Major Concerns in the League

We have our first tie! And of course, again, it's EEB. He picked up some garbage Andrew Luck points on Monday night at the death to equalize. Just remember, all scores are not final until Thursday morning, so if there is a scoring change, the result could be affected.

This was a straight up brutal week of football. It leaves many questioning the state of the game. Has the NFL gone the way of the shit stain? Stinky, and bound to leave a mark. I know there are injuries every year, but this year seems to be almost the worst yet. Romo is out. Cutler is out. Josh McCown perished in last week's blog. Drew Brees may have a shoulder injury. Peyton Manning has a noodle arm. And that's just QBs!

Dez, Jordy, Mike Evans, TY, Alshon, and Kelvin Benjamin are all out or banged up. That's 6 of the 21 1,000 yard receivers from last year. And it's only Week 2! There are so many fucking injuries that the product on the field has become absolute garbage.

Beef of the Week: Stripes with yellow hankies

OMG that Eagles/Cowboys game. There were 26 penalties accepted. There were another 2 declined. That's 28 penalties called in a damn 60 minute game! And assuming not every one of those was only seen by one official, it's fair to estimate that there were 40 penalty flags thrown in the game. That's disgusting. I don't think I've ever remembered turning off a 10 point game in the 4th quarter. It was fucking unwatchable. They need to chill the shit with the flags. I get false start is unavoidable. If a guy's offsides, he's offsides. But the holding and the illegal contact have to go. The game sucks, and I'm actually considering watching RedZone instead for the foreseeable future. But hey, the Bills are back.

http://bustedcoverage.com/2015/09/20/a-season-with-buffalo-bills-fans-burning-brady-jersey-bat-bill-more-puking-week-two/

And they missed some glorious moments:

Can't beat bills fans. Unreal. pic.twitter.com/8KaxcYSnGo

— Jimbo (@RowleyJimmy) September 20, 2015

The Bills are awesome. They suck, but they're awesome. There's truly nothing like that Pats @ Bills game in September every year when the Bills think they're good to go and proceed to get stomped by the Pats. They lost 40-32. Last year they lost 37-22. The year before that 23-21. The year before that 52-28. They actually won the year before that 34-31. The year before that 34-3. It's remarkable. In the last 6 home games against the Pats, they've allowed 217 points, for an average of 36 points per game. Incredible.

I also saw some very interesting stats about Carson Palmer. In his last 16 games, he's 14-2 with 4,500 yards passing and 32 TDs. That's damn impressive. They never play any good teams, but that's beside the point! There are so many bad teams in the league, and as I said, the product has gone way down. Honestly, who's good other than the Pats and Packers? Maybe the Steelers? I don't know if you can even look at more than that and say to yourself, "Man that's a good team!" The only solution is bars and alcohol.

But man, check out THIS catch by Double G's. You might have to click through to peep it.

Let's get to the POWER RANKINGS

14. TWINECTOMY (0-2 - Last week 9): For some reason, I moved Dosh up last week despite him having the fewest amount of points. He responds by starting 3 Wide Receivers who combine for 1 catch. Put up a dismal 68 points and got slapped in the face by The Old Ball Sack. Nobody likes testes to the face, except WWE wrestlers. And dudes who like those things. Scoring just 151 points through 2 weeks is a huge problem. And it's not like it's due to bad lineup decisions either. Might as well go ahead and change the name to Team Boobiak, because nothing makes you happier than picking his players and yelling about what an idiot he is.

13. The King's Crusaders (1-1 - Last week 11): Right back towards the bottom. King texted me in a god damn frenzy, ripping his own team. How could I be so stupid?!?!?!? My team is terrible! Put the King in last in the power rankings. Although you tried hard, we have another team trying harder. Losing to Geno 911 is never a good look. Ever. You know he's gonna put up between 90 and 110 points every single week. That's your target. I traded Luck to get some pieces. Maybe dealing Rodgers or Jimmy Graham isn't the worst thing in the world. At least you have a win under your belt and get Dosh next week.

12. Geno 911 (1-1 - Last week 14): Got a win and moved up, but lost both quarterbacks. Ouch. Actually had a pretty solid week other than that, but my concerns as always are it looks like your team did great, and your point total still wasn't anything to be proud of. I do think there are worse teams out there, and as I said to King, just keep piling up those wins. You unfortunately have it much rougher against the top team in the league. And he could have Foster, Cruz and Jeffery back. Could be in for a rough one.

11. Dueling Pylons (0-2 - Last week 12): Not that this team is really that much better, if at all, than any of the teams below, but can at least see some potential. Scores look a lot different when your kicker and defense combine for 30 points as opposed to 6. And losing a guy to injury during a game is balls. But Gurley is sitting on the bench ready to unleash on unsuspecting defenses. And with some of the young guys getting better, this team looks like it's at least capable of a promising future. But that was always the concern. Would the team be good enough at the beginning of the year? Currently, the answer looks like no.

10. The Old Ball Sack (1-1 - Last week 10): Yet another disappointing performance. Julio can only do so much, and he's done a hell of a lot. He's got 60 of your barely over 200 points in two weeks. But how bout that Matt Jones? I have to imagine... actually, I don't even want to imagine what was going on in the Young household when Jones went off against the Rams supposedly stout run defense. I think there's a pretty big gap between the bottom 4 and this team, but the complementary pieces have to do something. If Julio has a pedestrian game it's going to be a struggle to reach 100.

