Monday, October 16, 2017

Back on the Map



Yo, fuck this! That's now 3 of 14 teams to already have their first round pick lost for the season. And it sucks. I never, EVER draft a QB early. I finally decided to go for it and this is what happens. Sad Aaron Rodgers wheeled off the field for the final time in 2017.

Like a good neighbor... State Farm is thereeeeeeee. With a new collarbone! But it wasn't. I also didn't make that up. Same shit, different year. So many guys constantly get hurt in football. It's inevitable. But I just was not prepared for this.

It's like when Brady blew out his knee in 2008 on week 1 as I puked in a parking lot on Main Street in Newark, DE. Went and saw Finch with Matt at the Troc on Saturday night. Blew my pants off. What a show. After partying all night, I drove down to Grotto's to watch football. I was so fucked up on the turnpike. Don't even know why I went. I got to Grotto's, couldn't even muscle down a beer, watched Brady get bent in half by the Chiefs, ate half a slice of pizza as Matt and EEB laughed at me, then went and threw up in the parking lot and drove home.

I felt equally as sick yesterday. I'd argue that day in 2008 was the last day the NFL saw its best player get knocked out for the entire season. I don't know how to deal with this. I listened to the audio on Red Zone all day and couldn't even watch. But it's to be expected at this point. Just making it a bit more fair for the rest of the league.




Yuu HAVE to watch it with the sound. HAVE TO!


Absolute gold.

Here's some other fun stuff from the weekend:













PUT ME DOWN!!!

One of the things that I've found so crazy thus far is how inconsistent everything has been in the NFL has been. Literally no "expert" or even Vegas, knows what the hell is going on.

From resident oddsmaker TPG, the Delaware Park teasers went 13-11 this week. For reference that's a 12 point window around the spread for each of 12 games. Exactly 1 of the 12 games played Sunday had a final score in that 12 point window.

Look at what the ESPN guys did: http://www.espn.com/nfl/picks  - Straight up, the leader through Sunday had 6 of 13 picks correct. It's just a total crapshoot right now. Atlanta was the first 13+ point favorite to lose straight up in over 5 years.


Beef of the Week: The Steelers are dirty mother fuckers




Here it is in slow motion:



This is absolutely ridiculous. The Steelers always get away with this and there's a play like this almost every single week. Here's Ryan Shazier earlier this year:




There are plenty more like this, but this hit on Alex Smith is absolutely disgusting. Maybe I'm just a bit more sensitive to injuries, but I thought we were finally past the point of guys intentionally trying to hurt other players. We're not. Guy should be suspended for the entire regular season.


Power Rankings

 Things are a bit sorted, but not really. Still looks like the same two at the top with the rest of the field wide open. But first:

Gambino is 5-1!!! Has anybody else seen this?!?!? How is this possible?

1. The King's Crusaders (5-1) - Previous: 1
Despite finally losing, King is still at the top. Following the Chiefs. Hopefully they go in the tank soon.

2. Pork Chop Express (4-2) - Previous: 2
Just beat #1, but so did the Steelers. They're not the best team. Clear top 1-2 in the league as I've said all season.

I'll be honest.. Just wingin it from here on out.

3. Tweeting in the Trenches (3-3) - Previous: 9
Seriously, who knows. Your RB trio is going to carry you. WRs leave a bit to be desired, but with Josh McCown at the helm, nothing to fear.

4. Tequila Party Gnomes (3-3)- Previous: 6
OH CAPTAIN!!! OH HENRY!!! I like the squad! I think your team has the arrow pointing up. Fitz and Cousins are carrying  you. Win turned into a blowout Monday night.

5. Geno 911 (5-1) - Previous: 8
I'm sure this is the highest I've ever had you. I don't believe it. Ertz is a stud though. Losing Odell hurts.

 6. Team BG (3-3) - Previous: 3
I still like your team. The Patriots combo is on fire now. Team has been putting up points. Could have something in Perine.

7. Cash Me Out Wide (3-3) - Previous: 14
I need a special power ranking for you that is outside the rankings. Point total by week: 73, 123, 55, 75, 135, 152. The variance on that is astronomical.

8. Bo$$town Cutter (2-4) - Previous: 5
Fallen on hard times. Outsmarted yourself leaving Carlos Hyde and the win on the bench in favor of Duke Johnson and biased homerism Mike Gillislee.

9. Team Bartholomew (3-3) - Previous: 4
Team age is really starting to show. But I still think your team could easily move up. You've avoided injuries and have 2 of the top 10 players in the league. Tough week with byes.

10. The Old Ball Sack (2-4) - Previous: 11
Team is in the shitter. Can't figure out who to start. Only bright spot is Deshaun Watson, and that run of good luck has to come to an end sometime.

11. Dueling Pylons (2-4) - Previous: 7
Ugh. Nothing more to say.

12. A Lot O'Tatz (1-5) - Previous: 12
Didn't realize how bad things had gotten. Defending champion SHAMED! Olsen is hurt. The Falcons look like trash without Kyle Shanahan. I don't know, man.

13. Stanky Monkeys (2-4) - Previous: 10
Snuck out a win, but things have not gotten better. Sammy Watkins is a ghost. Now Sanders is hurt. Matt Ryan has the same number of picks as INTs.

14. Tiny Hands Bigly Tweets (4-2) - Previous: 13
No way. If this team makes the playoffs, I will be stunned. Put up 71 points and got a win. Now Jameis is hurt too. I have to give you credit. Still picking up wins.


Hope you enjoyed the blog comeback. My apologies for the lapse last week. The standings are CLOSE!
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