Single dumbest play in the history of football. pic.twitter.com/y5xWRwd7pO
— Sam's Army (@BarstoolSam) October 19, 2015
It's unbelievable that this actually happened in a game. Against the Patriots. As if Belichick needed help. And let's gooooo. Bills are back, baby!!!
So I ask yet again... Anyone wanna go to a Bills game? I need to be part of the #BillsMafia. There's also a picture floating around of a dude in Zubaz peeing with his pants down. Pretty awesome. Didn't wanna put that on the blog in case anyone is reading at work.
I'm in such a good mood right now. It appears I'm going to take down TITTY barring an unbelievable collapse. And the Eagles still have the hope for victory. Time to TURN UP.
Let's get some quick beef in.
Beef of the Week: Aaron Rodgers
I've honestly had enough of this guy. Guy hurries up to the line with 25 seconds left just to yell "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT". "HUT".
SNAP THE FUCKING BALL!!!!! It's absolutely unwatchable. And the guy gets praised for being smarter than everybody else. He's an emotionless robot. I've never seen him smile. I think he's incapable of smiling. Aaron Rodgers may be good at QB Rating and Yards per Attempt, but he's the furthest thing from enjoyable to watch. Put him in the shit QB category for me with Bortles, McCown, and whoever Dallas decides to use.
And I've had enough of the hating on Cro. Guy's got 11 kids or whatever. Yet there they are praising good ol' country boy Philip Rivers. "He and his wife are expecting their 8th child". STOP IT PHIL! You're not the Duggars. Please stop. Can't wait til we have to hear from him how much better a person he is than everyone else.
What's the deal with this Star Wars stuff? Usually Comic-Con or whatever attracts a unique blend of people. Who at Disney thought "Man, I bet a football game is the perfect time for a sci-fi movie preview". Two total different groups of people. Except for Tatz. He's clearly the target audience here.
But how good a game was that Carolina-Seattle game? It's awesome when two good teams play. That might have been the best game I've seen all season. And then to follow that up with Colts-Pats. Bout time we got hooked up. The 1 PM games were brutal, but still. Fun week. Let's get to the power rankings right quick.
And ESPN and NFL Network are spewing all kinds of garbage about this Nolan Carroll pick 6. "This is the first pick 6 in Philadelphia in 19 years". No it's not. I don't have every Pick 6 stored in my memory, but come on. There's visual evidence on Facebook.
Pictured:
- Facebook Ads
- My entire closet emptied following TO's return to Philly in 2006.
- A Reggie Bush jersey
- A racquetball racquet
- Abercrombie bag
- The commissioner buried under this mound somewhere.
Not Pictured:
- TPG puking in a keg bucket.
Woke up the next morning with a fucking coating on the water in the keg bucket. Nastiest shit I've ever seen. You still believe ESPN and NFL Network? Fine. Here's a box score: http://espn.go.com/nfl/game?gameId=261008021
Lito Sheppard 102 yard TD. But you keep telling people that it's been 19 years, NFL Network. I remember that TO game. TPG doesn't. I think that's the most fucked up I've EVER been for a football game. And that's saying something.
Power Rankings
I don't think anyone has anything to worry about at this point. The playoffs cut line is only 3-3 right now. That means everyone except EEB and Cutter is within 1 game of the playoffs. That's fun.
14. ROLL THE DICE (2-4 - Last week 14): Another week and another disappointing outing. I fear Dosh may not recover from this disastrous spot. Finally admitted to me that Peyton Manning is cooked, as I've been explaining since Week 1. But picked up some other QBs that others cut bait on. It might help. How could you trade Mike Evans for that packeege?
13. The King's Crusaders (2-4 - Last week 12): Real rough week. HUT! HUT! HUT! Probably sat there screaming at the TV "GIVE ME SOME FUCKING FANTASY POINTS!!! HIKE IT" TEs look good, but a lot of Chiefs. A lot. I don't think this team has enough firepower at this point. Gonna be tough to get out of this hole.
