Every now and then, staying up late to watch the end of a Monday night game pays off. I had most of the blog written but needed to double back due to the meltdown of the Chargers. There is NOTHING worse than being at the mercy of Norv on Monday night. Just don't do it to yourself because the result is gonna be you drinking yourself into bolivion. The real loser Monday night was Chris Woody. Philip Rivers just could not get out of his own way. He had 6! turnovers. The end result was a 3 point Lou victory and a King team that has plummeted to 1-5. To add insult to injury, the final Rivers fumble was recovered by Delaware alum Mike "Pops" Adams.
I think Scott Hanson may have lost his mind. In case you missed it, in a matter of 10 seconds, RG3 ripped off a 70 yard TD run, Belichick and Cutter were buried by a Sidney Rice TD, and Jay Feely and his indoor kicking gloves doinked a game winning field goal off an upright. It was remarkable. That's what the NFL is all about. That, and Wes Welker getting lit up like a Christmas tree by imposing defenders who sadly chose money over championships.
Directly to the beef....
Beef of the Week: While I will admit that I had a nice time at a wedding Sunday and thankfully missed the Eagles game, how as a grown, seemingly responsible male, do you plan your wedding on an NFL Sunday? I think this has to piss people off more than any other wedding scenario. Demanding guests spend thousands of dollars for a destination wedding in Latin America is probably more courteous. Here's the result of your plans... Your guests stand in the bar area on their phones checking fantasy football scores and yelling at a dysfunctional ESPN app. When I'm at a wedding I wanna get fucked up, fist pump, and not have to worry whether BenJarvus Green-Ellis has chosen the week he's playing me to have his one good week of the season.
Side beef: Players need to stop doing the "discount double check" every time they get near Aaron Rodgers. I hate that cocky asshole too, but it's old and not cool. Get your own celebration. The only thing worse than a mock celebration is the same mock celebration that 5 other players have done before.
I also enjoyed this absolutely SICK catch by Brandon Gibson to give Greg "The Leg" Zuerlein aka "Legatron" a chance at a 66 yard tying field goal. This guy is going to break the NFL record long field goal at some point.
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The power rankings for week 6:
EFFL League 1
1. Tequila Party Gnomes (4-2) - Last week: 1 - The clear #1 team last week, but the gap has closed on the Gnomes. Finally took his first loss to Fusco after 4 years of league play. You were the only League 1 member to have never lost to another League 1 member. Congrats. Had a bunch of bad luck in week 6, but should be back strong. A lot of bye weeks coming up could hamper this team a little bit. Still looking fine for the playoffs.
2. Dueling Pylons (4-2) - Last week: 4 - Apparently it took a little humility for the Pylons to get their act together. Being overconfident in this league gets you nowhere. Set an all time high with 171 points, and could have been even more if not for the decision to start B.Berger. This team should have some up and down weeks, but having a number of players emerging at this point can only be a good sign.
3. Tweeting in the Trenches (2-4) - Last week: 3 - Did not make me look foolish by ranking you highly last week. Another very good week has TITTY looking like it's ready to be a force. Good thing you hung in there and didn't change your name. Has a little bit of an advantage in that a good amount of your players have already had a bye. Surely Woody will target you and try to deal you a guy who hasn't had his bye yet. Keep up the good work and have a nice porter. Massive week 7 matchup will go a long way.
7a. Coach Janky Spanky (2-4) - Last week: 2 - I'm going to be honest... The rest of your teams are absolute garbage. Until further notice, I'm amending the rankings to not have teams 4-6. Apparently if you want to be taken as a serious contender, you start Jeremy Kerley. You gotta be kidding me, man. To make matters worse, you inadvertently sent me a text message about the quality of avocados. Your avocado assessment I would wager can't be worse than your fantasy assessment. Get it together EEB!
7b. Lady Luck (3-3) - Last week: 6 - You actually have a decent team. It's a shame outside of your core of 5 players, you have absolutely nobody else. Lack of activity on the waiver wire is going to doom this team. It's inevitable. For the time being, 3-3 isn't a terrible spot to be in, and you arguably have 2 of the top 5 receivers in the league. The ship can be righted.
