Where's the blog?!?!? Are you alive?!?!? Yes, I am alive, and I am sorry that the blog had to wait this week. Occasionally real life responsibilities get in the way. I'll try to avoid such nonsense in the future.
You all know what went down. The Eagles absolutely whooped up on the Giants after the Giants did nothing but talk shit all week. JPP said the Eagles could easily be 0-4 instead of 4-1... and then the Daily News has the nerve to run an article that "shows employees cheering the Victor Cruz injury". The picture was snapped within an instant of the ball going over Cruz's head. No way they could know yet that he was injured. I didn't think such garbage slander was posted in legitimate newspapers. But that's fine. A win is a win.
This is just funny to me. Jameis approved.
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It's alarming how many bad teams there are in the NFL. Not like it's a surprise, but it's a complete joke. The Redskins, Rams, Jets, Raiders, Jaguars, and Bucs are a combined 4-30. Of those 4 wins, the Rams beat the Bucs, the Jets beat the Raiders, the Redskins beat the Jaguars, and the Bucs miraculously beat the Steelers on a last second play. If not for that final play, these 6 teams would be a combined 0-28 against the rest of the league instead of 1-27. It's a bad product, and there's not enough talent to go around. But the league will keep shoving this garbage down your throat until you stop watching.
Also funny to me was Julius Thomas scoring a TD against the Jets and screaming "IT'S SO FUCKING EASY". It is, Julius... You're playing the Jets.
You may have gone to sleep Monday night to avoid more garbage Rams in prime time, but Team Toliver finally got their first win of the season in dramatic fashion. A 46 point deficit with Kaepernick and Anquan Boldin against Zac Stacy was not too tall a task. Nobody wants to be winless, but we now have a favorite for 2015 costume wearer.
Beef of the Week: Stadium Fights
This shit has been happening way too often lately. Tailgating is fun as shit. You get to drink all the beer, make runs to a port-o-potty (or use your car door as a shield), and cook frozen meat with absolutely no seasoning. The last time I tailgated, I was chugging Fireball and had chest pains the entire next day. It's a great time. So why at a fucking Packers-Dolphins game is there a parking lot brawl?
What could have possibly been said?!?!?? FUCK YOU MAN! Davante Adams is gonna be a better pro than Jarvis Landry!! I mean these teams have absolutely no connection whatsoever. It's just uncalled for. Unless you get peed on. That's basically it. This just happened in San Francisco. Guy taps other guy on the shoulder to let him know there's a free stall. He winds up partially paralyzed because some cholo in a Frank Gore jersey decides that's worthy of a beating. Keep it civil. I just don't get it. Go to the game, enjoy yourself and come home not in jail or minus some blood.
Things are starting to take shape through 6 weeks as one team has been pushed to the brink already. But there are others not too far behind. Let's get it.
Power Rankings
14. The Smokin' Jays (0-6) (Last week: 14): Another week. Another loss. Actually put together a pretty solid week, but ran into a red hot buzzsaw in EEB. That 42 points is the most Torrey Smith and Larry Fitzergald will combine for the entire season. I guarantee it. 2 year losing streak now at 12 games, and I don't see an end in sight unfortunately. With Mike Y and Tatz in the next 2, 0-8 is a real possibility. Playoffs are almost certainly out of the question, but avoiding the costume is not.
13. Team Toliver (1-5) (Last week: 13): Hooray! Finally picked up win #1 in dramatic fashion. You have Cutter and Sam in the next 3 weeks, so you're not out of this thing yet. Still only 2 games out of a playoff spot with 7 to play, so keep your head up. I'm sorry for texting you. I was not trying to jinx you. At least you have an excuse with all of the injuries. Hopefully your team will start to get more healthy and things will turn around. Don't start Jets. It's a terrible idea. Also, through 6 games, Danny Amendola has a total of 5 fantasy points. And you get points for catches.
12. Tweeting in the Trenches (2-4) (Last week: 9): I don't know what to do with this team. I thought it was bad, then it explodes. I thought it was better, and it's really not. TITTY is the lowest scoring team in the league, averaging just 93 points a game. This team has nothing but Demaryius, and that's the reality. I don't think you're going to make the playoffs without making some moves. I've also received multiple complaints from league members about you carrying too many defenses. Perhaps you can deal one of those.
11. Bo$$town Cutter (2-4) (Last week: 8): Another team I probably had too high last week. I think some of the shine has worn off the Cutter squad. The secondary pieces are just not there. I still can't believe Larry Donnell dropped 30 points on me. I've never heard anyone in my life ever kick themselves over not trading for a kicker until this week. You learn something new every week. I think Sanders will have better games, and I think you're ahead of the bottom 3 teams right now.
10. Dueling Pylons (3-3) (Last week: 12): It appears the Pylons may finally be getting their shit together. Gronk appears his usual self and Mohamed Sanu looks like he could be a keeper. After the Peterson debacle, the Pylons have reconfigured their roster based on one fact alone: Do you date a white girl? Floyd, Sanu and Cooks all fit the bill. This team has faced too much adversity to be involved in any more off the field scandals. Unfortunately, for this team to be a contender, the guys on the bench are going to have to step it up.
