Tony Romo is Terrible

Just stating a fact. This now marks 5 games in a row where Tony Romo has failed to average 7 yards per passing attempt. That's somehow worse than Eli. The guy is truly all smoke and mirrors, and is the shining example of how guys who put up decent stats may not mean much. Romo is absolutely petrified of throwing an interception, and he'll take a 19 yard intentional grounding penalty before risking a fumble or pick. That's a standard Cowboys drive. Run for 1 yard, sack/intentional grounding for -19 yards, completion for 13 yards, punt. And Romo? He's 1 for 1 with a 13 yard completion. Great stats.

Year after year, the strategy of "throw it to your best player" goes by the wayside. Can you imagine if the Lions were 0-9 and Stafford kept slinging the ball to Kris Durham and Joseph Fauria while Tron just had his hand down his shorts? INSANE! Well Tatz, I hope after leaving the bar that you and Howie found that nice big TV to watch your Cowboys on. I'm sure you can't get enough.

As I write this, in advance of the Monday night game, the Jets would actually be in the playoffs. Only one word comes to mind: unfathomable.

Beef of the Week: Monday Night Football

What has happened to our glorious Monday night football? I really think the NFL hates ESPN and just puts the absolute worst games possible on Monday night. Earlier this season we had the worst game in the history of the league between the Vikings and Giants. Now Bucs v. Dolphins. It just gets worse and worse every single week. Next's week's game is somewhat decent, but Patriots v. Panthers is so random. I really used to like having fantasy players go Monday night, but it has just gotten to be so bad that I'd rather just get it over with on Sunday. The NFL needs to get their act together.

The WORST part is that Gruden isn't looking for a head coaching position anymore. He used to kiss everyone's ass hoping not to say anything bad about any organization. Now? He simply points out on a week-to-week basis that awful teams are awful. I'm complaining as much as you Jon, but trust me in that nobody wants to hear me whine. They feel the same way about you.


I also have not forgotten about the high score prize, despite not mentioning it that frequently. Amazingly, the 2nd, 3rd and 4th highest scoring teams have yet to have the high score in a week. Winners thus far:

Week 1: Chris Woody / Yashar Toliver
Week 2: Darryl Hazelwood
Week 3: Adam Cutter
Week 4: Elliott Miller
Week 5: Adam Cutter
Week 6: Chris Woody
Week 7: Sam Woody
Week 8: Lou Sarcone / Ben Lobitz
Week 9: Brandon Riff
Week 10: Eric Brooking


*** League Notes ***

Trade Deadline: Wednesday, November 20th at noon. This is next week. I know usually we have EEB getting drunk on Thanksgiving Eve and selling his soul, but unfortunately the league decided Week 13 would be Thanksgiving this year. Our deadline is still Week 12.

Keepers: Same rule as always. Anyone added after the start of Week 12 CANNOT BE KEPT.


League 1

We have our first playoff team, and there are more lined up right behind. TPG and RGIII have been put on notice for the Relegation Ladder. While giving up may seem like an option, let me remind you of the reaction last season to relegation:

"Although we lost today, we will all be winners in August watching EEB draft in League 2" - Chris Woody
"At least a Woody can't win" - Eric Brooking
"He's out!!!!!!!!!" - Matt Atallian
"I don't want EEB" - Adam Tatz

You don't want to be involved with that.

* 1. Team Toliver (8-2): In his first season in League 1, Yashar has made quick work of the competition and secured a playoff berth. 8-2 is a very impressive record, and now that Peyton Manning is through his bye, it's all systems go. Whole team did pretty terrible sans Manning and Sproles, but that's been the formula for success. The pickup of Ben Tate looks great now that Foster is out for the year. That's a nice card to have in your hand. Can clinch a first round bye in week 11.

2. Tweeting in the Trenches (7-3): Not officially in, but he's in. At worst can end up in a 5 way tie at 7-6, but is so far ahead on points that it won't be a problem. Really got challenged with 85 from Sam. I'm being harsh, but there's no real reason. I get texts every week demanding a repeat champion. I don't want that. Nobody wants that. But there just aren't that many true contenders. The league may need to rely on Yashar.

3. The King's Crusaders (6-4): A win would have been huge, but it's not the end of the world. Still multiple games ahead of the 7th place team with only 3 to play. Can lock up a playoff spot in Week 11 with a win and some help. The stat line would have looked even uglier if not for the miraculous AJ Green catch, but it should be easy to move on from this one given the strong playoff stature. Has the privilege of being able to put TPG out of his misery in Week 11.

4. Geno 911 (5-4-1): Could have been worse. Getting a tie actually bumps Geno into 4th place. In a matchup marred with terrible coaching decisions on both sides, a tie is actually fitting. If not for Demaryius, this team would have been piss poor. Has the weakest remaining schedule in the league, so missing the playoffs would be a complete embarrassment at this point. The rematch with the Pylons in Week 12 is big.

5. Lady Luck (5-5): This team is plummeting like a rock. Losers of 3 straight, there's little reason to believe this team will have a complete revelation. Man I would've loved Welker to show up, but it was not meant to be. Yashar is playing for a bye so he'll surely be looking to make quick work of this team. There's a lot of heat from behind, so this team must be careful.

