After a pathetic and injury-ridden Week 8, things started to look up again. Mike Young was spotted at the Pats-Skins game:
— Joey B (@SouthieAsShit) November 8, 2015
That's right Cutter! Better keep yo bitch on a leash!!
The funniest thing I saw all day was the combination of these two GIFs
Make sure to click play. This is great. Aaron Rodgers slamming a Surface tablet is so damn funny. I've pointed out on the blog previously how Rodgers refuses to show emotion. Well now we know what grinds his gears. Failing to see open receivers. I think this has taken over as my most enjoyable face over ManningFace.
Also, Cam Newton ripped a Packers fan's $500 sign and is threatening legal action.
And #BILLSMAFIA was BACK on Sunday... going ham in and out of the stadium. TyGOD shredded the Dolphins and my fucking parlay. Dosh was YELLING inside a bar. WHERE'S EJ MANUEL?!?!? THIS FOOL TYROD WON'T THROW TO ROBERT WOODS! He was also yelling about Chris Ivory and basically anyone directly or indirectly responsible for his fantasy team's demise.
At one point after a Bryan Walters TD (Who?) I exclaimed "WHO IS THIS WHITE GUY??!?" Probably shouldn't be yelling that in public, but when you have every other Jaguar, shit happens. I also received actual applause from another table for going nuts over Steelers D recovering a fumbleroosky and getting an extra 2 points with no time left on the clock.
But back to the Bills:
BUFFALO BILLS FANS ARE THE DRUNKEST FANS pic.twitter.com/cpRkV8MR65
— Drunk Rex (@ImDrunkRex) November 9, 2015
#BillsMafia always bringin it!! pic.twitter.com/UH7sjPNCRx
— Everything Buffalo (@EverythingBuf) November 8, 2015
Basically just go to Twitter and search #BillsMafia. Just out there killing it.And I'll leave this here for Tatz, whose team was briefly back, but now is gone again.
*** LEAGUE RULE REMINDER ***
There are a few things I wanted to remind everyone of.
1. Trade Deadline: As always, the trade deadline is before games start in Week 12, which is Thursday November 26th. So you get to enjoy the classic EEB getting plastered the night before Thanksgiving and agreeing to some ridiculous trade with Woody..
2. Keepers: No players added after Week 12 can be kept next year. So if you want to take some guys with potential, it has to be before Thanksgiving.
3. Rosters Locking: Once the playoffs start, any team who is eliminated can no longer make roster moves.
Things got a little more interesting. Phil was running away with this thing, but he's now been struck again by the injury bug. Roethlisberger is out for who knows how long. Dion Lewis is out for the year with a torn ACL. After losing Arian Foster, this has to really hurt. Even his backup QB Teddy B got knocked out cold. But the big dogs kept winning, which means there are a lot of teams still alive.
Beef of the Week: Mike Pettine
I almost forgot about this it was so long ago! What a fucking MORON this guy is. He is going to try everything in his power to keep Manziel off the football field. Guy came out after the game and just smeared shit all over JFF's face. His Browns teammates came out and supported him, but the coach had no interest in helping or promoting his young QB. I don't understand it. Surely the consensus is "He's concerned with keeping his job. He's going with the QB he thinks gives the team the best chance to win." Old, tired adages.
Johnny was a 1st round pick last year. 1st round! You don't think the owner and GM want to at least give him a shot?!? If I'm that pussy Browns owner, I'm walking into Pettine's office and giving him two options: Start Manziel, or pack up your things and GTFO. We'll bring in a guy who starts him. Either way, he's playing.
My message to Mike Pettine is basically the same thing I say to myself every Sunday morning when making lineup decisions: Stop being such a pussy. Your team is fucking terrible no matter who you use.
The Browns have no shot to go anywhere. I have so much beef. Recently, rapidly declining site Deadspin published a piece about how the NFL has no good QBs and the problem is that QBs need to sit and learn instead of being thrown to the wolves. That's such a fallacy it's unbelievable.
Take a look at the best QBs in the league who were drafted highly. How many of them "sat" while some aging veteran plugged along? Not a single one. There are only two good quarterbacks that sat for years: Rodgers and Rivers. That's it. And they were behind Favre and Brees. That's the only reason they sat. The only other guy that didn't play right away is Brady, and it's not like he was a 1st round pick. There's this huge myth that QBs need to sit and develop, and that's just not true at all. Free Johnny.
Playoffs
* 1. Cecil Had It Coming (8-1) - officially clinched playoffs
2. The Old Ball Sack (7-2)
3. Stanky Monkeys (7-2)
4. Pork Chop Express (6-3)
5. Team BG (5-4)
6. Team Bartholomew (4-5) - most points
7. The King's Crusaders (4-5) - beat Pylons
Outside Looking In
8. Dueling Pylons (4-5) - has lost to Tatz and Woody
9. A Lot O'Tatz (3-5-1) - 1001 points
10. Tweeting in the Trenches (3-5-1) - 995 points
11. ROLL THE DICE (3-6) - defeated both TPG and G911
12. Tequila Party Gnomes (3-6) - more points than G911
13. Geno 911 (3-6)
14. Bo$$town Cutter (2-7)
Again, even the team in 13th is just a game out of the playoffs with 4 weeks to go. Things are certainly very, very fluid.
