I know I haven't ripped Scott Hanson enough this year. I'm sorry. He's got at least 4 gems each week that make you think "how is this guy still on air?" This week was a great one. Bears player fumbles at the goal line and John Fox challenges the runner got into the end zone. Turns out, he screwed himself and it resulted in a turnover.
Hanson, meanwhile, was not having any of it. Commenting on the challenge, your on-air host quips "this is becoming one of the most IRRITATING plays in all of football. It seems we have one of these plays every week." The dude fumbled before reaching the goal line. The ball came out of his hands and hit the pylon. Clear touchback. How is that irritating.
At another point he also apologized to the audience for "laying the sarcasm on too thick". Dude is such a clown. I hope NFL Network goes with someone else next year.
Anyway, on to more important things:
If you ever want to become a millionaire, just move to Buffalo and open a store that only sells tables #BillsMafia pic.twitter.com/SaL24EIvCX— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) November 12, 2017
I've been waiting for this all season. A power bomb from a black guy in Bills Mafia. This is the best video all season. There was also a streaker in Buffalo! It's exactly as you'd expect. An extremely hairy guy that looks like he went to WVU. I'm not posting that here.
CATCH OF THE YEAR!@Maurice3Harris with the absolute highlight reel nonsense for the #Redskins touchdown! pic.twitter.com/Tnpf2rHFFD— Chad Ryan (@ChadwikoRCC) November 12, 2017
— Mjcomer31 (@Mjcomer31) November 12, 2017
Pineapple Man is happy. #Titans pic.twitter.com/MopmS42P32— FrankStrovel (@FrankStrovel) November 12, 2017
Guy goes to every home game dressed as a damn pineapple!
CATCH OF THE YEAR!@Maurice3Harris with the absolute highlight reel nonsense for the #Redskins touchdown! pic.twitter.com/Tnpf2rHFFD— Chad Ryan (@ChadwikoRCC) November 12, 2017
Brock Osweiler is back:
Brock Osweiler just drilled some poor guy in the head pic.twitter.com/jXte8EX7NQ— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) November 13, 2017
That's pretty much all that happened this week. I'm still not buying Rams as legitimate. I think the league is wide open.
Beef of the Week: ESPN Fantasy App
In the most obvious and deserved BOTW ever, ESPN decided at some point this week "hey, we mandate users watch an ad for 15 seconds on desktop. We're missing an opportunity on mobile!"
You open the app. BAM! Immediately you have to watch a full length movie just to see your fantasy score. This is a terrible idea. It takes all of 10 seconds to check your fantasy score. Watching a 15 second ad in order to use the app for 10 seconds makes no sense whatsoever.
Why do something that is just guaranteed to piss off every single one of your users? So stupid.
Bonus! I will have pictures and video from Saints tailgate for the blog next week. Also, remember that nobody can be kept that is added after this week.
It's time to flip over to the playoff standings, because things are so wide open.
10 teams (10!) have either 5 or 6 wins. 2 more teams have 4 wins. This is going to come down to Week 13. It's a mathematical certainty.
6-3-1
The King's Crusaders
Tiny Hands Bigly Tweets
Teams with the same record, tied for first, but with unbelievably different rosters. Phil keeps pulling out wins. Woody keeps trying to live up to the early season dominance. Did he peak too soon? Have the rookies hit the wall? It seems like there's no way Woody can miss the playoffs. Phil could still qualify, as he's a game and a half up. 1 more win may be enough. 7-5-1 usually gets in.
6-4
Pork Chop Express - Finally got it together. Wentz, AB, Thomas, and Diggs is going to be tough down the stretch.
Tequila Party Gnomes - Another team putting their money where their mouth is. DeAndre Hopkins is an absolute stud. Didn't realize just how many points he's scored.
Geno 911 - Actually has good players. Usually near the bottom in points, this team can seriously make the playoffs and make some noise.
Team Bartholomew - Seems like every week someone steps up. Over the mid-season struggle, and seems to be poised for a stretch run. Tough final 3, however.
5-5
Cash Me Out Wide - Most inconsistent team in the league. Puts up 140 one week, puts up 80 the next. This type of team is always dangerous yet rarely wins it all.
Tweeting in the Trenches - Hasn't really found the magic yet and has work to do. Freeman is concussed. Russell Wilson is concussed. Murray is wearing down. The Bears suck. Where are the points coming from?
The Old Ball Sack - Jarvis Landry saved you in garbage time. I won't complain because I needed the help. Still think this team is leaning more towards out than in.
Team BG - Rough loss against Mike Y. King, DP, and TITTY to bring it home is not going to be easy. Don't worry though. The rain's gonna wash it away, I believe it.
4-6
Dueling Pylons - 4th in points scored. 11th in the standings. What else is new? Took a number of brutal losses this season. Should put up points, but will it be enough.
A Lot O'Tatz - UJ threw water on your boner, and you're running out of options. Phil and Cutter before a showdown with the King could keep you in it.
3-7
Bo$$town Cutter - On his last legs. One more loss will officially eliminate you. Must win out to even have a shot. Not looking good.
2-8
x - Stanky Monkeys - It was a rough 2017 for Lou, and this team has been officially eliminated from playoff contention. Cracked 100 points in 3 of 10 weeks. We'll see you at the draft next year.
So with 3 weeks to play, we know... nothing! 7-6 almost definitely will be good enough to get in with everyone beating up on each other. 6-7 may even be enough, but we'll see.
The Patriots are also "at Oakland" in Mexico City, so YO SOY FIESTA!
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