6. Threeing the Hogs (5-5): Can't believe this team is in it, but I guess there's not really anyone else who has done anything. You arguably have one of the most difficult remaining schedules, but you and Sam could be playing for one playoff spot in week 12. Imagine if Darryl had just checked his lineup and used RGIII instead of having to use Eli. You should certainly be feeling a little lucky right now.

7. Dueling Pylons (3-5-2): What kind of record is this? It ends up being the same as 4-6, which puts the Pylons squarely a game out of the playoffs. Missed a golden opportunity in Week 11, as there could have been 3 5-5 teams with the Pylons only a half game back. Now dead even with the Stanky Monkeys, and the loser of the Week 11 matchup could very well be out of the playoffs. With bye weeks still looming, the Pylons could be in trouble.

8. Stanky Monkeys (4-6): It's been a battle to dig out of an 0-5 hole, but Lou has certainly done an impressive job. Only a game out of a playoff spot with 3 to go, so there is plenty of opportunity. Calvin Johnson has 112 fantasy points... in his last 3 games. I've never seen anything like it. At the same time, Drew Brees has been unconscious. This team has a head of steam, and I wouldn't wanna play them right now. Thankfully, I get to play them right now.

9. RGIII for President (3-7): Got caught asleep at the wheel and completely burned by failing to use RGIII. Very unfortunate and certainly not League 1 material. It would be a shock at this point to not see Darryl back in the relegation ladder. The Aaron Rodgers injury definitely messed you up, and it's going to hurt going forward. There's a lot to overcome. You can be eliminated in Week 11 with a loss and some other unfavorable results.

10. Tequila Party Gnomes (2-7-1): There's no sugar coating it anymore. TPG is on life support. The best this team can do is 5-7-1. TPG needs absolutely every result the rest of the way to go his way to get in. Any slip up eliminates the Gnomes and sends them into the relegation ladder. It's an unfortunate turn of events for a storied EFFL franchise, but this has been brewing for awhile. Prepare for Week 14, or get sent to sleep in the attic with Fuller.


League 2

Not much development in League 2. It's starting to look more and more like it'll be Meech and Tatz missing the playoffs. Week 11 should see some more teams lock up a playoff spot.

* 1. Darkest Norseman (8-2): An 8 game winning streak is certainly the most impressive feat across both leagues. Plays a pretty weak final 3, so it's conceivable this team rips off 11 straight heading into the playoffs. This team needs to win just one of the final 3 games to clinch a first round bye. As it stands, 8 may be enough to get the job done. Dosh informed me at this point he's just picking up players to block other teams.

* 2. Bo$$town Beasts (7-3): Couldn't knock off Dosh yet again, but I'm sure there will be time for revenge. Still in decent shape for a first round bye, but it's not looking as strong as it once was. Plays the bottom 3 in the league over the final 3 weeks, so anything less than a bye must be considered a disappointment. It's hard to believe Peyton will allow that.

3. Game on Dick Bag (6-4): Not officially in yet, but on the verge of clinching. A win or Street Pige loss will lock up a spot. This is actually one of the hottest teams in the league. Winning 5 of 6 is a run that will have you in the playoffs. I think this team has a legitimate shot to take down one of the top teams.

4. EEB Ventura (5-4-1): I think in League 1, you'd be down looking at relegation again. I do love, however, that you refuse to acknowledge that the AFC exists. In all honesty, it would be a complete shock if you were somehow to miss the playoffs. You can clinch with a win or a Meech loss. You should be safely in the wild card round.

5. Super Mario Brothers (4-5-1): Of all the teams who can slip up and drop out of the playoffs, I think this one is the most likely. After a nice 4-2 start, this team has gone winless in 4 straight. The remaining schedule looks pretty imposing, and if Tatz somehow is able to make a last gasp effort, you could be playing for the final spot in week 13. Any win at this point is going to be big. A win and Meech loss clinches a playoff spot.

6. Jersey Leshoure (4-6): When Cam Newton has a bad game, this team doesn't look as scary. But there's still Tron, and that's going to be big. Replace Kenny Stills and Terrance Williams with Gronk and Josh Gordon, and I think you have some serious potential. Getting a game up on the Street Pigeons was important since he holds the tie breaker over you. You control your own destiny.

7. Street Pigeons (3-7): One step forward, and one giant step back. Starting an injured McFadden was a curious strategy, and unfortunately it did not pay off. It may be that the entire Atallian family has given up on fantasy football. Losing Rodgers, Foster, and Cobb is enough to seal any team's fate. That's 3 of your top 4 picks. Not officially out, but you're on thin ice.

8. Team Meat Collage (2-8): In last place and lost to EEB. I certainly don't need to pile on. Even Demaryius going off wasn't enough to help you. Entrusted the team to Tony Romo and Mike Wallace. It's safe to say this placing is not unexpected. Will be eliminated with a loss and Ben win. There's no time left to lose.


There are only 3 weeks remaining in the regular season. After next week, it might be time to start looking at some playoff matchups. Things are still wide open in both leagues. Good luck.