7c. Stanky Monkeys (4-2) - Last week: 5 - Undoubtedly the luckiest of the 4-2 teams. And that was before the Monday night Rivers implosion. Aaron Rodgers won you this game, and I truly enjoyed watching him ravage Chris over and over again. I must've yelled "HE'S PICKED AGAIN" about 15 times Monday night, because it just kept happening. This team is in good position and any time you have Rodgers going you can't count yourself out. Congrats on the win.
7d. Eat My Asomugha (4-2) - Last week: 7 - Nick makes a lateral move this week from 7 to 7d. I can't believe this team is 4-2. I can't believe this team surely reads Matthew Berry and ignores the candid advice I give him in the blog. Still using Chris Johnson. Still barely cracking 100 points. Still somehow winning. If this team winds up with a first round bye, I'm gonna need therapy. Each week just gets worse and worse.
8. The King's Crusaders (1-5) - Last week: 8 - All alone in the basement of the EFFL standings, and I believe it's deserved after starting 2 Norv coached players Monday night. You're just asking for it. While you do currently have the tiebreaker over EEB as you've indicated to me about 15 times, the week 7 matchup with Fusco is absolutely massive. If you fall to 1-6, 2 games out of the playoffs in the win/loss column, and without a tiebreaker against any playoff team, it could be all over. Officially on the ropes again this year. It's your turn Mr. Fusco to deliver the knockout blow.
EFFL League 2
1. Team Toliver (5-1) - Last week: 1 - Yashar now has the only 5-1 team in the league. Despite being thin at RB, this team has found an outstanding combination at WR. The bench also looks a little thin, but with some solid waiver wire moves, this team should be locking up a playoff spot in the next couple weeks. Tron could have had a bigger day and made life easier for you.
2. The Heads of State (3-3) - Last week: 2 - Solid week by Meech gets him back to .500. I'm still a little concerned about this team's reliance on Eagles players, but they've held up so far. Depth is something I'm always big on, and this team certainly has it. With the bye weeks coming up, he shouldn't miss a beat. I continue to expect big things.
3. Claiborne Supremacy (3-3) - Last week: 4 - A nice move up by Tatz following a nice win. 3 players on this roster left due to injury, but other than Murray shouldn't be in terrible shape. Don't let me talk you out of using more Packers. If Maclin is back healthy, this team could get a huge boost following the bye. It's good to have you focused on a league that doesn't involve your father starting 3 players on a bye.
4. Threeing the Hogs (3-3) - Last week: 5 - I'll give Mike the benefit of the doubt here. Half of his team was on a bye in week 6, and he still put up a pretty respectable total. Going forward, things should look much better. I really wouldn't be all that surprised if this team responded with a massive week 7 performance. This is another team I wouldn't want to hang around. Knock him out.
5. BoSStown Beasts (4-2) - Last week: 3 - A little bit of a stumble here from Cutty. You've pulled an EEB and started double Chiefs. That's always a risky proposition. Still looking OK at 4-2, but this team could be on thin ice during the bye weeks, especially in week 7. I think over the long haul this team will still wind up in the playoffs, but it's gonna be tough to snag one of the byes.
6. Jersey Leshoure (3-3) - Last week: 6 - Ben must be perplexed as to why he's had to read so long to find a blurb about his team. I think your team is too volatile. You have a bunch of players that are busts, yet have not made the necessary moves to overcome them. If this were 2010 or 2011, you might be faring better, but I don't think that the pieces are in place yet to solidify the playoff run. I'm open to reconsideration.
7. RGIII for President (2-4) - Last week: 8 - After starting 2-0, Darryl has gone downhill rather quickly. The glaring hole at RB is very problematic. I actually do like this team more than the ranking indicates, but establishing consistency is what you'll need to make the playoff run. That or RG3 just exploding for 70 yard TD runs every week, which is entirely possible.
8. BABY TEES (1-5) - Last week: 7 - The opportunities are there to get yourself out of this hole, but you need to make some moves quick. Already 2 games out of a playoff spot, it may take 3 or 4 wins in a row to get back into the conversation. May I recommend more Vikings tight ends? I know you're still cursing the Asian girl I had brought in to distract you during the draft.
Good luck to everyone in week 7. Oh, and welcome to the Big 12 Mountaineers
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