9. Pork Chop Express (4-2) (Last week: 11): I didn't think you were going to pull out the victory, but there it is! You should just cut Keenan Allen so you're not tempted to use him. I asked, and you couldn't answer. Why does a guy in San Diego play wearing long sleeves? It makes no sense. I could see your team moving up as the season goes on, but the consistency just isn't there yet. Will be nice to see if Jordan Cameron gets his act together.
8. DA BEARDS (5-1) (Last week: 6): The luck finally ran out this week. To make matters worse, lost Victor Cruz to injury. I think 8 is awfully generous at this point. Rodgers and Lynch should carry this squad, but as I've said all along, where are the other points going to come from. Maybe I'm being naive in not trusting Kelvin Benjamin, but I think you'll remain competitive. The record is not indicative of the strength of this squad I believe.
7. Tequila Party Gnomes (3-3) (Last week: 7): You indicated to me that you'd sacrifice a fantasy defeat to the Pylons for an Eagles win. I appreciate that. I'm starting to get a little bit concerned about TPG. Spiller and the Bengals D combined for -3 points. Foster and Gio are out there killing it, but it appears the Bills well has run dry. I still think there is potential for big weeks ahead, but I want to see something first. Your next 3 opponents are a combined 13-5, so this will be a telling stretch.
6. Geno 911 (4-2) (Last week: 10): I've said it since the beginning. I think Steve Smith might be the steal of the draft. He's unstoppable. As has frequently been the case, he's been outstanding when the team is committed to getting him the ball. Romo sucks. Doug Martin sucks. But I think overall this is an above average team. Given that, #6 sounds appropriate. Also, don't trust Brandon LaFell. Guy is as inconsistent as they come.
5. Big Brother's Bitch (3-3) (Last week: 5): #5 might again be a little bit generous at this point, especially since you just got clowned by Gambino. Had a disaster of a week, but there's nothing you could have done. Things should get better with Brees back, but he's quietly had a pretty disappointing season. Too much Redskins for my liking. As "good" as Andre Ellington has been, he's only had one week with 15 points or more. That has to improve for this team to succeed.
4. The King's Crusaders (2-4) (Last week: 4): I'm starting to waver on the quality of this squad, but going forward I still lean towards this team being better than some right below. Teams have dropped over 125 PPG on you, which is just unfair. McCoy finally got going, but it was at the expense of Maclin. It's fair to wonder whether both can be successful in the same game. Percy Harvin stinks. He's got a total of 74 receiving yards in his last 4 games. But Jordan Reed looked good, so there's something.
3. Stanky Monkeys (4-2) (Last week: 3): I don't think it's any coincidence that the top 3 teams in the EFFL Power Rankings were the top 3 scoring teams in Week 6. The Forte/Jordy combo is absolutely killing it right now. And all of that is without Matt Ryan doing that well. Even better news for you is that the Bills appear fed up with Spiller and are using Fred Jackson like a machine. The guy is gonna be 34 in February, and he's still a top 10 RB. Not even LT did that at that age. Although I'm not sure that having 3 Rams is the way to go.
2. A Lot O'Tatz (4-2) (Last week: 2): Yes, there is a lot o'Tatz at the top of the rankings. Refused to break up the Manning/Julius combo, and that certainly looks like the right move at this point. Julius is only on pace for 29 Touchdowns. If I set a line right now at 19.5 TDs, would anyone dare take the under? TY Hilton looks great, too. You're pretty close to #1 right now, honestly. Let's see a little more consistency from the secondary pieces, and it could happen.
1. Team Bartholomew (5-1) (Last week: 1): I don't know how long DeMarco can do it. Steven Jackson and Kendall Wright combined for 3 points, AJ Green is injured, and still put up almost 150. Now Ridley is out for the year, which opens the door for Shane Vereen. I thought you drafted well, you have the best record in the league,and are right at the top of highest scoring teams in the league. I don't see any reason why that wouldn't continue. And you have this;
Week 7 Matchups
#1 Team Bartholomew (5-1) v. #9 Pork Chop Express (4-2)
#2 A Lot O'Tatz (4-2) v. #10 Dueling Pylons (3-3)
#3 Stanky Monkeys (4-2) v. #7 Tequila Party Gnomes (3-3)
#4 The King's Crusaders (2-4) v. #12 Tweeting in the Trenches (2-4)
#5 Big Brother's Bitch (3-3) v. #14 The Smokin' Jays (0-6)
#6 Geno 911 (4-2) v. #8 DA BEARDS (5-1)
#11 Bo$$town Cutter (2-4) v. #13 Team Toliver (1-5)
Some big matchups this week with playoff implications. King v TITTY and Cutty v Yashar could put a couple teams in a bad way. Best of luck in Week 7. Only a couple more weeks until the playoff preview.
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