The EFFL landscape is significantly different than it was just 3 weeks ago. The Pylons were 0-4. The Stone Masons were 4-0. All was right in the world. Since then, the standings in the EFFL have turned upside down. The Pylons are looking stronger and stronger each week. Week 7 marked by far the best performance of the season and a resurgence by last year's #1 fantasy player Arian Foster. Total domination. The only contact from Gambino the entire day was one text message. It read "fuck you". I gotta admit, I was smiling for awhile. The fantasy gods finally got their check in the mail and turned fortune in favor of the classiest organization in the league. I was slandered all day Saturday and told by TPG that the Pylons were a joke, and he did not hate any team more. Fine! Good! Nobody wants in on this right now.
The bye weeks certainly took their toll as TITTY and the Masons each were reeling without their full stable of horses. As usual Woody picks up half his team off the waiver wire and they explode. But the game of the week belonged to the Eyepatches-Monkeys. The Stanky Monkeys are on the ropes folks. Now owners of a 5 game losing streak, victory was snatched from his hands when the Saints put up 62 points on the hapless Colts. John Kasay was the hero for Jimish putting up a remarkable 15 points to give the Eyepatches the victory. His season may have been saved with this performance. The standings are certainly much more close now, which just reminds us how quickly things can change over the course of a season. I'm fired up.
All in all it was a pretty uneventful week around the league. Donkey Kong Suh made fun of an injured Matt Ryan which was cool. On to the coaching moron:
Norv of the week: Mike Munchak
It's blatantly obvious at this point that the man has no clue how to properly use Chris Johnson. I get it. You're a rookie head coach. But 10 carries? Really? This is the 4th time in 6 games this season that Johnson has received 14 or fewer carries. What the hell is the man supposed to do with that few touches. Matt Hasselbeck got cut by the Seahawks! He's washed up and everyone knows it. Hasselbeck averaged 3.5 yards per pass attempt. I just can't for the life of me fathom why you will not give CJ the ball. Johnson came out and said "I'm just doing what they're asking me to do". Get him outside in space. Give him a chance to use his speed. Teams are aware that without the speed Johnson is just an average back, so you need to exploit it. The Titans are going to fade quickly, I guarantee it.
I'm more interested in fantasy football than the real NFL this week. Eagles, Giants, Patriots, Bills all on a bye... it was a nice relaxing Sunday finally.
1. Coach Janky Spanky (6-1) - Last week: 2
We finally have a new team in the top spot of the power rankings and it's well deserved. This team continues to put points on a board at a very high rate. The Lil Breesy-Graham combo has been deadly. I could go without Cris Collinsworth giving everybody Jimmy Graham's well documented life story for 20 minutes which everybody already knew about. Add Forte, Roddy White, Maclin and the emerging AJ Green, and you have the team that deserves to be at the top. I'm sure you'll be ecstatic.
2. The Stone Masons (4-3) - Last week: 1
The Masons were severely hurt by the bye week, which I was afraid of. The loss was enough to drop the Masons out of the top spot, but this team still has tons of potential. It's also not your fault that anyone Chris adds automatically does well. It was refreshing however to see the use of Derrick Mason, which I'm sure got you fired up. The 3 game losing streak is a bit worrisome, but I'm sure there will be an immediate turnaround when back at full strength.
3. Tequila Party Gnomes (5-2) - Last week: 4
Don't look now but the Gnomes are on quite a roll. An earlier loss to the King hampered TPG, but they have rebounded nicely and cruised to victory despite not having Brady. This team dealt with a number of injuries early in the season, but as they get through the byes and get healthy, the Gnomes are definitely legit. At this point looking like the only guy that can catch Janky Spanky for a first round bye. Peterson is a monster.
4. Tweeting In The Trenches (4-3) - Last week: 3
Wow, what a lineup in week 7. Maurice Morris, Kevin Walter, and two Browns. Never really had a shot, which is understandable, but barely fielded a lineup. The entire bulk of the team was on a bye so what we saw is obviously not representative of the true strength of this team. Needs to be careful not to fall into the pack that is pushing at the bottom of the standings to creep into the playoffs. Here's a picture of TITTY attempting to intimidate the Gnomes in week 7:
5. Dueling Pylons (3-4) - Last week: 6
The Pylons are back baby. Foster, Sproles, Dez all dominated and all of this with Vick, VD and Gronkowski on a bye. This team has won 3 straight, put up the high score in week 7, and looks very strong right now. Currently in possession of the #6 seed, this team could creep into the top half of the league soon. It was a huge relief to avoid a league shaming, and to do it in such a big way gave extra satisfaction. Could get back to .500 after an 0-4 star and eventually do the unthinkable of making the playoffs. Pylons highlight of the week was after the Broncos recovered an onside kick, Tim Tebow stopping to praise Jesus, who recovered the fumble for him to get another shot to win it.
