10 weeks down, 3 to go. This is the time of the season where every single game is meaningful. Both the Pylons and Eyepatches could not end their losing streaks and as a result the only thing ended is their respective seasons. These two will be fighting it out for last place this season. Week 11 is the 2nd of our Odds-Evens showdowns as every team has an out of division matchup. These games are huge in the wild card race, and each game marks the one and only time you will play this opponent this season. Also, the trade deadline is the start of games on Thanksgiving, so if you’d like to make a last minute deal, it must be sent to the commissioner by then. Ignore ESPN’s dumb reminder at the top.
I’m also not sure how many of you click the links at the top right of the blog page but I set up a Google group: http://groups.google.com/group/efflblog. The EFFL rulebook and history (updated each week) are on there. You all have access via your email addresses.
Tequila Party Gnomes 110 – Dueling Pylons 80:
What a boring and uneventful game. Neither team could get much going in the way of offense, but for the first time TPG actually played an opponent who didn’t put up a massive point total. Putting up 80 pretty much sums up the Pylons season as coaching decisions and poor drafting finally sealed their fate. An encouraging effort from Frank Gore Thursday night was all the Pylons got in the way of productivity. Recently traded Steven Jackson put up 32 points and the Pylons bench exploded. I want a new team. TPG meanwhile got an important win against a dismal team and really has started to solidify himself atop the EFFL ranks. There were no headstands this Sunday as the Gnomes never were really in danger of losing this one. Peterson vs. Lions was bound to be a disaster and sure enough All Day tore apart that pathetic team. Perhaps when these teams meet again next season it will be a more competitive and meaningful matchup. The Pylons would like to wish TPG well in all future endeavors.
Stanky Monkeys 91 – Kiss Da Baby 83:
If there were smiley faces in Microsoft Word, the vomit/sick one would have been used about 14 times to describe this game. This was a just another slap in the Pylons face by Kiss Da Baby. Week 8 King scored 152 on the Pylons, Week 9 King scored 83 on Sam. Week 9 Lou scored 165 on the Pylons, Week 10 scored 91 on Sam. Absolutely disgusting. To have 990 points scored on you in 10 weeks and only be 6-4 is an embarrassment. Sam truly has one of the worst teams in the league, and very well may miss the playoffs. I predicted Baby would put up 104 and win, but obviously I gave that team way too much credit. Lou meanwhile did nothing of note in this game but managed to get enough points to win, which is really all that matters. Now at 5-5 and occupying the 6th seed, Stanky’s fortunes may be reversing. Since week 2, Stanky has not scored between 106 and 164 points. This is astounding and unprecedented. This team has the potential to be very dangerous come playoff time, and I know the league would much rather see Lou out than in.
The Jackson Five 139 – Tweeting In The Trenches 128:
This turned out to be the best game of the week. The Jackson Five’s use of Venus and Serena’s older brothers Roy and Ricky led this team to a huge win. A Randy “NASTY” Moss explosion didn’t hurt either. A Nate Burleson 0 had to have Fusco in shambles. I have said it in past weeks and I will continue to say it. The Jackson Five are a serious contender if he can sneak in the playoffs. Getting this win was monumental. In the past 5 weeks, the Five have scored 128+ points 4 times. Exactly 0 other teams have done that. As the season has gone on this team has only gotten stronger. I personally think the trade with the King was an absolute steal getting McCoy and Sidney Rice for Forte and Shockey. Also worth noting is that the Dolphins have the weakest opposing schedule in the playoffs and the Five have both Ricky Williams and Teddy Ginn Jr. TITTY meanwhile is sputtering. 2 straight defeats to direct competition have dropped Fusco into the 7th seed and a dogfight down the stretch. The opportunities have been there, but this team just hasn’t capitalized.
Coach Janky Spanky 138 – Animals With Eyepatches 120:
I will start with this statistic. In games the Eyepatches have scored 120 or more points they are 1-4. No other team has lost more than twice when reaching this point total. This team has just been incredibly unfortunate this season. Every time they put up a good week, their opponent does the same. Just a tough tough year for Jimish. This had to be a tough Sunday night game to watch as Brady and Welker dominated Addai and put this game on lock. Janky Spanky meanwhile continues to produce. After Week 10, they have taken over as the top scoring team this season. Brady continues to pace this squad and looking very strong to make the playoffs. At this time I really have nothing bad to say about this EEB squad other than I dislike almost every player on the team. Definitely on the list of contenders in my mind.
Johnson’s Farm 152 – The King’s Crusaders 107:
I guess one of these teams had to win, and I guess I’m happy to see it was the Farm. This team has been rolling on the shoulders of Chris Johnson. I hate to say it but this team has been steadily improving over the season and I’m starting to become a believer. Since week 1, this team has been in the bottom half of the league scoring for a week only twice, and never lower than 7th. Over the last 9 weeks this team is ranked #1 in the breakdown, and are now up to 2nd in the power rankings. They also occupy the #1 seed in the EFFL Playoffs. The King it appears has fallen victim to his own successful strategy. Making trades and playing matchups has been classic Woody philosophy, but with so many underachievers, lineup decisions are becoming even more critical. It also didn’t help that half of the King’s team was on the bye; however Andre Johnson was also unavailable. These teams are definitely going in opposite directions as we head into the playoffs, and the more I see of the Crusaders, the less I think this team has a chance of doing something meaningful with the 09 season.
