We are down to the final two weeks of the season, and
exactly one team has clinched. But a
couple others took big steps in week 11 to ensure their spot in the
festivities. Fortunes have changed
vastly over the past month. Fusco has
lost 4 of 5. EEB has lost 4
straight. Over the past 4 weeks, Nick
has won more games than these two combined.
The Stanky Monkeys are actually looking relevant, but it may be a little
bit too late. And the King escaped again
with another victory, putting him in a great position with only 2 weeks left.
If the playoffs started today, it would be King v Janky
Spanky in round 1, which would probably be the greatest thing ever. I gotta hand it to Chris. He’s come up with the best quotes this year
by far, and I’m more than happy to share them with you in the blog. It’s not me ripping you this week EEB
(yet). In discussing the blog, I
commented to Chris that I could not begin because the Monday night games had
not yet been settled. He responded “you
could recap the team with the best RB depth to WR awfulness ratio in league
history”. A clear shot at Janky Spanky
after numerous futile attempts to pry away Maurice Jones-Drew.
A couple housekeeping items before we move forward. The trade deadline is TOMORROW, Wednesday November 23rd. Although ESPN lists 12 PM as the cutoff, I
will give you until midnight tomorrow night.
If a deal or child is consummated in that time, I will make the manual
adjustment on the website. Also, as per
league rules, any player added after week 12 (this week) cannot be kept next
year. You may still add players this
week up until 1 PM Sunday, but just be aware that any player in a thanksgiving
game will be locked on your roster after those games play, whether you use them
or not.
Norv of the Week: Rex Ryan
I know many of you were looking for Mr. Brooking in this
spot again, but this is an award for coaching ineptitude, not just flat out
having a bad team. First Rexy told a
Patriots fan to “shut the fuck up” on camera.
He was subsequently fined $75,000.
While I agree that’s how Patriots fans should be treated, you have to
expect this would get back to Lord Goodell.
Just makes no sense whatsoever.
Then came the underestimation of this man:
Rex’s team is known for their cockiness. Some players misidentify this as swagger
because they believe their team is actually good. This is incorrect. Revis
Island
As previously indicated, the blog will no longer show power
rankings. Only the playoff
standings. For some of you (EEB, Sam) this
helps you. As you’ll see below, it’s
pretty much all about the TITTY. Here is
where we stand:
* 1. Tequila Party Gnomes (9-2)
After a 7th straight victory, the Gnomes’ 9 wins
are already a franchise record. Moved
even closer to locking up the Gnomes first ever bye. This team will either be the #1 seed or the
#3 seed. Only the Pylons stand in the
Gnomes way at this point. A win/tie this
week or a Pylons loss/tie will lock up the #1 spot for TPG. A loss and Pylons win in week 12 means the
Pylons and Gnomes week 13 contest will be for a first round bye. When I reached out to the Gnomes for thoughts
on this tremendous accomplishment, he told me the most important thing was
avoiding embarrassment on the blog due to a loss to Gambino. The man has his priorities in order.
2. Lady Luck (7-4)
This is gross.
Despite being 6th in points scored and averaging only 92
points scored over the past 5 weeks, this team finally snapped a losing streak
over equally hapless TITTY. Now owning
the tiebreaker over Fusco, as well as him being severely behind in points
scored, this team is a virtual lock to make the playoffs. Even moreso, a first round bye is a definite
possibility. Sam is in a very similar
position to the Gnomes, but not as good.
A win and BG loss this week locks up a bye. Any other result means the week 13 matchup
between Lady Luck and The Stone Masons will be for a first round bye. Can lock up a playoff spot through a number
of scenarios, the easiest being win and in.
3. Dueling Pylons (7-4)
Although the Pylons have matched the Gnomes stride for
stride, I’d find it a little difficult to argue that there is a team playing
better than the Pylons right now. This
team has clowned opponents in the past 5 weeks, recording the league high score
3 times, and the 2nd high score another. The Pylons are on the brink of clinching a
spot, but do not own the tiebreaker over TITTY.
Barring a scenario where they are in a head to head tiebreak for the
final spot, the Pylons will be in. Huge
matchup this week against the King is a real statement game. It would be difficult to imagine a team
having a 7 game winning streak at any point in the season and missing the
playoffs, but it’s still a possibility.
Win/tie or Fusco loss/tie will have the Pylons in for sure. I'm back on board with white people...
