While a significant portion of the league is in a severe battle for a playoff spot, TPG sits at the top of the standings preparing to spend the $30 prize for league best record. A stiff 83 point test from Lady Luck ensured that the winning streak continued. But we stand at a severe, severe crossroads in the standings. I have never seen such a bunch of teams with so few weeks to play. Usually there's at least 2 or 3 teams that look to have a spot locked up with 3 games to play but that is not the case. It looks like 6 teams will be fighting for 5 playoff spots. Who will be left out? We all hope it will be a Woody but it will most likely be me. Now, that doesn't mean the bottom three teams are out of it, but there is a massive mountain to get over.
The trade deadline is quickly approaching. You must complete all deals by next Wednesday
night as I will not be rigging the ESPN system to accommodate another Woody to
Woody deal. Let’s also discuss
tiebreakers, because at this point we may end up seeing a six-way tie. Before any tie for a playoff spot is broken,
the division winners are crowned.
Once the top two seeds are settled, the remaining teams are
then thrown into the wild card pool. If
it is simply a two way tie, head to head is the first tiebreaker followed by
most total points scored in the regular season.
If it is more than two teams, however, things get a little
trickier. If one team owns the
tiebreaker over all other tied teams, they are then ranked first. If not, most total points are used to
determine the highest ranked team. Once
a team is chosen from the wild card pool, revert back to the beginning sans
Dennis Green to determine the next team.
Seems pretty straightforward.
Norv of the Week: Eric Brooking
This is the first non-NFL affiliated recipient. Mike Smith would have been the obvious
selection, so I needed to get more creative here. I’m sure this selection will bring about much
rage, but trust me it is well deserved.
Benching the Bears defense in favor of a 49ers squad proved to be a
pivotal blunder, and I may even argue blunder of the year. When I presented this possibility to Mr.
Brooking, he consulted his dictionary to tell me I was using the word blunder
wrong. I was told that blunder meant
“stupid mistake”… I find it hard to argue that I was using it incorrectly.
Some statistical systems would have easily identified that
the Niners D is mediocre at best against respectable quarterbacks. Even more advanced systems would have
identified that the Bears D has scored almost 15 points per game at home over
the past year and a half. THE BEARS ARE
WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!! AND YOU LET HIM OFF THE HOOK!!!! Again, a failed
attempt at defeating a Woody squad from an EFFL youngster. This is the statistical foresight I thought
Mr. Brooking possessed. Clearly, I made
a blunder.
This will be the final strictly power rankings for the 2011
season. There is no playoff preview
because basically nothing can be determined in week 11 with 6 teams within a
game of each other. Teams barely moved
in week 10:
* 1. Tequila Party Gnomes (8-2) – Last week: 2
The Gnomes take over the top spot after completing a 6 game
winning streak over the hapless Luck. And,
after careful calculation, it has been determined that the Gnomes have officially
locked up a playoff spot, so congratulations.
This team has talent up and down the lineup which is living up to its
potential. The Gnomes can even lock up a
bye in week 11. The Gnomes have actually
never won more than 8 games in a season, including playoffs, so this has been a
historic year. I look forward to a
potentially meaningless week 13 matchup.
2. The Stone Masons (6-4) – Last week: 1
The Masons drop from the top spot for the second time this
season. The last time I did this, the
result was a 179 point explosion.
Probably not the best time to do it considering I’ll be dealt the brunt
of this blow. The FJax/Shady/Tron trio
is the best in the league so this team is always a threat to be at the
top. The complementary pieces need to
step up though so that this team is not left stunned in a down week. Could easily be #1, but faces a critical matchup
in week 11.
3. Dueling Pylons (6-4) – Last week: 3
The Pylons have earned their place near the top of the
rankings with impressive performances over the last month. They have matched the Gnomes stride for
stride with a W6 and have been the highest scoring team in the league over the
course of that streak. If only the
league could have started at week 5.
Still, they are only one game ahead of missing the playoffs and with the
two best players on a bye in week 11, in addition to multiple injuries, things
could get interesting.
4. Coach Janky Spanky (6-4) – Last week: 4
I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt here despite not
showing me anything for the past few weeks.
Yes, even Gambino has scored more than you over the past 3 weeks. I still see the potential here, but
complaining about Matt Forte’s 19 touches will not get you anywhere with the
ranker. No Brees and no Graham in week
11 could prove to be a problem. Is it
conceivable to think that the highest scoring team in the league may miss the
playoffs two years in a row?
5. The King’s Crusaders (5-5) – Last week: 5
Managed to escape with a victory Monday night. Thankfully the Packers didn’t bench Rodgers
earlier than they did. I’m still torn on
this team because there are so many underachievers, yet the waiver wire has
been extremely kind to the King this year.
