Power Outages

I’m going to make this a pretty short blog as I have been without power since Monday night.  Apparently Con Edison’s transformers are working even poorer than Megatron.  The Eagles suck, the Giants are the luckiest team in the league, and somehow the Colts and Dolphins would both be in the playoffs if the season ended today.  Week 8 was a VERY low scoring week, as only 2 teams across the league put up more than 126 points.

Beef of the Week: My beef this week has to do with the NFL Network.  This is actually a double beef this week, so it will win the Five Guys outstanding performer award.  First of all, I appreciate the NFL Network showing throughout the day their “top fantasy performers”.  However, nobody uses their standard scoring system.  Nobody!  You can never find your players at the bottom because of this ignorance.  I don’t like it.

My second beef this week has to do with their use of Mike Mayock.  I get multiple complaints about this guy like I put him in the booth.  Nobody cares Mike that you know offensive lineman Matt Kalil’s approximate combine 40 time.  Your thick Philadelphia accent does not help matters… especially when you pronounce the word “league” as “lig”.  It’s a league Mike, a league.  NFL Network continuously pushes the worst games and makes you listen to the worst broadcast team possible.  It’s brutal to watch and even worse to listen to.

Chris Woody won the $10 week 8 prize as high score, which saddens me.  Here are the week 8 rankings:

EFFL League 1

1. Dueling Pylons (5-3) – Last week: 1 – Took a tough loss against TITTY but is still the favorite in League 1.  Would be the #1 seed if the playoffs started today.  Teams have unloaded on the Pylons to the tune of 144 PPG over the last 5 weeks, but still fighting.

2. Tweeting in the Trenches (3-5) – Last week: 5 – Really come on strong lately.  Finally out of the gutter and threatening to make the playoffs for the first time ever.

3. Tequila Party Gnomes (4-4) – Last week: 2 – TPG has fallen on hard times the past couple weeks but should be finally turning the corner.  Look for this team to solidify themselves as a playoff squad soon.  You were also dropped for suffering your 10^th loss to Gambino.  A stain on this storied franchise’s name.

4. The King’s Crusaders (3-5) – Last week: 6 – You knew it would be hard to keep this team down.  Still not much depth, but looking stronger with the emergence of Doug Martin.  Don’t count them out.

5. Stanky Monkeys (4-4) - Last week: 7 – Hanging in there.  Jason Witten isn’t going to give you 18 catches again, but this team has a shot to climb higher.  This is one team I think could be in danger down the stretch.

6. Eat My Asomugha (5-3) - Last week: 3 – This is a team of players nobody else wants.  I’d be willing to wager you haven’t received a single trade offer all season.  Remaining schedule doesn’t look too daunting.

7. Lady Luck (5-3) – Last week: 4 – True to form, Lady Luck is by far dead last in scoring yet is tied for first in the standings.  Happens every year.  If you had the Pylons schedule, you’d be 1-7.  With the toughest remaining schedule, this team could be in danger.

8. Coach Janky Spanky (3-5) – Last week: 8 – Holding on for dear life in the standings.  This team has had the low score 2 of the past 3 weeks.  I really wouldn’t expect things to get better any time soon.  EEB has been officially put on relegation alert.

EFFL League 2

1. Team Toliver (6-2) – Last week: 1 – Finally had the 6 game winning streak snapped by your Kryptonite Mike Y.  Still the highest scoring team with the best record, so you’ll stay here for now.

2. Threeing the Hogs (5-3) – Last week: 2 – The only guy that can get to the top team.  This team is looking pretty solid right now and should definitely be in the playoffs.

3. Claiborne Supremacy (4-4) – Last week:5 – Other than Mike Y, this is the only team that has been over 120 in 4 of the past 5 weeks.  This team should be good enough to ensure a playoff berth.

4. Jersey Leshoure (3-5) – Last week: 6 – Found out the hard way that you should never listen to the commissioner’s advice.  I’d expect to see better days ahead from this squad.

5. RGIII for President (4-4) – Last week: 4 – With election season rapidly approaching, a little more consistency is warranted.  This team should get there, but there is not much margin for error.

6. The Heads of State (4-4) – Last week: 3 – This team really should be higher at this point, but has really struggled.  If this team fails to make the playoffs I’d be shocked, but things must improve quickly.

7. Bo$$town Beasts (4-4) – Last week: 7 – Cutter is fading quickly.  Now a loser of 3 straight, this team may not have enough to hang on.  Critical game this week against Tatz.

8. BABY TEES (2-6) – Last week: 8 – Still 2 games out of a playoff spot with 5 to go, there is work to be done.  Definitely one of the toughest schedules remaining as well.  Things may get better but the odds are stacked against you.

Good luck to everyone in Week 9 as the playoffs approach.  Hope you all stayed safe during the storm and get power back soon if you lost it like myself.  Sorry for the shortened blog, but it will have to do for this week.