9. Tweeting in the Trenches (0-1-1 - Last week 13): I swear, man. Every time I knock Fusco down he comes right back up. And this ranking might be a little low. The trio of Brady, Odell and Le'Veon is going to be ridiculous. The bench is pretty bare, but I know Chris couldn't give a shit. He's going to fill his lineup with garbage and watch them go off. I have nothing else to say about this team.

8. Pork Chop Express (2-0 - Last week 2): Turns out, this team isn't what we expected. Largely because the Eagles are so bad. But has the aforementioned Carson Palmer, which is a good sign. Allen Robinson obviously had a career day against me. Keenan Allen, the best receiver in the league, put up 1 point. Abudllah with 1 point. I think this is a good team still, but it's not as dominant as I expected. I want to see consistency, and I haven't seen it yet from this team.

7. Tequila Party Gnomes (0-2 - Last week 6): Ran into a red hot Stanky Monkeys, and that's just balls. Again, similar to PCE, I want to see some consistency. Austin Seferian-Jenkins was a ghost, and Melvin Gordon has started awfully slow. It's a shame that ridiculous Larry Fitz game went to waste. But I think you're in OK shape. The Seahawks are going to just demolish the Bears, so good thing you get the Pylons next week. I'll just go fuck myself.

6. Mo$$town Cutter (1-1 - Last week 8): Missing Dez, Martavis, and Gates is pretty rough. You go into the season all ready to go, and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend. You won't have to start Jerricho Cotchery or Chris Johnson for long. A couple of waiver wire adds, the guys back from suspension, and you'll be fine. Played a team that was scalding hot.

5. Team BG (1-1 - Last week 4): Dropped off a little more than I'd like to see, but you had absolutely no shot this week. It's good to use up those bad weeks instead of dropping 150 and losing. Who would've thought Derek Carr would be clowning Brees? Had a ton of points on the bench, and it's only a matter of time until the lineup decisions sort themselves out. Your receiver trio of Demaryius, Hopkins and Landry is probably the best in the league. I'm not all that concerned.

4. Stanky Monkeys (2-0 - Last week 7): Can't complain with a 2-0 start, and perhaps things ended up better than I initially thought. Edelman may end the season with 200 catches. Huge week, easy win, and very solid team. The lack of big name star power does irk me a little bit, but I think that can be easily overcome. My real concern is the age of the roster. Will they hold up over the length of the season? It also sucks than Ryan Mathews is completely worthless.

3. A Lot O'Tatz (0-1-1 - Last week 5): Pulled off a huge mid-week trade, but it was the other guys that pitched in. Used Doug Baldwin who miraculously scored 22 points. But losing Eddie Lacy hurts a lot, especially when you just dealt some depth. Hopefully for you it's not too long of an injury. You're going to need to start getting some more production before the bye weeks hit. There's also really not much of a gap that I see between here and #8. So I wouldn't feel overly confident with this ranking.

2. Team Bartholomew (2-0 - Last week 3): Got two 0's in the lineup and still put up almost 140. That's unbelievable. I have to say that I'm awful impressed with this roster. I wouldn't be surprised if Gambino isn't eyeing one of those QBs sitting on your bench. Antonio Brown is completely unstoppable. He should've been the #1 pick in the draft. Terrance Williams is now the #1 guy, so he's in a prime spot. Imagine when you get Julius back. Good matchup with BG next week. Definitely one I'm looking forward to.

1. Cecil Had It Coming (2-0 - Last week 1): I haven't played Candy Crush in over 4 months, but damn I might have to get back into it. After dropping 144 last week, put up 178 with a defense getting negative points. And has Foster, Cruz and Alshon sitting on the bench! I was a hater on the Raiders, and I can't believe it worked out. Puts DeAngelo in, gets 30 points. Picks up Dion Lewis, 23 points. Throw in Gronk, Witten and Roethlisberger, and this is your team to beat. Cecil did not have it coming, you monster. And is going to absolutely unload on Geno 911. Might be a 50 points favorite.


Week 3

The teams that are 0-2 are hilarious. And we already have our first toilet bowl in Week 3 with King v. Dosh. If I'm sitting at 0-2 (I am), there are a bunch of good teams that look relentless. But the bubble is weak! Anybody can sneak in as the at-large.

A couple reminders:

- Top 7 make the playoffs, with only first place getting a bye.
- Players cannot be added after 1 PM Sunday. I'm pretty sure everyone is aware at this point, but always helps to remind.

#1 Cecil Had It Coming v. #12 Geno 911
#2 Team Bartholomew v. #5 Team BG
#3 A Lot O'Tatz v. #10 The Old Ball Sack
#4 Stanky Monkeys v. #9 Tweeting in the Trenches
#6 Mo$$town Cutter v. #8 Pork Chop Express
#7 Tequila Party Gnomes v. #12 Dueling Pylons
#13 The King's Crusaders v. #14 TWINECTOMY


Going to 0-3 would be a disaster, yet it's a mathematical certainty for one of TPG and the Pylons.