***** Week 11 Preview *****
I had a very tough time deciding on a game of the week for Week 11, so let’s get the 2 out of the way I threw out immediately.
Stanky Monkeys (5-5) vs. Animals With Eyepatches (2-8):
This game has no fanfare at all. The past 3 times these teams have met (over a 3 year period), Lou has outscored Jimish by an average of 144-90, winning all 3. As an Eagles fan, I don’t know how Lou can even like his team. A Giant, a Jet, 2 Steelers, a Patriot and a former Giant all in his lineup. The Eyepatches meanwhile are heavily invested in Lions-Browns which could prove to be a very smart strategy. With Drew Brees at the Bucs, I seriously think the Eyepatches could steal this game. Stanky absolutely NEEDS this game if they want to stay alive for the playoffs, but I just don’t think they get it done. This feels more like a 100 point week than a 160 point week. I’m picking the Eyepatches in an upset this week.
Tequila Party Gnomes (7-3) vs. Kiss Da Baby (6-4):
With the most combined wins among any matchup this week, you would think that this would be a premier affair. Not so. Over the past 7 weeks TPG and Baby have ranked 6th and dead last in points scored respectively. What is also interesting is that Matt has scored more points than Sam in 9 out of 10 weeks so far. On the flip side, Matt’s opponent has scored more than Sam’s opponent in 8 out of 10 weeks. These teams have taken two completely opposite paths to get to this point, and each team really could use this win if they want a first round bye. Standard is that in their 8 meetings TPG has averaged 100 points scored against Sam. In 65 career games, Sam’s opponents are averaging exactly 100 points. This just has all the makings of a shitty game that will be close and filled with frustration. Sam has 3 Jaguars against the Bills so I know it will be difficult for TPG to get involved. But Matt has gone back to the basics with the power formation and senior citizens and will see all of his players on the field at 1 pm Sunday. I like the Gnomes to prevail.
Dueling Pylons (2-8) vs. Johnson’s Farm (7-3):
It truly saddens me that it has taken 11 weeks for these teams to finally square off. I think this is one of the most fun rivalries in the EFFL, and next year definitely look for these teams to have a game sooner. The Pylons own a 5-2 edge in the series including finally getting a playoff win last year. In the 5 Pylons victories the average score has been 127-89. The 2 Farm wins have been an average score of 137-93. Only 1 of the 7 games have been decided by less than 27 points. That occurred last season when Nate Kaeding outdid Jerricho Cotchery’s 10 catches for 76 yards on Monday night and sealed the victory with a 48 yard field goal with a minute to go. A proposition was made by the Farm a few weeks ago which was accepted by the Pylons. He asked, “If I use Laveraneus Coles against you and win can I write the blog the week after?” I would love to see a Gambino blog honestly, but there is no way I will lay down for this matchup. Having to see Johnson vs. Johnson on Monday night is an absolute disaster. The last time these two teams met in Week 2, the Johnson’s combined for 90 points between the two of them. Seriously. The Pylons have attempted to counter with Rob Bironas. No lead will be safe. The Farm has been too hot, and I think they take this one and run and write the Week 11 blog.
The Jackson Five (4-6) vs. Coach Janky Spanky (6-4):
I think this is going to be the best of the Week 10 games but falls just short of earning game of the week status. At the draft each of these teams kept to themselves. EEB making picks immediately on the clock from the sofa and BG with his face buried in his iPhone. This definitely has the potential to be a rivalry if these owners get to know each other a little better. Let’s be honest here. This is an absolutely HUGE game in the wild card race. If the Five win this game, the whole race gets blown open. Guaranteed 4 teams will be within one game of each other for 2 playoff spots and it could be even closer than that depending upon other results. These teams have been within 13 points of each other each of the last 4 weeks, and I am fully expecting another close game. What I find even greater is that the Five have 2 players against the Redskins. Also Tom Brady could easily determine this matchup. If he finds Welker a lot, Janky Spanky could be good. If he finds Moss and Watson, it could mean disaster. I think this is a great game and I like the Five to keep on rolling.
***** Game of the Week *****
Tweeting In The Trenches (5-5) vs. The King’s Crusaders (6-4):
This game is truly a test of two teams who are really looking to find an identity as we approach the playoffs. These teams bonded quickly with matching Giants jerseys at the draft. Fucking homos. 2 weeks ago these teams sat comfortably at 5-3 and 6-2, and both looked to be in very strong position. Now both teams are in danger of missing the playoffs. Bottom line is both teams need to win this game, especially with tiebreakers coming into play. I truly feel that this game is a playoff game. Somehow ESPN has projected these two as 2 of the 3 highest scoring teams this week. I don’t get it personally. Fusco this week has arguably the worst team I’ve ever seen, so I like the King in this one. I really do think though that both of these teams are in trouble and neither really has a shot at the title.
That’s all for this week. We’re coming down to the wire.
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