Championship Week

We have reached week 16... Championship Week.  After a long, hard season of lineup decisions and trades and 25,000 blog words, we are down to the final week.  Congratulations to Matt, Chris, Mike and Yashar for making their respective championship games.  Mike and Yashar reaching the championship ensures they will both move up to League 1 next year.  Before I get into the recaps and the finals previews, we have some beef to get to.

The Beef of the Week this week is sponsored exclusively by one Norv Turner.  This guy is the most inept coach to ever walk the sidelines.  He's already been informed that he will be gone at the end of the season.  That has not stopped him from sabotaging the fantasy football community at large.  Norv and I go way back.  He's been stabbing me in the back as long as I can remember.  He famously was up 30 points, left his stud LT in the game with 3 minutes left, and demanded he rip off a 40 yard reception to send TPG over the Pylons.

You can read about it here: http://efflblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/gnomes-get-it-done.html

You can read about Norv refusing to throw to the Tight End in 2010 here resulting in yet another goose egg and a Pylons narrow loss:
http://efflblog.blogspot.com/2010/11/whose-turkey-will-be-cooked.html

You can read about Norv's decision to play for OT to screw the Pylons in 2011 here: http://efflblog.blogspot.com/2011/11/pylons-caught-with-pants-down.html

In fact, you can Google "EFFL Blog Norv" and come up with more than 1.8 million results.  But it wasn't until the 2012 playoffs that Norv truly shined.  This past Wednesday, I sent the following email to Matt Atallian: "Somehow I'm using a Chargers player in a playoff game.  Thankfully, Norv speaks to the public during the week... "Coach Norv Turner said defenses are yet to adjust to Danario Alexander".  Might as well just bench him right now.  Nothing like telling your opponent how to gameplan against you"

I knew it was coming, yet I just could not take my own advice.  I started Danario Alexander in all 3 leagues I was still alive in.  He did not catch a ball.   I lost to Fusco by 6, lost in another league by 4, and am on the ropes in the 3rd.  The Chargers completed one pass over 10 yards.  Take a step back and think about just how truly awful that is.  Norv could not go out without giving it to me one last time.  I hate that man with a passion and can only imagine how much money he's cost me over the years.  Good riddance you piece of shit coach.

One can never underestimate the stupidity of a coach when choosing starters.  Whether it be Brad Childress back when Peterson had to tell him to give him the ball, or it be Chan Gailey, who throws a challenge flag like this:

Don't ever underestimate how stupid coaches can be.

RECAPS

Tequila Party Gnomes 147 - The King's Crusaders 98

I have to admit that I'm a little stunned.  Not just that TPG won, but by such a wide margin.  For the first time in a long time, nothing worked out for Woody.  His kicker and defense combined to score fewer points than I did on Sunday.  David Wilson did nothing.  Greg Jennings did nothing.  There was just nothing Chris could have done.  I know TPG is fired up about getting revenge on the King.  It will be TPG's 2nd championship appearance and potential for a 1st EFFL championship.

Tweeting in the Trenches 130 - Dueling Pylons 124

Pretty much everything the Pylons could have done wrong they did.  Whether it be failing to hit submit on the pickup of Dennis Pitta, the use of Danario, or the cutting of the Seahawks defense.  It just all went wrong.  Welker took until after 11 PM to seal the fate of TITTY.  It was 4th and 2... Brady sees something he likes, yells "GOLD WILLIE", and it was inevitable doom.  TITTY had reached the finals and the Pylons were left with yet another year of regret.  One of these years...

Team Toliver 140 - RGIII for President 99

Both #1 seeds took out a weak performance by a #6 seed.  Despite Darryl losing RGIII to injury, it would not have mattered.  Yashar smartly used his boy Yeevie and this one was over early.  Amazing to me that Darryl can drop 160 in 5 separate weeks and then fail to put up 100 in the semis.  Truly a boom or bust team throughout the entire year, and in the end that inconsistency was his demise.  I know your League 2 mates will be sad to see you go.

Threeing the Hogs 164 - Jersey Leshoure 91

Mike Young with a total beatdown of Ben here.  Ben remarkably had 3 players with goose eggs.  Any time 6 players on your team combine to score 15 points, you're fucked.  I'm sure at some point Mike was hoping that his players didn't use their good games too soon.  This team was a force to be reckoned with in Week 15 and has proved throughout the season that it is certainly worthy of League 1.

RELEGATION

Stanky Monkeys 255 - Coach Janky Spanky 220

This had been in the works for a long time this season.  EEB has been on a roller coaster all year.  He refused to believe he had a terrible team.  Then, he was terrible.  Then, he won a couple games.  Then, he thought he was going to win a championship.  Then, he was eliminated from the playoffs by his boy Pierre Garcon.  Then, he was relegated.  Lou came through and will remain in League 1 in 2013 while EEB moves down to League 2.

Here are some quotables in reaction to this news:

"Although we lost today, we will all be winners in August watching EEB draft in League 2" - Chris Woody
"At least a Woody can't win" - Eric Brooking
"He's out!!!!!!!!!" - Matt Atallian
"I don't want EEB" - Adam Tatz

There is a direct correlation between 2013 League 2 members and alcohol consumption at the draft.  It was a good run, but I am glad I get to enjoy Lou's drafting for yet another year.

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK

Tequila Party Gnomes vs. Tweeting in the Trenches

This is TPG"s second championship appearance and the first for TITTY.  We do know that one of these teams will win their first championship.  Until Week 6 of this year, Fusco had never beaten Matt.  You have to expect that this will be another high scoring game.  These teams have both been near the top of the league in scoring all season, and it has continued into the playoffs.  I've thought for the entire season that Fusco's stable of receivers would be tough, and it has proved true thus far.  I think TPG is going to fall short, and TITTY will be crowned League 1 champion.

Commish's Pick: Tweeting in the Trenches

Team Toliver vs. Threeing the Hogs

These two teams have been at the top of the standings all season.  While neither faced much resistance in week 15, each put up a very strong, championship worthy performance.  Yashar and Mike Young have had great battles dating back to the ABC league, and Yashar recently referred to Mike as his kryptonite.  At some point that streak has to be snapped.  I like what I've seen from both of these teams.  Yashar has come through with huge wins all season.  I think it's his year.

Commish's Pick: Team Toliver

PROMOTION BATTLE

Jersey Leshoure vs. RGIII for President

Just a quick blurb about this 3rd place game.  Although there is some additional money at stake here, the winner will be promoted to League 1 next season.  The loser will remain in League 2.  Ben knocked off Darryl twice this season and will look to complete the trifecta.  I think Bob Griffin comes back this week, and I think he leads Darryl to victory.

Commish's Pick: RGIII for President


It has been a fun ride.  After all the dust has settled I will send out a final sheet with possible keepers and rosters for 2013.  Good luck to everyone in Championship Week.