Week 2 was not for the faint of heart. If you happened to make it through the week unscathed, consider yourself fortunate. Not only did a lot of names go down, a lot of big names went down. Ray Rice, Larry Fitzgerald, Maurice Jones-Drew, Steven Jackson, Eddie Lacy, Andre Johnson and Reggie Bush to name a few. Basically the fantasy football stars of 2008. Live in the now! If you had a number of these guys, your team probably wasn't going anywhere anyway.
A special congratulations is in order to our own Chris Fusco. He and his wife/backer Jenna welcomed their first child into the world. Eli Manning Fusco was born this past Wednesday and weighed in at 8 pounds even. Eli was spotted just four days later with a Yankee pacifier and a Giant "Fusco 25" custom infant jersey. Congrats to Chris and Jenna.
Beef of the Week: Fred Jackson
How is this guy still in the league? He's going on 33 years old, averages less than 4 yards a carry, and is stealing over 10 touches a game from the best player in the world CJ Spiller. What kind of voodoo does this guy possess? He had Chan Gailey mind-whipped, and the new coaching regime was supposed to change that. Offensive Coordinator Nathaniel Hackett infamously said this summer "We're gonna feed Spiller til he throws up". Are you? Are you, Nathaniel? CJ must have a weak stomach because it's inexcusable to have Fred Jackson with 16 touches.
I know what you're thinking... No past or present Bills... Rule #1 of fantasy football. And maybe this is true. Bu, it's just ridiculous at this point. Give your best player the ball. Please. PLEASE!
The below conversation actually happened at a Buffalo Wild Wings in Bumblefuck, PA.
Me: Find Julius!!!
White Trash Guy: Are you a Broncos fan?
Me: No, but I'll take any excuse to root against the Giants.
WTG: Cool, I'm a Chargers fan.
Me: OK...
(5 minutes later)
Me: JULIUS!!! MORE JULIUS!!!
WTG: Do you play fantasy football or something?
Me: No, I'm just a Julius Thomas fan. Been following him since Portland St.
WTG: ........
Me: Yes, I play fantasy football.
League 1
Before we get into the power rankings, I just wanted to quickly highlight the woes of both Darryl and myself. Each of us got rammed to the tune of 194 points in Week 1. Naturally, we faced off in week 2, and naturally, we put up the two highest point totals across both leagues. I ended up the victor by a single point, winning 162-161. Darryl's 161 is the highest score by a losing team in EFFL History. Welcome to League 1.
1. The King's Crusaders (1-1) - Last week: 1 - This still looks like the best team to me. You know, they say Danny Amendola is the new Wes Welker, but I think Tavon Austin may be the new Danny Amendola. A short, white guy with little to no skill who catches all of Sam Bradford's 6 yard passes. Most weeks, this team should feel very confident that they'll be in the game. One thing to monitor may be the depth at RB. If Doug Martin goes down, this team may need to make a big move.
2. Dueling Pylons (1-1) - Last week: 4 - The Pylons currently have the #1 RB, #1 WR, #2 TE, and #1 DEF. None of this includes Dez Bryant, CJ Spiller or Tommy Brady. If Brady can get his act together, this team can threaten the top spot in the Power Rankings. The Pylons always seem to have a down Week 1, but things seem to be turning around quickly. This team has by far the toughest 3 week schedule out of the gate.
3. Team Toliver (2-0) - Last week: 2 - Team Toliver really didn't go down in my book in Week 2. More of a lateral movement. Sproles, Steve Smith, Tony G, Anquan, and VJax combined for 41 points, and this team still put up 120. The Peyton Manning / Julio Jones combo may be the best 1-2 punch across both leagues. Naturally after a down week and with the Pylons coming to town, this team is primed for 150+ yet again.
4. RGIII For President (0-2) - Last week: 7 - For whatever reasons unknown to the league, Marshawn Lynch was benched in favor of DeMarco Murray. If not for that gigantic coaching mistake, this team would be 1-1 with the Pylons left winless. This team was the victim of intoxicated drafting, as while it is very solid on the surface, the depth is not there. With some waiver wire pickups, this team should be in decent shape. Losing to Sam Woody and falling to 0-3 is not an option.
5. Tavon in 60 Seconds (2-0) - Last week: 9 - I can't believe this team is 2-0. The steal of the draft may turn out to be Mike Vick if he can stay somewhat healthy. Recently completed a Frank Gore and Miles Austin for Alfred Morris trade with the Stanky Monkeys. Asked my thoughts, I told Nick "2 is more than 1". That's how it goes with scrubs. I can see this team backing into the playoffs and getting his usual #5 or #6 seed only to be immediately eliminated. The Seahawks defense also is a huge asset.
6. Tequila Party Gnomes (0-2) - Last week: 3 - The Gnomes are already wondering why things have happened the way they have. Trent Richardson has done nothing, Roddy White has been injured, and Mike Wallace and Adrian Peterson have traded weeks of inconsistency. This team is ranked here strictly on potential. It's rare that guys don't put it all together in the first couple weeks. But has a very difficult matchup with the King in week 3 and is in real danger of falling to 0-3.
