making two trades this past week to me indicates concern heading into the home stretch. Randy Moss and Ben Watson Sunday night may need to save the Five’s season. I think they do it and J5 makes the wild card race a lot more interesting.

Kiss Da Baby (6-3) vs. Stanky Monkeys (4-5):

These teams met just 3 weeks ago, and similar to the rest of the season, Sam’s opponent refused to put up points. This week at 1 pm both teams will be intently watching Bengals-Steelers and Jaguars-Jets. I’d rather watch a blank screen than either of those games. Thankfully Lions-Vikings will be on FOX. Naturally also coming off a 165 point effort Stanky will have a down week and fail to break 120. I’m actually pulling for the Baby here as a Stanky win would really hurt the Pylons miniscule chances. Word on the street is that Ochocinco is sending some mustard to the Steelers defense mocking famed ketchup company Heinz. Sam would be wise to send the same to Lou. Baby puts up 104 and wins this one…

Coach Janky Spanky (5-4) vs. Animals With Eyepatches (2-7):

When they first met back in week 6, Janky Spanky scored a league record 196 points on Jimish. I feel your pain. There’s no defense in fantasy. This time around Jimish is heavily invested in Lions-Vikings and I support this strategy. I think Kevin Smith comes out of nowhere and has a monster game against EEB. I also think that Brandon Marshall blows up against the Redskins in EEB’s face. For some reason I really like the Eyepatches this week. Brees against the Rams. This just sets up nicely for an upset. But EEB simply cannot allow this. Against a 2-7 team in the thick of the playoff hunt, these are games you must win if you want to make a statement. Janky Spanky has been too good recently and I think they win a close one.

Dueling Pylons (2-7) vs. Tequila Party Gnomes (6-3):

The lowest scoring team against the highest scoring team. The worst record against the best record. And yet each team knows that it again will probably take 150 points to win a game. These teams have split their 7 meetings 3-3-1 and from this point forward may play out the season in an equally even manner. But it is what has transpired earlier in the season that makes this game so big. TPG can put an end to the Pylons 2009 season with a victory. For the first time ever, the Pylons are actually facing playoff elimination during the regular season. I’m not sure if the Gnomes are ready for that kind of pressure as weekly trash talk seems to have TPG shook. This one may even come down to Monday night as newly acquired Joe Flacco goes against Derrick Mason. Sad that two Ravens are even in starting lineups. I expect a high scoring game and I’m picking the Pylons to pull the “upset” here.

***** Game of the Week *****

Johnson’s Farm (6-3) vs. The King’s Crusaders (6-3):

The last meeting between these two teams came down to the wire. A missed field goal by Nate Kaeding on Monday night with a minute left sealed the King’s fate and the Farm had a 1 point victory. Chris to this day claims he has no idea what the score was, but Woody not knowing something about fantasy is less likely than me joining the US men’s sprinting team. I think he wants revenge but after scoring 83 points and having the Texans and Giants on a bye, it may be tough this week. 3 of these teams 7 games have been decided by 7 points or less and I fully expect another close game. All of a sudden the King’s squad looks mortal, and a loss to the Farm here could send this team on a downward spiral, making the league ecstatic. I actually like the Farm here to keep rolling and pull out the victory.


That’s all for this week. Look out for the teams fighting for their playoff lives. It’s gonna be a good one.

No comments: