Replacements Can't Stop Pylons

Everyone wants in on the Pylons

By now, you have surely had some complaints about the replacement refs.  Vegas even responded and added an extra half point to the home teams because these scabs couldn’t handle the pressure of a raucous crowd.  If you stayed up and watched the Monday night game, I’m sure you were equally as appalled as the rest of the country.  Apparently over $150 million in bets were reversed by the final play which gave the Seahawks the win.  That’s alarming.

Clearly, after being ecstatic that I didn’t lose a RB to injury in week 2, I was struck by injury in week 3.  Note to all you league owners.  When you make fun of your opponent for losing a player to injury, the fantasy gods do not take kindly to these actions.  Gambino will plummet in the rankings.  Also, the Dueling Pylons are now the only remaining undefeated team in the league.  It will be interesting to see how long this run can go.

There was a lot of internal debate over what my “Beef of the Week” would be, but after looking at all of the facts, this one is personal.

Eric Brooking.  You have been called out on the blog numerous times in the past.  When it comes to dealing with Woody, you always seem to shit the bed.  You are now 1-7 against him historically.  You chose to bench your boy Jamaal Charles, despite the Saints being the absolute worst defense in the league.  They allowed over 30 fantasy points per game to running backs in the first 2 weeks.  Somehow this fact went unnoticed.  A fantasy expert would have made the right call, and your credibility is in serious doubt.  You could have sent Chris to 0-3.  But you panicked.  Reactive vs. Proactive… the key to fantasy success.

Side beef… Bud Light Fantasy Football.  These clowns have a reasonably decent idea.  Drink beer, enter a code, build a fantasy football team for prizes.  After 9 beers Saturday, I entered the codes only to be left with 5 kickers and 4 defenses.  Couldn’t even get a position player.  This makes me want to drink less Bud Light, not more.  If they had this game for good beer, I would be an even bigger drunk than I already am.

This weekend featured a lot of drinking for me.  I have now contracted some form of illness, but it was worth it.  If you are ever in the Morristown, NJ area, check out the Grilled Cheese Factory.  Despite being pretty blacked out, I remember it being amazing.  Also, my new favorite song is Ne-Yo’s “Let Me Love You”.  Unrelated to football, but absolutely is a rager.

The week 3 high score was won by Yashar.  A furious Monday night push from Tatz was not enough to overcome the top score.  League 2 has won the high score prize in all 3 weeks.  Take away from that what you wish.

EFFL League 1

1. Dueling Pylons (3-0) – Last week: 1 – #1 team remains undefeated despite a subpar week.  Decided to throw Nick a bone by starting Brandon LaFell and still came out victorious.  Losing Spiller hurts, but the depth at RB makes this loss easier to overcome.  Huge game from Torrey Smith shows lots of promise for this squad.  Still deserving of the top spot.  A 3-0 team has never missed the playoffs, so at this point the Pylons may already be clear of avoiding relegation.

2. Tequila Party Gnomes (2-1) – Last week: 2 – As expected, TPG downed the Stanky Monkeys without too much resistance.  The one thing that will challenge this team, other than the Pylons, appears to be injury.  This team has a lot of injuries right now, and with bye weeks approaching, things may be a little shaky.  #1 vs. #2 this week will be a great matchup.

3. The King’s Crusaders (1-2) - Last week: 6 – A lot of close competition after the top 2, and at this point it is the King who gets this spot.  Still tons of question marks at RB, but the ceiling on this team is far higher than the others.  Finishes with a tough schedule, so the next couple weeks will be a strong sign of where this team ends up.  I’m surprised at how well AJ Green has done, but he’s definitely a superstar.

4. Coach Janky Spanky (1-2) – Last week: 4 – Nothing special here.  Poor lineup decisions will hamper this team all season.  I swear EEB has the same exact team every year.  He has never won with these guys yet continues to employ them.  Could easily be interchanged with a number of teams, but has a slight edge right now.  A loss to Sam in week 4 would just be an added slap in the face.  Get it together.

5. Tweeting in the Trenches (0-3) – Last week: 5 – Another season for Fusco in which he must dig himself out of a hole.  I was notified that a loss to Lady Luck would result in a team name change, and I’m excited to see what he comes up with.  Left 133 points on the bench, but he should see better days.  I still like this team, and the 8 team format gives this team more time to get back into playoff position.

6. Eat My Asomugha (2-1) – Last week: 3 – High score was a defense by a wide margin.  Extreme overconfidence resulted in serious consequences.  Thank you for posting to Facebook your 2-0 start.  We all know leagues are won in the first 2 weeks.  Here are the facts: you were low score in week 3.  You were 2^nd low score in week 1.  If this were my team, I’d feel lucky to be ranked #6 in these rankings.

7. Lady Luck (2-1) – Last week: 7 – Dead last in scoring, yet sits at 2-1.  What else is new?  This team seems way too thin to make noise, but all bets are off if you make the playoffs.  Could have Forte back soon, which would be a big boost.  Matchup with Janky Spanky this week is certainly going to make me laugh.  I’m expecting another Sam victory and more EEB despair.

8. Stanky Monkeys (1-2) – Last week: 8 – What is up with Aaron Rodgers?  This team had so much potential.  A strong week from MJD is a nice takeaway, but who knows what to expect out of the Stanky Monkeys.  Ryan Mathews fumbling issues are coming to a head, and relying on a Norv Turner player is never a smart idea.  Will be a total embarrassment to lose to a winless Fusco in week 4.

EFFL League 2

1. Team Toliver (2-1) – Last week: 5 – Please get a team name.  Perhaps “Yeevie” for your boy and mine Stevie “Silky” Johnson.  His TD dance was legit.  This is the highest scoring team across both leagues, and despite my harsh rankings previously, is now deserving of the #1 spot.  This team has depth and superstars across the board.  You’ll have to come out for Sunday football soon.

2. The Heads of State (1-2) – Last week: 3 – Another loss, yet another jump in the rankings for Big Meech.  The Vick/DeSean combo screwed you big time, yet still put up over 120.  This team may be even scarier than Yashar’s, but lineup decisions have been difficult.  I loved this team when it was drafted, and I still feel the same way.  I think this team is a serious contender for top spot when all is said and done.

3. Claiborne Supremacy (2-1) – Last week: 7 – I had a really tough time distinguishing between the middle teams.  Tatz had a huge week and that’s without the services of Maclin and Greg Jennings.  I think this team will certainly hang around for awhile.  Are they the third best team?  To be determined.  But as is customary, this team is playing the best of the rest right now.

4. Jersey Leshoure (1-2) – Last week: 4 – No word from Ben this week, but odds are he was found in the fetal position by a bottle of Beefeater.  He is absolutely going to need more than 30 points per week from Cam, Andre, and Jordy.  This team still has potential, but he has to get it together sooner than later.

5. RGIII for President (2-1) – Last week: 1 –A huge drop after a monster week 3.  Followed up a 180+ point effort by scoring less than 80.  The good news is this is probably the low of all lows.  Your bench also consists of Eli Manning and 7 running backs.  You may want to do something to address that.  Still 2-1 and in good shape, but don’t let week 4 become a trend.

6. Threeing the Hogs (1-2) – Last week: 2 – Mike Y is in free fall.  His team of superstars is not coming through.  This really puts into question the laptop theory in which best player available is mathematically calculated.  On paper, good.  In reality, mediocre.  The laptop theory only works when everyone else is also using a laptop.  I think better days are ahead, but I’m definitely not as high on this team as I once was.

7. BABY TEES (1-2) – Last week: 6 – As expected, Dosh finally got on the board with his first win.  I continually look at his roster and wonder how he does it, but every year seems to be the same thing.  Perhaps it’s the activity on the waiver wire, but I believe this team is truly one of the best at making lineup decisions.  Despite being #7, there is room for improvement.  Don’t count this team out.

8. Team Cutter (2-1) – Last week: 8 – What if Jamaal Charles doesn’t drop 40 points?  This team seems like it should be much better, but perhaps the same path is enough.  I think this is your Gambino squad of League 2.  Puts up a decent amount of points but never has a monster week.  Please get a team name.  I don’t care if it’s Gisele’s Boy Toys.  I don’t care if it’s Vaginal Hubris.  Just please.  Congrats on 2-1.

The EFFL history sheet has been updated through Week 3.  It’s been a fun ride thus far, and I fully welcome any smack talk you want to send to the lone undefeated team.  League 1 is going to win the high score one of these weeks.  Good luck in week 4 to everyone.