As is usually the case in the EFFL, the 6 seeds were not settled until Monday night. Due to an explosion from Philip Rivers, I am able to write the blog earlier than planned. We can talk about the NFL all we want, but at this point everyone is focused on the real league... the EFFL. Fusco, Lou, Jimish and Nick... unfortunately it wasn't meant to be this year. It seems injuries and awful drafting doomed you 4. Fusco is now 0 for 3, and has never made the playoffs since joining the EFFL. Lou has missed the playoffs for the first time since 2006, which I'm sure is very satisfying for many owners. It's a shame for the other two that players just did not take off as expected. Beast Mode did not begin until week 10, which is a severe problem when the regular season is only 13 weeks long. Although he does love his Skittles.
Here is what the playoffs look like:
1. Tequila Party Gnomes (9-4)
Despite losing their final 2 games, TPG can't be all that concerned. I was notified that there was a players only vacation in week 13 which would explain the lack of defense. And with a bye in week 14, the players should be well rested for the semifinals. Having Peterson back will be a huge boost as well. One thing which I'm sure TPG will be ecstatic to read is that this team cannot face King until the finals. Will face EEB if he manages to pull the upset, or the winner of Pylons-Masons with a King victory. Also personally thanking BG for knocking off Sam and locking up the $30 prize for best record. Congratulations on your #1 seed and first round bye. We'll see you in week 15.
2. Lady Luck (8-5)
True to form, Lady Luck has limped into a bye. This team lost 5 of their last 7 and is just playing awful right now. But starting 6-0 certainly goes a long way, and this team should have a week to rest up players battling injury. Returning Ahmad Bradshaw and Miles Austin is going to be big. Believe it or not this team averaged 140 points per game over the first 6 weeks, and this team could find magic at the right time to make a run. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. I also don't know how I feel about an all Woody semifinal. It would guarantee one is eliminated, but it would also guarantee one in the finals. Somebody else needs to take this trophy.
...and for the first round matchups:
#3 The King's Crusaders (8-5) v #6 Coach Janky Spanky (7-6)
My how the mighty have fallen. After 7 weeks Janky Spanky was 6-1. He was spewing his usual talk of how this league is so easy, his team is so good, and it was only a formality before he hoisted the trophy. After looking completely mediocre over the final 6 weeks perhaps EEB has reconsidered his stance. You were named Norv of the week for excellence in coaching ineptitude. Yet all of this occurred before you committed the most cardinal sin in fantasy football. You got shitfaced and executed a final hour trade with King. After claiming all season long how you liked your 3 back approach, you caved and traded the leading rusher in football for Antonio Brown and Cedric Benson.
The fantasy gods did not react well to this deal. They had blessed you with a chance this year, and you spat in their face. And wouldn't you know it, week 13 right before the playoffs start, your beloved Matt Forte goes down with a knee injury, you lose to Gambino, and you're stuck facing the man you just traded with in an elimination game. This was inevitable. I hope before you prepare for this matchup you take a long hard look in the mirror. Drinking and trading with Woody is against EFFL law. I'm predicting a quiet end to the Janky Spanky season and look for King to move on.
#4 Dueling Pylons (8-5) v #5 The Stone Masons (7-6)
This is exactly what I didn't want. A playoff game against Tron. The Masons needed to secure a victory to get in the playoffs and came through in a big way. I believe at one point I received a text that was along the lines of "Take that Manly Luck". Wrong. Believe it or not the Pylons have dominated the Masons over the years, with an 11-2 record. The Masons defeated the Pylons once in 2005 and once in 2009, that's it. Although history is on the side of the Pylons, it really doesn't mean much when it comes to elimination. Of those 13 games, none has been in the playoffs and none will be bigger than the matchup this week. This is the first time the Masons have made the playoffs since 2007.
Honestly I'm shook. I had this team at either #1 or #2 in my power rankings all season, but that was before Fred Jackson went down with injury. You can only be a violater of the #1 rule in fantasy football for so long... No past or present Bills. Roy Helu could prove to be a huge pickup down the stretch. The Pylons have been riding the Tebow wave, and perhaps it can't continue. But winning 8 of 9 to enter the playoffs is a pretty incredible streak, and the Pylons have been doing it with big weeks. I think the Pylons will prove to be too much and advance to face the Gnomes again in week 15.
Good luck to the 4 teams playing this weekend. Big rivalries should prove to be outstanding games. This may be the final blog of the season with a happy tone, so I hope you enjoy.
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