Pylons Moving Backwards

 

Forgive me if I talk about my own team for a little bit, but it's been a rough few days. I woke up last Thursday at 1-1 and ready to party. Just over 72 hours later, I was 0-3. My beef of the week last week called out Fred Jackson. Little did I know that he would ruin my week 2 and week 3. The guy is going to be 33 in February! It's a ridiculous age for a Running Back and he must be sent out to pasture. No mention from CBS about the condition of CJ Spiller or his backers. Just a healthy dose of Fred Jackson in my face. Again and again, I just can't handle the rules of fantasy football.

The Bills game was front and center where us Bills fans became the centerpiece for finger pointing. No matter where you were, everyone in the bar could see that you were rooting for a terrible team. Conversely, the Giants game was broadcast in a dark corner of the bar, because nobody wants to be around Giants fans. I was later found demanding shots and blacking out after it was official that the Pylons would remain winless.

#2 in the rule book is don't start players against your own defense. This is like hedging, which is never a good idea in fantasy football. The violator this week was TPG, as they were outdone by a Woody kicker on Monday night. Any McFadden or Janikowski points would have been detrimental to the Broncos defense. It's no wonder the Pylons and Gnomes are both 0-3 following these blatant violations.

Beef of the Week: Gamblers

I will admit that I bet on the NFL in weeks 1 and 2. It was not a pretty sight. You don't really know how bad it gets unless you're on the outside looking in. After a rough two weeks, I took a break. Some clown in the bar did not. Dude was screaming at Titans-Chargers for 3 straight hours like an absolute madman. Why would you ever bet on that game knowing you'll have to watch it? When the Titans scored a winning TD this guy started doing Tae-Bo, taking out anyone in his path. It was a truly alarming wake up call. But I'll probably be back on the horse this week. I want to do Tae-Bo.


League 1

Things are already starting to get tense in League 1 as at least one team will be headed to 0-4 and one will be headed to 4-0. You can't really say any team has been wronged by their record as the lowest scoring teams sit at the bottom of the standings. Let's take a look at where each team stands:

1. Team Toliver (3-0) - Last week: 3

Peyton Manning and Julio Jones on the same roster is bad news for the rest of the league. There's plenty of other talent on this roster that can fill in and get the job done. This team should avoid down weeks, which is huge, plus a 3-0 start doesn't hurt. This team didn't even score a TD until Sunday night and still ended up with the 3rd highest score. The current team to beat. This anti-Pylons message also helped:

2. RGIII For President (2-1) - Last week: 4

Darryl has picked up 2 wins since the last blog, which is a tremendous feat. This team is actually 1st in the league breakdown, indicating that with a neutral schedule, this team would be expected to have the best record in the league. Probably in some trouble with the Packers on a bye, but getting that out of the way is huge. This team looks very, very solid right now. Two teams that moved up from League 2 currently occupy the top two spots. An impressive feat.

3. Tweeting in the Trenches (3-0) - Last week: 7

No love! Baby don't hurt me. Jamaal Charles is the top RB. Matt Stafford is respectable. I'm just still not buying it. This just doesn't have the feel of a championship team to me. You tell me EFFL brethren... how many players on this team would you really want to trade for? Maybe 2 or 3 at best? The only thing I'm ranking Fusco first in is most annoying to trade with. Nobody overvalues their players more than Fusco. He'd probably laugh in your face at a Calvin Johnson for Antonio Brown offer.

4. The King's Crusaders (2-1) - Last week: 1

Conceded on Twitter Sunday afternoon. These new tactics work. This team can barely field a lineup, yet when everyone shits the bed, his opponent starts two Raiders and his kicker scores 17 points. This would never happen to anyone not named Woody. It's a new year and the same story. Solid team with potential. Nobody scores points against him and squeaks out wins. Blows up in November and December. This team could be very dangerous moving forward.

5. Lady Luck (2-1) - Last week: 8

I keep flip-flopping on this team. Has some very good players, but really only has that. The management is extremely poor. Blind homerism cost this team a win as they continue to roll out David Wilson despite the fact that he had negative points coming into this week. Benching Cam Newton for Eli Manning cost this team an easy win and a 3-0 record. But hey, knowing Lady Luck, it'll be Darryl who has a CJ Spiller catch overturned this week awarding this team the win.

6. Tavon in 60 Seconds (2-1) - Last week: 5

Not really sure what this team's plan is. Right behind Fusco in terms of overvaluing players. This team is coming crashing back to Earth now that its players who always get injured are starting to get injured. Arian Foster looks like complete doo-doo. Look at this team's Week 4 starters. Absolutely brutal. This team is going to sink like a stone to the bottom of the standings before our very eyes.

7. Dueling Pylons (0-3) - Last week: 2

Complete feast or famine team. This never bodes well for championship hopes. Now faces winless TPG in pretty much a must-win game in week 4. Sad. Who knows what will come of this team, but the inconsistency is too wild to ignore. The robbery of a week 2 victory will haunt this team all season. Started 2 Bills and expected to win. Idiot.

