Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Who Dey House


That's actually not a question. I want tiger stripes on my house. That's sick. I'm gonna get through this blog as quick as possible. It's late.









Greatest thing I've ever seen!








DABB ON EM!!! How is Clemson #1? Pretty wild. Sadly we've seen the end of Peyton Manning. Guy set the NFL record for passing yards and got his ass benched in the same game. He put up -7 fantasy points in the EFFL on Sunday. Possibly the worst effort in league history.

I have some pre-beef before we get into the main part of the meat. The NFL admitted the referees made a mistake in the Ravens-Jaguars game. That mistake directly cost the Ravens the game. Why can't the league go back and make it right? There should have been an obvious penalty called to end the game. The officiating error directly changed the outcome of the game. You should be able to rectify that.

Beef of the Week: Mystery Meat

I actually don't know who the beef is with. It was more a scenario that I have the beef with. I've consistently had beef with Bruce Arians absolute refusal to play rookies based solely on the fact that they're rookies. He'll play a guy who's worse strictly because it's not his first year in the league. Well last night, Al Michaels is going on about the running back situation in Arizona and why they brought in Chris Johnson.

"Ellington was hurt. They drafted David Johnson, and you don't want a rookie as your ace..." WHAT?!?!?! Al PLEASE. Is he spewing this garbage? Is he being forced to say something by that lunatic Arians. Chris Johnson got fucking SHOT over the summer. What did you do in the offseason?!? Just a casual drive-by. But much more worthy of starting than David Johnson, because Chris Johnson isn't a rookie. It's infuriating. That stubbornness is going to hold the team back at some point. Book it.

But the biggest loser of the week was first place team Phil Imbesi. I was alerted Sunday afternoon that he was the sole survivor (if you lookin' for me I'll be on the block) in his Survivor pool.



All he needed was the Bengals to beat the Texans to take home $1,500. Otherwise, the pot would be split 5 ways. My advice to him was to bet $500 on the Texans + the points. He let it ride. And the Bengals lost at home to the Texans 10-6. No doubt when he reads this blog, he will not have slept.

On to the playoffs.

LOCK IT UP



* #1. Cecil Had It Coming (8-2) - Saw this coming a mile away. Lost your money. Almost lost your bye. Lead on points scored is dwindling. Gotta get it together and head into the playoffs strong. But due to points tiebreaker still owns the top spot.

* #2. The Old Ball Sack (8-2) - Also punched a playoff ticket after holding on to defeat BG. Own tiebreakers over Stanky Monkeys, but has not defeated Cecil. Get cupcake Dueling Pylons next week. Certainly in play for the bye.

* #3. Stanky Monkeys (8-2) - Having the tiebreaker over Cecil is big. Punched their playoff ticket and just playing for the bye at this point. Can easily wind up atop the standings.

SHE BOUT TO GO IN

#4. Pork Chop Express (7-3) - Unique category reserved for this team. 7-6 should end up being enough, but one more win officially clinches a playoff spot. Not in yet, but bout to go in.

WHY DOES IT FEEL SO GOOD? SO GOOD TO BE BAD


#5. Team BG (5-5) - Still hanging on. Huge matchup with Woody here that can put you a game ahead of everyone else behind you. Awful luck the last two weeks losing by 10 combined points and could easily be 7-3. I'm very much hoping you win that one.

#6. The King's Crusaders (5-5) - Got that win over Tatz. Of course. That's messed up man. I really wish we played each other a different week. But as has been the case year after year, proving a tough out. Looking pretty good despite only being .500.

#7. A Lot O'Tatz (4-5-1) - Yes, that's right, I said it. If the playoffs ended today, EEB would be out of the gutter and in as the last team. I just can't believe that's even possible. Was #13 just two weeks ago. But I've been saying it every week that this thing is gonna go til the end. Can't wait for your showdown with Woody in Week 13.

I WANNA MAKE LOVE IN THIS CLUB



#8. Team Bartholomew (4-6) - "This Club" is the playoffs. Owns tiebreakers over the other terrible 4-6 teams. Missed a huge opportunity against Woody to move up. Must take care of business against Gambino as last two are Mike Y and Lobitz.

#9. ROLL THE DICE (4-6) - Would've lost to the Pylons basically any other week, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Now owns tiebreaker over a heated rival. Same thing for Tatz applies to you. If you come up short against Cutter, finishing with Ben and Phil is not going to be easy.

#10. Dueling Pylons (4-6) - Like Team Bartholomew, blew a huge opportunity to get in. Even worse, the Pylons have lost to basically everyone around them. Unless they win out, they're going to need a good amount of help. Have to right the ship at some point.

#11. Tweeting in the Trenches (3-6-1) - Still just a game out of the playoffs. But a huge matchup with TPG is probably going to knock the loser out. 3-time defending champ is on the ropes. Can finish .500 at best. Even that might not be enough.


COOL FOR THE SUMMER

Honestly, who doesn't wanna listen to some Demi Lovato? Probably never thought that would appear on the EFFL blog. This group is just about focused on the Summer... of 2016.

#12. Tequila Party Gnomes (3-7) - TPG really needed to take down EEB. Would've been right in the playoff mix, but now 1.5 games back with just 3 to play. Can do 6-7 at best, and that's starting to look a little hairy. TITTY, Gambino and Mike Y is probably the worst final 3 you could have in terms of frustration, not quality.

#13. Bo$$town Cutter (3-7) - Out of the basement!! Gio Bernard saved your season on the final drive to keep you alive for another week. Like TPG, 6-7 is a tough sell, but you never know. Team certainly looks capable of going on a run.

#14. Geno 911 (3-7) - This team was 3-2. Scores of 102, 72, 71, 103 the past 4 weeks. Tatz, TPG and Pylons to finish the season. So if you can't make it, you're certainly in a position to play spoiler. And I know you'd love to spoil any of those teams from making it.


Week 11 Matchups

#1 Cecil Had It Coming (8-2) v. #7 A Lot O'Tatz (4-5-1)
#2 The Old Ball Sack (8-2) v. #10 Dueling Pylons (4-6)
#3 Stanky Monkeys (8-2) v. #4 Pork Chop Express (7-3)
#5 Team BG (5-5) v. #6 The King's Crusaders (5-5)
#8 Team Bartholomew (4-6) v. #14 Geno 911 (3-7)
#9 ROLL THE DICE (4-6) v. #13 Bo$$town Cutter (3-7)
#11 Tweeting in the Trenches (3-6-1) v. #12 Tequila Party Gnomes (3-7)

Best of luck to everyone in Week 11. We're on the verge of getting a couple teams knocked out and a couple more clinching. But hey, it's Week 11 and every single team is still in it. 1.5 games out with 3 to play is not the end of it. 
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