Can you believe this guy's drip? First the sombrero. Now this. Swagga on a hundred thousand trillion. I love Aaron Jones... but I hate Aaron Jones. The guy has ruined so many weeks for so many people. Dropped 44 on Pige. Dropped 40+ multiple times last year. Dating back to Week 2 of last year, Aaron Jones has 27 Touchdowns in 19 games. Maybe he'll get the due he deserves. He's #good
You don't need to hear me complain about the injuries from week 2. They were devastating. What you do need to hear about is a business opportunity. The EFFL is considering a new endeavor based on emerging results in the NFL. This has already been copyrighted by league members, so don't even bother:
Fantasy Player Insurance.
Let's say you draft Will Fuller. You think he may get hurt (he will). There's an extra fee of $40 to insure him for season-ending injury and an extra fee of $60 to insure him for missing 3+ games. If he gets injured, you get to file an insurance claim with the league. This claim will pay out 2x the premium. If he does not get injured, you collect nothing. Any overage on insurance premiums versus payouts gets donated to the league pot.
The league would publish insurance rates at the start of the season and perhaps at different points in the season. This would add a fascinating dynamic to the league. Do you draft injury-prone players higher with the intent to insure them? It also would make injuries hurt a little bit less.
What else happened in Week 2? We've witnessed the demise of a number of former heroes. Julio Jones - we bid ye farewell. Emmanuel Sanders - enjoy retirement. Rob Gronkowski - please come to our draft next year. Drew Brees - open a restaurant on Bourbon and lace em up. Kirk Cousins - seen his last EFFL title.
And yes, the Pylons miraculously pulled off a 1 point victory* (pending stat changes). I had to not watch. I had to do it. I woke up and fist pumped like crazy.
Beef of the Week: Atlanta Falcons
Bet nobody saw this coming. It was a collapse of epic proportions. Matty Ice was absolutely slinging it. Cowboys couldn't stop turning the ball over. 3 lost fumbles. It was all going wrong.
I don't know what the turning point was but poor TPG was ravaged by Philly Peppers. Dak insisted on 3 rushing TDs. Had to happen. Prior to Sunday, only 10 times in NFL history has a QB thrown for 350 and scored 2 rushing TDs. Dak went for 450 and 3. Nobody has ever had 450 and 2 before.
And of course the onside kick. How can you not know the rules. The ball is sitting there and all you have to do is cover it. It's the hands team for cryin out loud. Game should've been long over. And of course it's Jerry Jones in Jerry World going nuts. There's no combination of team / owner / situation that could've been worse than what transpired on Sunday. If you hate the Cowboys and you hate the Patriots, it's mandatory you now hate the Falcons. They're responsible for everything bad that has happened.
Power Rankings
We now have a bit more information. Not a ton of change, however. I think I did a decent job in Week 1. Let's take another look.
14. Geno 911 (0-2) - Last week: 12
I don't think this is surprising. There was real fear the team wouldn't crack 40. Hitching the wagon to Brady/Gronk may have been a mistake. I questioned the age of this team, Perhaps a deal with the Pylons will generate a spark. Todd Gurley does not look good.
13. Stanky Monkeys (0-2) - Last week: 10
Just too many Eagles this year. Butker may be the best player on the roster. This team has some decent alternatives. John Brown and Jerry Jeudy should be in the lineup almost immediately. I do think better days are ahead for this team.
12. Dueling Pylons (1-1) - Last week: 14
Escaped with a lucky victory over Stanky Monkeys. This team still has a ways to go. Maybe this win will be a turning point. Kelce has been as advertised, but Lamar Jackson sits 10th among QBs. That's going to have to improve tremendously for this team to contend.
11. Bo$$town Cutter (1-1) - Last week: 13
Must've felt good to defeat Dosh yet again. I'm sure he was praying all Monday night that he'd hold on. And you left it late. Your RBs finally came through. Jacobs/Chubb/Conner is going to have to stay consistent for you. But if week 2 is any indication, you'll be OK. KJ Hamler could be clutch.
10. The Old Ball Sack (1-1) - Last week: 11
Got pounded by EEB. That was funny. Unfortunately lost Sutton for the season, which is a huge blow. Drew Brees looks horrible. I think this ranking could be a bit generous, to be honest. I'm concerned about this team's bench and ability to deal with the loss.
9. Tequila Party Gnomes (0-2) - Last week: 8
After coming just short v Pige, got absolutely obliterated by Philly Peppers. Was devastated that things turned south that quickly. The McCaffrey blow hurts. And Mostert went down too, which is rough. If only there was a running back on the bench out of Naples, Italy to fill the void...
8. Street Pigeons (1-1) - Last week: 5
This is mostly a result of the Saquon injury. That hurts. But Russell Wilson has been the MVP thus far. And you've got some decent players. Going to need to play the waiver wire closely. Grab some rookies and hope for playing time.
7. The King's Crusaders (1-1) - Last week: 6
Seems a bit unfair to dock you after a big win, but you started Scotty Miller. I refuse to believe Tyler Higbee is a thing. I like your bench, though. I think you may run into a bit of an issue with lineup decisions, but I don't see any reason this team shouldn't be competitive.
6. Ouch! My Hamstringy! (2-0) - Last week: 7
If Josh Allen and Kamara put up 70 a week, I think you're probably the best team. I still think you have too many Giants. And you should be docked for using Christian Kirk. This is one of those interesting situations where you're likely to be very inconsistent. But 2-0 is a great start. Can't complain about that.
5. Team BG (1-1) - Last week: 2
I honestly think any of the top 5 could be in any order. At full strength, this might be the best team in the league. Still think you need a running back, but there's some serious talent on this team. Calvin Ridley is the #1 WR, and he doesn't look to be slowing any time soon.
4. Philly Peppers (2-0) - Last week: 9
Was certainly too low last week. What did Matt actually do to you? 188 points in Week 2 is awful impressive. Even your kicker dropped 13 on him. And that's without Kenny Golladay. You have to be feeling good about where you sit right now. And who can blame you. David Montgomery still stinks.
3. Cash Me Out Wide (1-1) - Last week: 1
Despite a down week, I'm still optimistic. I think you have the best WR corps in the league with Nuk, ARob, Odell, and now CeeDee. Hubris at the QB and WR positions could be problematic. You're going to be debating those positions every week.
2. Pork Chop Express (2-0) - Last week: 4
Getting more out of the WR position than I think you expected to. If that keeps up, this is a contending team. I don't know about James Robinson, but JT is going to be big. Only real concern here is the bug. I'm not a fan of the bench depth at all.
1. Tweeting in the Trenches (1-1) - Last week: 3
This is more about what this team could do. Started a QB that didn't even play and still won. Adams got banged up. Kittle is still banged up. I just think right now, at full strength, this is the team to beat. Aaron Jones, Adams, Kittle, Ekeler is the best big 4 in the league. Let's see what happens.
*** GAME OF THE WEEK ***
Week 3 is big for a lot of teams. The Old Ball Sack v The King's Crusaders sticks out to me. Two teams you expect to see at the top are both 1-1 and could really use a win.
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