8. Tequila Party Gnomes (0-3) - Last week: 6

Had a Running Back, Defense and Kicker outscored by a Kicker Monday night. Terrible. Mike Wallace looks like a complete farce and Roddy White is absolutely killing this team right now. If Trent Richardson can't get it together, this team could be in a lot of trouble. See: Pylons, Dueling. Started 2 Raiders and expected to win. Idiot.

9. Threeing the Hogs (1-2) - Last week: 9

Beating up the special kid doesn't get you any points. In fact, it's just rude. It's alarming that this lineup won. Thankfully Jimmy Graham was there to save the day. Graham is the only glimmer of hope this team has, but unfortunately it probably won't go anywhere without trading him. Edelman, Royal, Jared Cook is not a championship team. We've seen far, far better days from Mike Y. Beat King and then come talk to me.

10. Stanky Monkeys (0-3) - Last week: 10

Still in the basement of the power rankings. Still winless. Hasn't scored more than 105 in a single week. That last fact is especially ridiculous considering this team has Drew Brees, Calvin Johnson, and Jason Witten. This team really needs to make some big moves either on the waiver wire or via trade. Maybe trading Hakeem Nicks to a Giants fan is the way to go. He sucks.


League 2

As was the case last week, League 2 appears to have solid balance and the rankings have not changed much since last week. The second highest scoring team is 1-2, while EEB Ventura is just a complete clown. He cannot be allowed back in League 1.

1. Bo$$town Beasts (3-0) - Last week: 1

Very solid week for Cutter. Picked up the $10 high score prize, is the only team in League 2 at 3-0, and is the highest scoring team across both leagues. Add that to the fact that he had 2 players combine for 1 point and it could have been way worse. As is the case in League 1, the team with Peyton Manning is #1 overall. Dosh is surely still wondering why he ever listened to EEB. He's the only one. I'd expect this team to stay consistent all season.

2. Game on Dick Bag (1-2) - Last week: 3

Despite the loss, Sam moves up due to a pretty big week. A healthy Larry Fitzgerald should help this team get it together. Obviously tons of time left, but would be good to get a couple wins under his belt. Big week 4 matchup with the Norseman will leave one team behind, but I like where this team is at.

3. Darkest Norseman (1-2) - Last week: 2

Finally on the board with a victory, but it was over the lowly Meat Collage. The panic button was already hit with the benching of Matty Ice, but things should be turning around. A healthy Roddy White will definitely help Dosh's QB man crush get back on track. I'm expecting big things from this team and certainly view them as a strong playoff squad.

4. Jersey Leshoure (2-1) - Last week: 5

Made quick work of the Eskimo Brothers and jumped all the way to 2nd place. What a collection of guys on this team. 2 Lions, 1 Dolphin, 1 Panther, 1 Ram, 1 Buccaneer. Hasn't seen a good game on Sunday all season. I'm liking this team more and more as time has gone on. I'm expecting this run to continue against the Street Pigeons. There's a definitely dropoff in team quality after the top 4.

5. EEB Ventura (2-1) - Last week: 4

Amazing that this team is 2-1 and in the top 5 despite failing to put up 100 points 2 weeks in a row. I think the Woody syndrome is rubbing off on EEB. When you can have a down week across the board and still come away with a win, you're in good shape. Tough week 4 matchup with Cutter with teams going in different directions. Will be interesting to see if their fortunes change and EEB can break 100 for the first time since early September.

6. Street Pigeons (1-2) - Last week: 6

If I'm the owner of the Pigeons, I'm wondering how this team has done so poorly. Just nothing went right in Week 3, and couldn't even take out an EEB squad that put up a total of 1 TD. Potential is there, but again has failed to deliver. Show me something or you'll be moved down. Also, don't let a guy draft for you who has an obsession with the Raiders. Show up!

7. Super Mario Brothers (2-1) - Last week: 6

I wasn't big on this team last week despite the record, and I think this week was the reason why. Brees and Julio is nice, but there has to be more production from other positions. Good thinking using Dwayne Bowe, but you should never trust Andy Reid. He's laughing all the way to the bank and collecting as the new Kool-Aid spokesman. Beat the Tatz and I'll reconsider.

8. Meat Collage (0-3) - Last week: 8

Just like in League 1, the team I've had at the bottom for a majority of the rankings is in dead last. Word on the street is that other owners are already trying to raid this team for parts. Left 116 points and a win on the bench. Dosh thanks you. There are better days ahead, but questionable lineup decisions have plagued this team thus far. Will be an interesting week 4 affair against the #7 team in the rankings.


I was still reeling from my defeat, which explains the late blog. But we must move forward. Myself, Matt, Lou and Tatz are the only winless teams remaining. Yashar, Fusco and Cutty the only undefeated. I look forward to an exciting week 4.

If you have any pictures or guest comments that you would like featured on the blog, please let me know. I'll be happy to use them. Good luck to everyone.