7. Tweeting in the Trenches (2-0) - Last week: 8 - I'm still not a believer. Usually it's the other way around where I like this team, but the record doesn't support it. Taking the Sam Woody reverse approach is never a good thing. Through two weeks has allowed 197 points. Wouldn't that be nice. The worst part is that Chris faces Nick in week 3, so one of those teams will be 3-0. Barf. Haven't you learned anything from Nick? Trying to fill your holes with Johnsons is always a losing battle.
8. Lady Luck (2-0) - Last week: 5 - I'm actually surprised that drafting Bears with your first two picks can work out, but that seems to be the case thus far. I don't think this team is anything special at this point, but you never know. History has shown that luck is on this team's side. This team's bench is also absolutely terrible, so if someone goes down, it could spell trouble.
9. Threeing the Hogs (0-2) - Last week: 6 - It appears that the rest of the league has found the chink in Mike Y's armor: Open Bar. Not sure what happened to this team, but it is getting ugly quick. Lost Ray Rice and Larry Fitz to injuries in week 2. A possible starting lineup for week 3 includes Russell Wilson, Stevan Ridley, Julian Edelman, Dwayne Bowe at best. Faces Lou in week 3 to determine who truly has the worst team in the EFFL. It might not be too soon to start preparing for the relegation battle.
10. Stanky Monkeys (0-2) - Last week: 10 - When your top 3 running backs are Frank Gore, Maurice Jones-Drew, and Knowshon Moreno, you're in trouble. You figure this team must have gone WR heavy, right? Started a Cardinals #3 receiver in week 2. This team is a DISASTER. Actually made a smart move in trading one guy to pick up two. It's shaping up to be a real struggle for the Stanky Monkeys to make the playoffs this year.
League 2
This side of the EFFL appears to be much more balanced than League 1. Coming up with these rankings was pretty challenging, and this can certainly change on a week-to-week basis.
1. Bo$$town Beasts (2-0) - Last week: 5 - This may be the first time ever that Cutter has topped the rankings, but the Boss has finally done it. While MJD and Hakeem Nicks don't appear to be helping, the rest of this team is real solid. Manning, Welker, Jordy Nelson, and Jimmy Graham are all top options, and there's no reason to believe this team won't be a contender and a top candidate for promotion.
2. The Darkest Norseman (0-2) - Last week: 1 - I'm still a complete believer in this squad. Despite being 0-2, is still the 3rd highest scoring team in League 2. This is a classic example of why depth is so important. You can throw Peterson, Dez and Brandon Marshall out there, but if you're also forced to start Kenbrell Thompkins and Miles Austin, things aren't as rosy as they should be. Already with a huge matchup in week 3 as Dosh faces the Tatz's winless squad. There will only be one winless team left.
3. Game On Dick Bag (1-1) - Last week: 2 - Had a poor week 2, but I'm still a fan. Currently has the top 2 RBs in the league, and potential breakout candidates Jason Witten and Matt Stafford. The Larry Fitzgerald injury hurts in the short run, but this team should be OK. Picked the wrong time to have an injury as the top ranked Cutter sits on the horizon.
4. EEB Ventura (1-1) - Last week: 3 - Came back to earth this week in a total beatdown. This team is an interesting case. Seems to have a lot of solid players, but no real superstars other than AJ Green. DeSean could end up saving him, however. EEB has put himself in a bind as he will constantly be facing difficult lineup decisions. His track record has shown this is not a good thing. Odds are, he pulls a Gambino, gets a #5 or #6 seed, and shits himself round 1.
5. Jersey Leshoure (1-1) - Last week: 8 - Out of the basement and feasting on a helpless EEB, Ben is headed in the right direction. I bet he's looking back at that Cam Newton pick and wondering why he didn't go with a better receiver. Started both Brian Hartline and Tavon Austin in week 2. That's a bad sign of things to come. Reggie Bush seems to be OK so dodged a bullet there. Will be interesting to see which direction this team heads.
6. Super Eskimo Brothers (2-0) - Last week: 6 - How is the undefeated, highest scoring team 6th in the rankings? I'm not a believer. Brees, Marshawn Lynch, Julio Jones and Victor Cruz looks great right now. But outside of that, this team has nothing. If any of these guys get injured, it's bad news all around. Will have an interesting test against Ben in Week 3. I need to see something from somebody else.
7. Street Pige (1-1) - Last week: 4 - I'm not really that down on this team, but the Andre Johnson concussion is a huge blow. This is yet another team that is very strong at the top, but has not much outside of a couple big players. That should keep you in the hunt for most of the season, but it becomes very difficult to win it all. This team needs to make some smart lineup decisions, which has been a problem in the past.
8. Team Meat Collage (0-2) - Last week: 7 - Winless and dead last in points. But this team certainly has the potential to move up quick. Has probably the most disappointing QB and RB thus far in Brady and Trent Richardson. There is nothing that could have been done last week, and it appears this team will either sink or swim with the guys they're rolling with. Beating Dosh this weekend will be a step in the right direction.
Hope you enjoyed this week's blog. I'm hoping to have more hilarious bar experiences to share with the blog. It's only week 3, but it's already going to be a big one.
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