4. Coach Janky Spanky (6-5)
Here’s where our 3 way tiebreak scenario comes into
play. Because none of the 3 teams tied
owns a tiebreaker over both of the other two, we then move to points scored. Despite EEB not showing up for the past 4
weeks, he still wins out here. Both of
the other two teams are not very far behind, so if this team does not perform
in the final two weeks and the standings stay the same, this team could drop. Now owner of the longest losing streak in
this league, Janky Spanky may crumble if they suffer another defeat at the
hands of the Gnomes. A win and TITTY
loss will have Janky Spanky dancing, but if they cannot get it done this week,
Week 13 will be very, very interesting.
5. The King’s Crusaders (6-5)
After EEB occupied spot number 4, King and the Masons go
back to a head to head tiebreaker, which the King owns. This team was 3-5 and on the brink just a
couple weeks ago. Where 2 men and 1 woman
have previously failed, the Pylons will attempt to go in week 12. In pretty much the exact same boat as Janky
Spanky. Win and TITTY loss locks up a
playoff spot. Any other result means
this team’s fate will be sealed in Week 13.
Faces arguably the two hottest teams in the final two weeks, so it will
not be easy. I can’t wait for some sort
of explosion this week from a random player.
He’ll probably use Greg Little and have him score 3 TDs after not having
one all season. I’m still bitter about
that Vincent Jackson Thursday night game last year. I haven’t forgot.
6. The Stone Masons (6-5)
After being at the top of the power rankings for the entire
year, the Masons suddenly find themselves in a little bit of trouble here. The good news is that they hold a 100 point
advantage over TITTY in points scored despite not having the head to head
tiebreaker. Ending up in a 3 way tie may
actually benefit this team. This team finishes
with probably the best schedule you can hope for at this point. Also owns head to head tiebreaker over Janky
Spanky. Win two and you’re in. Win and TITTY loss also locks up a spot for
this team. I can’t see a team with this
much talent not making it.
7. Tweeting in the Trenches (5-6)
What happened?!?!?
This team started off 4-2, and since then has just totally gone in the
tank. Huge game in week 12 will pretty
much define this team’s season. A loss
to the Stanky Monkeys will drop this team to 8th, and basically put
this team in a massive hole. There is
even the possibility of elimination. Has
tiebreaker over Masons and Pylons, but with a loss this week that probably will
not matter. Lost to Lou 158-135 in week
12 last year, which basically knocked this team out of the playoffs. A repeat performance would be devastating.
8. Stanky Monkeys (4-7)
This team is not out of it yet, and believe it or not has a
straight path to a playoff berth. First
of all, the Monkeys stayed alive with a drubbing of an EEB team in a
tailspin. This team MUST win its final 2
games to have a shot. Secondly, this
team probably will not be able to pass either the Masons or Janky Spanky under
any scenario. They’re too far back in
points and don’t own head to head over either.
This leaves only one team for the Monkeys to pass… The King’s Crusaders.
This team needs to end up in some sort of tiebreak scenario
with the King to have a shot. In
reality, this is not all that farfetched.
Odds are the Masons are going to win at least one of their last two
games versus Sam and Jimish. EEB gets
Gambino in week 13, which any real playoff team should be able to handle. So, if the Pylons beat the King this week and
the Monkeys can defeat TITTY, we could be looking at a play-in game between the
Monkeys and King in week 13. Under that
scenario, what Fusco does in week 13 will be irrelevant because Lou would own
the tiebreaker over both. I will
certainly try my best to make sure this happens.
x 9. Animals With Eyepatches (3-8)
When Dwayne Bowe could not mount the comeback in week 11, it
sealed the Eyepatches fate for the 2011 season.
It was a disappointing end to a promising season filled with
underachievement. I really thought
leaving the draft you had a pretty impressive squad, and I know some people
were peeved when you took players they wanted.
Greg Jennings injuring himself at a crucial time was just the tip of the
iceberg. At least you beat up on Nick
and Sam, which is some consolation. Can
certainly play the role of spoiler down the stretch.
x 10. First Down Syndrome (2-9)
Came so close to pulling out a win over a streaking TPG, but
as usual this team failed to put up a big week.
This team has only reached the 120 point barrier 11 times over the past
4 seasons. This is a new low in
uselessness. This team’s picks, in order
were: Shonn Greene, Lee Evans, Plaxico Burress, Braylon Edwards, Packers D, Jay
Cutler, Marshawn Lynch, Mike Sims-Walker, Ronnie Brown, Chris Cooley, Matt
Bryant, LaDainian Tomlinson. This is
like a list of players that nobody in their right mind would want. This season was doomed before it began. The one silver lining is that Anquan Boldin is
a potential keeper, which already puts you ahead of last year. Beat EEB in week 13… Please. I need him to suffer more.
That’s all for now, and I am thoroughly looking forward to
week 12. There are some huge games
across the board. I hope you all enjoy
your Thanksgiving and look forward to any further banter.
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