I don't know why I picked Dosh to win, but the rest of my picks were good. Commish is hitting over 70%. Let's see what we've got in Week 10.
#1 Cecil Had It Coming (8-1) v. #3 Stanky Monkeys (7-2)
This is definitely a good one. Cecil is wounded. Dion Lewis is injured. Devonta Freeman is on a bye. Currently, Phil doesn't even have a QB or RB on his roster that's going to play in Week 10. All of the sudden, that team looks beatable. The Stanky Monkeys certainly had a disappointing effort in Week 9, but this could go a long way to locking up a playoff spot for the 2nd straight season after missing out in 3 straight. Phil will be back, but I don't think this is his week.
Commish's Pick: Stanky Monkeys
#2 The Old Ball Sack (7-2) v. #5 Team BG (5-4)
Somebody's gotta put a stop to Mike Y's run and butt cheeks. I think BG is that man for the job. Of course his boy Owen Daniels has his best game of the season right after they trade for Vernon Davis. But right now Brees and Demaryius and Hopkins and Landry are getting the job done. Julio also is on the bye for the ball sack. Guy needs to chill. 80 catches and 1,029 receiving yards. Those are Julio's numbers TODAY. He still plays 7 more games! I'm expecting a high scoring affair, but I think Mike Y's team in week 10 is very reminiscent of said cheeks: very white and exposed.
Commish's Pick: Team BG
#4 Pork Chop Express (6-3) v. #10 Tweeting in the Trenches (3-5-1)
No rest for the weary here. Fusco's final 5 games are against the top 4 and TPG. I think it's safe to say at this point that the 3 time defending champ is on the ropes. Got plastered Saturday night for an LSU blowout and got nidged when Jets kicker Nick Folk hurt himself during pregame warmups. The good news is that having DeAngelo on your roster is huge. The bad is you have absolutely no depth. I still think this could turn out OK, but gotta start winning some games now.
Commish's Pick: Pork Chop Express
#6 Team Bartholomew (4-5) v. #7 The King's Crusaders (4-5)
Talk about a big game here. My goodness. The winner of this game is going to have a huge leg up on clinching a playoff spot. King has made the playoffs in every single EFFL season. And every year there's a chance to knock him out. Nobody has delivered that blow yet. Let's see if Tatz can do it. I actually liked the trade with Ben. It's always good to get players who score more points for players who score less. Plus you get to root for Honolulu Blue and your Thanksgiving is that much better.
Commish's Pick: The King's Crusaders
#8 Dueling Pylons (4-5) v. #11 ROLL THE DICE (3-6)
You may not be aware, but the Pylons are kinda, sneaky hot. Like a 7.6 that you really thought was maybe a 6 but turned out to be pretty good. Since starting 0-3, the Pylons are 4-2 in their last 6. Dosh has cracked 100 points just twice the entire season. I should just turn my phone off Thursday night so I don't have to deal with "WHY ISN'T HE THROWING TO ROBERT WOODS?" "LATAVIUS MURRAY JUST RAN OFF THE FIELD FOR NO GOOD REASON". I'm gonna be sitting there with a lead, done after the 1 PM games, and holding my shorts hoping to fend off Peyton, Peterson and Latavius. Should be interesting.
Commish's Pick: Dueling Pylons
#9 A Lot O'Tatz (3-5-1) v. #12 Tequila Party Gnomes (3-6)
One of my favorite grudge matches here. Ol' Jordan Matthews finally decided to show up. He'll go away next week. Maybe EEB is finally starting to put it together. The bigger issue I see is that probably the 4 best players on the roster all have not had their bye yet. With TPG and then Phil coming up, I think that becomes a big problem. This game becomes that much bigger. TPG isn't in that bad of a spot. EEB, TITTY and Gambino still ahead make 6-7 doable. That could be enough to get in.
Commish's Pick: Tequila Party Gnomes
#13 Geno 911 (3-6) v. #14 Bo$$town Cutter (2-7)
Finally back at full strength, Cutty still can't get over the hump. Believe it or not, I think playoffs are doable. Gambino and Dosh the next two weeks can get to 4-7. Then EEB and Stanky Monkeys, and the way it's looking, 6-7 may get in. Team has been much better, and it's looking like this team can be dangerous down the stretch. I can't say the same for Geno 911, which is by far the worst team in the league. If I still did power rankings, this team would rightfully be dead last. I put playoff odds at 10% after the draft, and that feels a bit generous. Has the easiest schedule of any team down the stretch, yet will probably lose all 4 games. But hey, at least you can keep Romo.