I know you have been itching for a blog for awhile, but I have nothing to
say about your team that you don’t already know. This is a week to week adventure, and I’m
really not sure if this team can string together enough wins to make a
championship run. Needs a win
desperately in week 11 to keep pace or must face elimination at the hands of
the Pylons in week 12.
6. Tweeting in the Trenches (5-5) – Last week: 6
This team is pretty much here by default. Barely got a win over the Masons, but it was
a big one. Fusco still is searching for
his first playoff berth and must dispose of Lady Luck in week 11. This team is right up there with the Masons
and Gnomes in terms of potential, but unlike them, has rarely achieved it. I’m pulling for you, but I think it’s time
you get your act together, stop decorating, and focus on fantasy football. Take that sack back and get a handful of
TITTY.
7. Stanky Monkeys (3-7) – Last week: 7
I used to be happy that the Monkeys were down and out, but
now I’m just starting to feel bad.
Nobody should have to deal with losing their top 3 draft picks for a
significant portion of the season.
Finally put together a good week and ran into the red hot Pylons. Sorry about that. Believe it or not, the Pylons actually went a
period of 4 years without defeating the Monkeys, but that is ancient history at
this point. The tables have turned, and
the Monkeys will be on the outside looking in with a loss and either King or
Titty win. At least with keepers, we
know the Stanky Panthers will be back next year.
Perhaps the quote of the year was received from the King this week: “3-7 Monkeys. Nasty. I don’t care just want to make the playoffs myself. Although if I had to spend time watching the playoffs from my couch, I’d want the Monkeys sitting next to me”. I forgot how intense that rivalry was.
8. Animals With Eyepatches (3-7) – Last week: 8
Unfortunately could not take down league cupcake FDS, and is
now most likely headed for the chopping block.
I have purchased two first class seats for the Eyepatches and Monkeys on
a boat home. You joined me at 0-4 this
year, but the turnaround just didn’t happen.
Front office backlash hampered this team this year, as the starters were
routinely incorrectly chosen. I do beg
of you, do what the “men” before you could not.
Defeat Chris, and do the league a service. I know it happens rarely, but it can be
done. Burger King has canceled that
clown in a bathrobe. Cancel the King’s
season as well.
9. Lady Luck (6-4) – Last week: 9
This team is hanging on by a thread to avoid being in the
bottom spot. After a 4th
consecutive loss, this team could miss the playoffs despite starting 6-0. I didn’t think this was actually possible,
but it may come to fruition. This team
needs at least two, perhaps three, waiver wire additions to even field a team
this week v TITTY. I don’t know how you
put yourself in that position, but to make matters worse QB Matt Schaub is lost
for the season. If this team makes the
playoffs, I’d say there was some small miracle.
The NFL says Suck for Luck… I say Luck for Suck.
10. First Down Syndrome (2-8) – Last week: 10
It only took until just about Thanksgiving, but this team
finally has its second win. This team
has only scored 115+ a total of one time all season. Brutally bad.
I will say in all seriousness that I have missed Gambino’s smack talk
this season. When his team is
competitive, he brings some of the most useless, yet hilarious, banter. I look forward to next season when I can hear
about which scrubs he’s on that year.
Desperately clinging on to hope of a five way tie for the 6th
playoff spot, but I don’t think it’s meant to be.
Week 11 matchups:
The Stone Masons (6-4) v Dueling Pylons (6-4)
Tequila Party Gnomes (8-2) v First Down Syndrome (2-8)
The King’s Crusaders (5-5) v Animals With Eyepatches (3-7)
Lady Luck (6-4) v Tweeting in the Trenches (5-5)
And the game of the week…
Coach Janky Spanky (6-4) v Stanky Monkeys (3-7)
This is the last chance for the Monkeys to get the job done. And what better way to do that than with a
matchup against EEB. I don’t know if
he’d be able to stomach an L4 of TPG, Pylons, King, Monkeys. We may never hear from him again. I think there is some serious concern and
doubt, especially with the Saints on a bye.
I know Lou wants this game badly, and I think he will do whatever is
necessary. I hope Michael Bush can put
on a similar performance in EEB’s grill.
And with AJ Green and Maclin dealing with injuries, the time is right to
strike. Kicking a man when he is down is
never good sportsmanship, but if it puts EEB and Chris in a battle for a
playoff spot, nothing would make me happier.
Let’s go Monkeys.
If Google decides to delete this blog I am going to
stab. This is the second time I have
written this, and I will not do it again.
I’m ready for week 11.
No comments:
Post a Comment