Monday, September 26, 2016

Savage Behavior




No need to waste any time. #BillsMafia with a Macho Man Randy Savage elbow drop is just straight fire. I'm pretty impressed. That's a thick table with a thick dude on it. Couldn't have been easy to break.

Lots of exciting things happened in Week 3. Cam Newton out here looking like the Monopoly man:


And it's just crazy. You think you know who's good and who's bad? Then the Bills come out and smack down the Cardinals. The league is wide open this year. And you know Cutter is sitting there thinking the Pats are going 16-0 again.

But how bout the Eagles? They're actually really, really good. Through 3 games they have a +65 point differential. The next best in the league is New England at +36. It's amazing how different a team looks when you get good QB play.



It's just a fun time. I just hope Wentz doesn't have the kiss of death by being on DP. Even more shocking is how the Ravens, who are absolutely awful, are 3-0. I can't believe it. They are +13 in point differential against the Bills, Browns, and Jaguars. Bet the ranch against them. They're a complete mule.


Beef of the Week: Odell Beckham Jr.

This was a long time coming. It's almost embarrassing to watch this guy, and you almost kinda feel a bit sorry for him. He tries WAAAAAAAY too hard to prove to everyone that he's not gay. You know the moment when you clinch your beef of the week:







Opponents are going to pick up very, very quickly that the guy is a complete mental midget and he's easily rattled. You can get him to commit dumb penalties so easy. He's on the sideline fighting a kicking net because he's furious. Blew his top on Elisha and just yelling randomly on the sideline. He's the guy that other teammates look at and instead of "Come on Odell, let's go get them. We got this", it's "psssh, look at this clown acting a fool". He's losing respect around the league quickly.

And I'm not even gonna bring up his tickle fight with Dez, or his tryout for DWTS at Drake's pad over the summer. Just a total loser. And a perfect Giant.



Power Rankings

 We've had a bit of separation this week. Teams




Sorry. We might have some good teams. Let's get it. Also, shoutout Mike Y. HOW COULD YOU CUT R.KELLY?!?!?! That's my Robert, always peein' on people.

14. The Old Ball Sack (0-3) - Last week: 10. Defending chump is back in the doghouse. This is basically what I expected for your team. Maybe not this bad, but at 0-3, this team is a ways from contention.

13. Geno 911 (1-2) - Last week: 14. If Mike Y's team didn't do so poorly, you might've held onto your spot. The Middle East looks wild. I look forward to your snapchat of you in a headdress, which I will save for the lottery next year.

12. Bo$$town Cutter (1-2) - Last week: 13. Le'Veon is back. Brady is almost back. This team is going to look a lot better with those two in the Mixx. I know you have the Jacksons, but be like me and try to enjoy some Johnsons.

11. Harambe Was Set-Up (2-1) - Last week: 9. I don't know, man. I'm a bit concerned with this roster. The Raiders don't have the flash they had last year, and Gronk is screwing you. Things should improve, but tough for now.

10. Team Bartholomew (0-3) - Last week: 12. Winless and without 2 high picks, things are tough. But you have good players still and you're putting up points. Usually that translates to wins.

9. Tequila Party Gnomes (0-3) - Last week: 8. Rodgers is on fire, but needs some help. Would be great if 1st round pick Jamaal Charles got into the action. Like Tatz, putting up points and better days ahead.

8. Pork Chop Express (1-2) - Last week: 11. You love the Cowboys. They don't get to play the Bears every week, but they look decent. ARob also finally showed up, which is good. I do question your depth. Bye weeks are going to be rough, and any injury will be devastating.

7. The King's Crusaders (2-1) - Last week: 6. As I said last week, I was unsure. Leaning a little more towards work needs to be done. Maclin and JT will have better weeks, but consistency may be a problem. Jordy was a great pick. Great pick for me last year too.

6. Tweeting in the Trenches (2-0-1) - Last week: 7. EEB is furious at your luck. No losses through 3 weeks is pretty exciting.

5. Stanky Monkeys (2-1) - Last week: 2.  I think the top 5 could really be in any order at this point. Tough break on Snead. My concern for your team is even more strong. What do you do at RB?

 4. ROLL THE DICE (3-0) - Last week: 3. Barely moving down, but you're certainly in the mix of top teams. Despite a goose from Kelvin, Mike Evans and Marvin Jones stepped up. It's crazy how good Jones has been. Wish I had him.

 3. Dueling Pylons (3-0) - Last week: 5. Pylons are 3-0 for the first time since 2012. A little thin at WR, but with the way RBs are going down, the depth is key. The DJ/AB combo is for real.

 2. Team BG (2-1) - Last week: 4. Never thought a team with Fozzy Whittaker would be #2, but here it is. The run and shoot is working very well, even though Derek Carr has been underwhelming. In a good spot.

 1. A Lot O'Tatz (2-0-1) - Last week: 1. Still up top. Again no reason to move this team, even with losing your 1st round pick. That's how strong this team is. We'll see how you hold up.


Week 4 Matchups
DP v. Stanky Monkeys
Bartholomew v. TITTY
King v. Cutty
Ball Sack v. Harambe
BG v. Lobitz
EEB v. Gambino
TPG v. D-WEEZE

Some big matchups this week. TPG, Gambino, Tatz all need wins or could fall behind. But it's early. 7 teams get in. Looking forward to another fun week.
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