We have our field of 7 teams. It went as predicted, but it
wasn’t until late Sunday night that 3-time defending chump Chris Cusco punched
his ticket to the EFFL playoffs. Tatz made a push, and Dosh never threatened,
but this is still a disappointing result. Cusco was led to victory by Russell
Wilson.
While he refuses to give the D to Ciara, he had no problem repeatedly
inserting into an unsuspecting BG. This D was also given to me, as I was
knocked out as a result. I don’t know what this says about the guy.
Before we get into some of the previews, I’d like to direct
your attention, yet again, to #BillsMafia. They’ve completely outdone
themselves this week, and not coincidentally, the team did work on the field.
I’ll just direct your attention to this link here, which recaps the complete
debauchery that took place in the Ralph Wilson parking lot.
There’s a woman dropping trou in a urinal, Santa Claus being
choke slammed, and I couldn’t tell from the brief video, but that looked like
Kyle Orton working over Sammy Watkins pretty good. Just remarkable. Best
comment in regards to the video I’ve seen: “You can tell he’s a Bills fan by
how comfortable he is working from behind.”
I’m giving a lot of thought to moving my Bachelor Party to
Buffalo. I know it seems ridiculous, but nothing says enjoy marriage better
than having one of your boys suplex you through a table.
Beef of the Week: Tom
Coughlin
I feel like this clown has been in this spot before, but
he’s fully deserving yet again after blowing a “home” game against the Jets.
Honestly, being in a bar in NYC during Jets-Giants is the absolute worst. Both
fan bases are so delusional, and literally nobody outside of NY cares about the
game AT ALL.
But here was Coughlin, up 10 in the fourth quarter, facing a
4th and 2 from the Jets 8 yard line. And this clown goes for it! How
do you do that?!?!? The drive took 11
minutes and they got nothing out of it. The Giants could have gone up 2 TDs
on the Jets, but Coughlin instead decided to go for it and fail. Of course he’s
then shown with the same dumb look on his face he always has. It’s the “I
obviously made the right call, why didn’t that work?” look. Just utter
confusion. Time to pack it in old man. The Jets went on to win in Overtime,
after lackluster kicker Josh Brown missed a field goal to extend the game.
Coaching stupidity of this level should not be tolerated.
Not only was the wrong call made, he insisted after the game that it was the
right call. That’s the problem. Failing to admit your mistakes is one of the
worst things you can do as a person. I hate the Giants, but at this point, I’m
glad they have a clueless guy at the helm. It can only help other teams.
So here are our Playoff matchups. Please be aware that if you are eliminated from the playoffs,
you cannot make further roster moves. Just
don’t try it.
#1 The Old Ball Sack
– Mike Young will be chilling during Week 14 while the rest of the league
fights it out. He cannot play Lou or Phil. He will play the lowest remaining
seed. Just have to hope that nobody gets injured.
#2 Stanky Monkeys v.
#7 A Lot O’Tatz – EEB lost and Fusco won. Fusco also finished with more
points, so EEB falls to 7th to take on Lou. Neither team can be all
that enthused about their Week 13 performance. Particularly EEB, who lost to
nemesis Woody and fell two spots. If EEB wins, he gets Mike Y, which is surely
enticing. If Lou wins, he’ll play the next highest remaining seed. At this
point, I’m not all that confident in A Lot O’Tatz. The team has reached 125
points just once this season. I think this is going to be a close one, given
each team’s stature right now, but I think with Forte back, I’m leaning Stanky
Monkeys in a nail biter.
Commish’s Pick: Stanky
Monkeys
#3 Cecil Had It
Coming v. #6 Tweeting in the Trenches – This is a big ask for a first
timer. Take down the 3-time defending champ to extend your season. And the team
that comes in at #6 has been the much hotter team of late. TITTY has piled up
284 points in the past two weeks. Cecil did finally turn it around in Week 13,
so perhaps he’s turned a corner. This is going to be a very interesting one.
These teams met just two weeks ago with dominant performances from Russell
Wilson yet again. I’m a little skeptical here, and I’m obviously rooting for
Phil. This is a tough one to call.
Commish’s Pick: Cecil
Had It Coming
#4 Pork Chop Express
v. #5 The King’s Crusaders – The playoffs this year leave very few
“palatable” teams. Aka, I want both of these teams to lose. Woody went 8 weeks
straight without scoring more than 112 points, but he’s in the playoffs on the
heels of a 4 game winning streak. I’m glad we finally saw something from Pork
Chop Express this week. He’s been coasting for a while after starting 5-2. But
the Running Backs are REALLY struggling. DeMarcus Murray has been relegated.
Jameer Abdullah can’t get on the field. And Danny “White Guy” Woodhead has been
pretty bad for the past couple of weeks. I don’t think either team really has a
huge advantage, but it will be interesting to see how the trade of Palmer/Tron
for Rodgers/Kelce comes into play here. According to a trade proposal, Lobitz
quipped: “Rodgers and Kelce for Palmer and Calvin. I know you will say no and
it makes me happy cuz I really don’t want to do it anyway”.
Commish’s Pick: The
King’s Crusaders
So that’s my final four. Mike Y, Lou, Phil, Woody. You take
your pick who you want to win, but if that happens, it’s a guarantee that one
of Mike Y and Woody is in the final. That would be terrible.
Good luck to the 7 still in contention. Remember, the winner
gets to determine in what city the 2016 EFFL Draft is held. Buffalo is an
option.
No comments:
Post a Comment