Commish's Pick: Bo$$town Cutter
6. Team Bartholomew (4-5) - most points
7. The King's Crusaders (4-5) - beat Pylons
Outside Looking In
8. Dueling Pylons (4-5) - has lost to Tatz and Woody
9. A Lot O'Tatz (3-5-1) - 1001 points
10. Tweeting in the Trenches (3-5-1) - 995 points
11. ROLL THE DICE (3-6) - defeated both TPG and G911
12. Tequila Party Gnomes (3-6) - more points than G911
13. Geno 911 (3-6)
14. Bo$$town Cutter (2-7)
Again, even the team in 13th is just a game out of the playoffs with 4 weeks to go. Things are certainly very, very fluid.
I don't know why I picked Dosh to win, but the rest of my picks were good. Commish is hitting over 70%. Let's see what we've got in Week 10.
#1 Cecil Had It Coming (8-1) v. #3 Stanky Monkeys (7-2)
This is definitely a good one. Cecil is wounded. Dion Lewis is injured. Devonta Freeman is on a bye. Currently, Phil doesn't even have a QB or RB on his roster that's going to play in Week 10. All of the sudden, that team looks beatable. The Stanky Monkeys certainly had a disappointing effort in Week 9, but this could go a long way to locking up a playoff spot for the 2nd straight season after missing out in 3 straight. Phil will be back, but I don't think this is his week.
Commish's Pick: Stanky Monkeys
#2 The Old Ball Sack (7-2) v. #5 Team BG (5-4)
Somebody's gotta put a stop to Mike Y's run and butt cheeks. I think BG is that man for the job. Of course his boy Owen Daniels has his best game of the season right after they trade for Vernon Davis. But right now Brees and Demaryius and Hopkins and Landry are getting the job done. Julio also is on the bye for the ball sack. Guy needs to chill. 80 catches and 1,029 receiving yards. Those are Julio's numbers TODAY. He still plays 7 more games! I'm expecting a high scoring affair, but I think Mike Y's team in week 10 is very reminiscent of said cheeks: very white and exposed.
Commish's Pick: Team BG
#4 Pork Chop Express (6-3) v. #10 Tweeting in the Trenches (3-5-1)
No rest for the weary here. Fusco's final 5 games are against the top 4 and TPG. I think it's safe to say at this point that the 3 time defending champ is on the ropes. Got plastered Saturday night for an LSU blowout and got nidged when Jets kicker Nick Folk hurt himself during pregame warmups. The good news is that having DeAngelo on your roster is huge. The bad is you have absolutely no depth. I still think this could turn out OK, but gotta start winning some games now.
Commish's Pick: Pork Chop Express
#6 Team Bartholomew (4-5) v. #7 The King's Crusaders (4-5)
Talk about a big game here. My goodness. The winner of this game is going to have a huge leg up on clinching a playoff spot. King has made the playoffs in every single EFFL season. And every year there's a chance to knock him out. Nobody has delivered that blow yet. Let's see if Tatz can do it. I actually liked the trade with Ben. It's always good to get players who score more points for players who score less. Plus you get to root for Honolulu Blue and your Thanksgiving is that much better.
Commish's Pick: The King's Crusaders
#8 Dueling Pylons (4-5) v. #11 ROLL THE DICE (3-6)
You may not be aware, but the Pylons are kinda, sneaky hot. Like a 7.6 that you really thought was maybe a 6 but turned out to be pretty good. Since starting 0-3, the Pylons are 4-2 in their last 6. Dosh has cracked 100 points just twice the entire season. I should just turn my phone off Thursday night so I don't have to deal with "WHY ISN'T HE THROWING TO ROBERT WOODS?" "LATAVIUS MURRAY JUST RAN OFF THE FIELD FOR NO GOOD REASON". I'm gonna be sitting there with a lead, done after the 1 PM games, and holding my shorts hoping to fend off Peyton, Peterson and Latavius. Should be interesting.
Commish's Pick: Dueling Pylons
#9 A Lot O'Tatz (3-5-1) v. #12 Tequila Party Gnomes (3-6)
One of my favorite grudge matches here. Ol' Jordan Matthews finally decided to show up. He'll go away next week. Maybe EEB is finally starting to put it together. The bigger issue I see is that probably the 4 best players on the roster all have not had their bye yet. With TPG and then Phil coming up, I think that becomes a big problem. This game becomes that much bigger. TPG isn't in that bad of a spot. EEB, TITTY and Gambino still ahead make 6-7 doable. That could be enough to get in.
Commish's Pick: Tequila Party Gnomes
#13 Geno 911 (3-6) v. #14 Bo$$town Cutter (2-7)
Finally back at full strength, Cutty still can't get over the hump. Believe it or not, I think playoffs are doable. Gambino and Dosh the next two weeks can get to 4-7. Then EEB and Stanky Monkeys, and the way it's looking, 6-7 may get in. Team has been much better, and it's looking like this team can be dangerous down the stretch. I can't say the same for Geno 911, which is by far the worst team in the league. If I still did power rankings, this team would rightfully be dead last. I put playoff odds at 10% after the draft, and that feels a bit generous. Has the easiest schedule of any team down the stretch, yet will probably lose all 4 games. But hey, at least you can keep Romo.
Commish's Pick: Bo$$town Cutter
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