12. Bo$$town Cutter (1-5 - Last week 13): Moved up a bit, but Phil is crushing everyone. Had probably the game of the season, and it sucks to have to lose that. But you've gotta be encouraged. Martavis and Shady are back. Dez should be back kinda soon. It just may be too late. I guarantee nobody is going to want to play your team at full strength.
11. Dueling Pylons (2-4 - Last week 11): Very well may be behind Cutter, but likewise, this team looks to be improving in the second half. Injuries EVERYWHERE have decimated this squad. Gurley and Christine Michael may be the top 2 running backs in the second half of the season. I'll let you laugh. Going to get destroyed by Cecil.
10. Tequila Party Gnomes (2-4 - Last week 8): Lots of teams have gone in the shitter, but all that means is that the playoffs are very close. Beast mode is back, but was truly no match for Nuk Hopkins and BG's squad. I think this team is right on the outside looking in at the moment, but some wise roster moves could get em back into the discussion.
9. Tweeting in the Trenches (2-3-1 - Last week 4): I'm serious. Look how many teams are right around each others' records. EVERYONE is still in the playoff hunt. My concerns all season are finally creeping through. Got a couple big players, but the complementary pieces don't seem to be delivering. You might have to (gasp) trade Bell or Odell. You can't trade a kicker for good players. I also think it's hilarious that Chris Michael Fusco cut Chris Michael.
8. Team Bartholomew (3-3 - Last week 5): Got a huge win against Dosh, but I'm still concerned. Antonio Brown is doing awful without Big Ben. I'm sure you'll have some big weeks and be right around the playoffs, but I don't think it's as certain as it was.
7. Geno 911 (3-3 - Last week 10): Trust me, I don't think you're in the top 7. I just forgot about your team until now. It's that forgettable. Now looking at it, you might be in the bottom 3. Too late to turn back. Whole team screams AVERAGE. And as much as EEB made fun of you, Golden Tate over Brandin Cooks still doesn't look that bad.
6. A Lot O'Tatz (1-4-1 - Last week 9): I still think you have a solid team, but at some point you have to do something. The good news is that you're only a game and a half out of the playoffs. You're right there. Grudge match with Tatz next week and a HUGE opportunity to get right back into it.
5. The Old Nut Sack (4-2 - Last week 6): I don't know how you've managed a 4-2 record, but you've done it. I guess your team isn't all that bad after all. John Brown, Greg Olsen, and BMarsh all brought it. They may continue to bring it. I'm starting to come around. Looking good.
4. Pork Chop Express (4-2 - Last week 7): Stole Mike Evans from Dosh. The fantasy gods were clearly angered by this treason as your top two receivers were struck down with injury. Huge week. I think it's your ceiling, but it's encouraging. Can't believe you gave up football this week for a fondue party.
3. Stanky Monkeys (5-1 - Last week 3): Nothing against your squad. It's on fire. I looked and thought damn 147 points. He's moving up! Then I saw the 2 teams higher than you scored even more. Randall Cobb isn't even producing and it doesn't matter. You should've seen what you did to EEB with that Ben Watson play. Poor guy was questioning his purpose in life.
2. Team BG (4-2 - Last week 2): Team just unloaded on poor TPG. Everything clicked this week, and it could have been worse. Demaryius dropped a bunch of passes. Team looks a little bit precarious heading into the bye weeks, but I see no reason why this team wouldn't be a contender. Unlike EEB, it's amazing what smart lineup decisions do.
1. Cecil Had It Coming (6-0 - Last week 1): Some people may put 0 stock in the power rankings, but I've had your team #1 all season since week 1. It's amazing that I can properly analyze team strengths, yet can't draft the players that make these teams strong. Can you imagine if your first loss is to the lowly Pylons? I only can dream. This team might lock up a playoff spot by week 8 or 9. That's not out of reach.
Crazy that the regular season has just about hit the halfway point. EVERYONE is still in contention. And that's not an exaggeration. All but 2 teams are within 1 game of the playoffs.
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