6. Lady Luck (6-1) - Last week: 5
After a big start, finally took their first loss of the season at the hands of Janky Spanky. A commendable start which will go a long way towards making the playoffs. I think what we saw this week is more of what this team is really made of. It's a whole different ballgame when your kicker doesn't put up 30 points. I think Lady Luck will be in the playoffs when all is said and done, but I don't think this team really scares anyone at this point. It is what it is. Good luck or bad.
7. The King's Crusaders (3-4) - Last week: 7
Impressive week 7 total helped to beat up on a shorthanded team, but you will not see this kind of performance every week. DeMarco Murray, Fred Davis, the kicker, and defense put up 86 points. Disgusting. I think this team is actually thinner than it appears, and I wouldn't be shocked to see some mediocre weeks ahead. Packers bye week next week certainly won't help, and if the playoffs started today would be on the outside looking in. I'm skeptical at this point.
8. Animals With Eyepatches (2-5) - Last week: 9
Got a much needed win with a bit of luck, but a win is a win. Facing a red hot Pylons team next week may be too tall of a task, but Jimish gave himself the opportunity to play his way back into the mix. Santonio Holmes and Delicious Mendenhall appear to be major busts, which is unfortunate. The loss of Tim Hightower will now hurt even more. The Eyepatches will need to be active on the waiver wire to stay in it.
9. Stanky Monkeys (2-5) - Last week: 8
What an awful, awful way to lose in Week 7. Losing both starting running backs to injury in the first quarter and then losing a WR as well is painful. Having a kicker score 15 to beat you by 3 is even worse. 5 losses in a row, and the Monkeys are in serious danger right now. Without the tiebreaker against the Pylons or King, effectively needs to pass two teams that are two games ahead in the final 6 weeks. With a thinned out roster, things are not looking good. Week 8 is really a must win game. This could be a historic season with the Monkeys and King on the outside looking in. I will say that I know for a fact that Lou is devastated. He's not even using the nasty line this year, just keeps taking the blows on the chin. I'm starting to feel a little bad. But not really.
10. First Down Syndrome (0-7) - Last week: 10
No wins. Lowest scoring team. Blown out by the lowly Pylons. To add insult to injury, Marshawn Lynch was scratched pregame and Pete Carroll didn't think it was necessary to let anybody know. I don't have anything positive to say about this team. There's no hope. Should be out of the playoff picture by week 10 the latest. I'd start trying to sell pieces for keepers. Just not to Woody. He's a schemer. Seriously, don't trade with him. You too Sam.
Week 8 matchups:
Tequila Party Gnomes (5-2) v Coach Janky Spanky (6-1)... great game to look forward to
Dueling Pylons (3-4) v Animals With Eyepatches (2-5)
Tweeting In The Trenches (4-3) v First Down Syndrome (0-7)
Lady Luck (6-1) v The Stone Masons (4-3)
and the game of the week...
The King's Crusaders (3-4) v Stanky Monkeys (2-5)
This is a massive, massive game for both teams. If the Stanky Monkeys do not take this game, they may as well kiss the season goodbye. The hill would be almost impossible to climb and too many teams ahead just won't allow it. Not having tiebreakers is a big problem as well. Meanwhile, the King is desperately trying to get back to .500 and really needs to keep pace with the Pylons for the final spot. Historically, these two teams have the two best winning percentages in the league. They have 4 of the 6 championships between them. But both are at a crossroads and are facing the possibility of not making the playoffs. I expect both teams to pull out all the stops to win this one. If Andre Johnson can get back, it would be a major boost. I'm really looking forward to this one. I like the Monkeys in a close one. It should come down to Monday night.
Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and the games in week 7. I also hope everyone enjoys the new blog layout. It was due for a change.
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