I know this is the blog you all have been waiting for. We can officially say the Pylons have been eliminated. I am blogging with tears in my eyes wondering what could have been. With just one more win, it would have been the Pylons, not the Gnomes, who had the first round bye. But it was not meant to be. Instead I am left eating an early dinner of barley and hops, hoping to wash away the sorrows of a 7th season with an empty trophy case. I usually do not do a finals preview due to the lack of interest around the league, but we will see what kind of mood I am in next Monday. While this is a tough loss to swallow, losing to a Woody or Gambino would have been far worse. Here is what transpired in week 1 of the playoffs.
The Stone Masons 129+ - Dueling Pylons 126
I'm sure both of these teams expected a high scoring affair. The Masons came out on fire, as at 1:05 PM the Lions defense had already scored a Touchdown. By 2, they had gone in again, as had Shady McCoy. It looked like the Masons were well on their way to an easy victory. But the Pylons fought back. Rob Gronkowski did his best to keep his squad in it. Ultimately, it was Pylons #1 nemesis Eli Manning who caused the most damage. Eli was responsible for eliminating the Pylons back in 05, and 6 years later, nothing has changed. I still do not know how an Eagles fan can root for Eli in any situation, so more power to you. Only twice in league history has a team scored more in the playoffs and lost. I know you didn't mean it when you said my team was terrible. The Pylons are loaded in the keeper category, so expect this team to be a serious factor in 2012. It's going to be a long off-season.
The King's Crusaders 158+ - Coach Janky Spanky 115
Last Monday night, seeding had still not been determined. Chris was rooting for Philip Rivers. I was rooting for Philip Rivers to score exactly 19 points. There was a general consensus around the league... "I want to play EEB". This was the exact reason. Janky Spanky has been on a downward spiral since midseason, and not even Antonio Brown could stop it. I warned you. I told you. Even after Brown scored 26 Thursday night, I told you not to get ahead of yourself and just wait til MJD drops 40 on you. What did you do?? You got drunk again and called me shitfaced to say "Fuck Woody". Just because you're intoxicated doesn't mean the fantasy gods are. They hear everything. I'm sure after coming up empty in all your serious leagues, you'll take some time to reflect this offseason and think about what you've done.
So only 4 teams remain, and this means again this year I am forced to write a check to a Woody. This has to stop. Please. It's so bad, I seriously contemplated (and at the last minute scratched) a line from my best man speech at Chris' wedding. It read, "Andrea, I'm happy I can finally write a check to a Woody I like".
Here's where we stand:
#1 Tequila Party Gnomes v #5 The Stone Masons
It's safe to say I am pulling for the winner of this one to win it all. Early indications are that Adrian Peterson will play, but it will be a big factor if the Gnomes are not at full strength. Brady against Tebow would have been a great game to watch. I'm a little skeptical if the Masons can keep up the big week 14 performance as Tron has gone completely missing over the last couple weeks. The Masons are going to need a big game from him if they want to take down the #1 seed. With Money Mike Wallace going Monday night, this could well come down to what some say is the fastest receiver in football. The Gnomes have been preparing and waiting for this game which seemed like it would never arrive. I look at the roster top to bottom and I like what I see. I think TPG comes through and moves on to the championship game.
#2 Lady Luck v #3 The King's Crusaders
Things have fallen pretty nicely for Chris of course. Got to face EEB in round 1 and now the worst of the 6 playoff teams in round 2. The good news is one of these teams will be eliminated. The bad news is quite obvious. Chris is looking to make his 5th consecutive EFFL final. I don't know how this happens (right EEB?), but things always seem to fall into place at the right time of year. Sam's team has actually rebounded a little bit, but I have no idea how you go through a season with Jared Cook at TE and think that's a good idea. This team is going to put up 130+ or score about 80, and it's totally up in the air which it will be. This should actually be a fun game to watch as Ray Rice, Ravens D and Cundiff will go against Mathews and Vincent Jackson on Sunday night. I really don't see Sam winning this game... I would be shocked. And it will be up to either Matt or BG to prevent another shaming of the league trophy.
I wish I was still playing, but it was just not meant to be. Praying with Tebow was not enough. Good luck to you 4 in Week 15.
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