The 2009 Season Is Underway

The EFFL is back:

Well we finally have one week in the books and the long anticipated start to the 2009 fantasy season is behind us. Both new league members were taken care of by their opponents. This is no clown league… except for The Ari Golds. In one week Sam has matched her entire win total from last season. Sadly you do not play Nick again, and that will be the last time you ever win with 90 points. Both teams that missed the playoffs last year started off on the right foot this season with week 1 wins. Before we get to the week 2 preview, here is a rundown of how things shaped up in week 1.

Tequila Party Gnomes 142 – Animals With Eyepatches 125:

In the biggest EFFL rivalry, this game lived up to expectations. Combining for over 260 points, the Gnomes and Eyepatches traded shots back and forth until the Eyepatches could take no more. Passing up perennial favorite Megatron, Matt was in shambles when the Eyepatches selected Tron at #7 overall despite being absent from the draft. The trash talking began via email prior to the draft so the hype was there for this game. Drew Brees threw for 6 TDs. Adrian Peterson ran for 180 yards and 3 TDs. Jimish even looked smart for keeping Kevin Smith over Roddy White this week. But 125 points just wasn’t enough and the Gnomes moved to 1-0. Ironically the Eyepatches lost to the Gnomes in last year’s playoffs by also putting up 125 points.

Kiss Da Baby 90 – The Ari Golds 70:

Projected to be the worst game of week 1, this game also lived up to expectations. Immediately after the loss, the Ari Golds were found to be in shambles, trying to salvage what is already a lost 2009 season. Trying to pony up scrubs like Ronnie Brown and Bernard Berrian for superstud Steven Jackson is not the way to go about things. Laveraneus Coles is now a Bengal, yet for the 4^th season in a row the Golds believe he will somehow be helpful. Even more amazing in this contest is that every week 1 surprise performance in the NFL was found on Kiss Da Baby’s bench. At least you didn’t use Jake Delhomme’s -7 points Nick. You would’ve finished with a total of 49 points. Taking Kurt Warner in round 3 could prove to be disastrous. Sam meanwhile had a decent week but will need to see more consistency from her players.

Stanky Monkeys 128 – Dueling Pylons 83:

As soon as Santonio Holmes erupted from the Pylons bench and I received text messages from 3 people about a kicker, this game was in the bag. Monkeys were consistent across the board and the Pylons were the exact opposite. For some reason the Pylons just do not bring their A game against Lou. This is now 6 straight wins for Stanky in the series, including a victory in the 08 semifinals. Over these 6 games the Monkeys are averaging 126 points scored. This game snapped a streak of 15 straight 100+ point efforts from the Pylons, the longest in league history. Also lost in the defeat was franchise QB Donovan McNabb, leaving the Pylons with 0 healthy QBs on the roster. In the meantime I think this is still one of the Monkeys worst teams ever and he will no doubt be looking to make a deal for Peyton Manning before long.

The Jackson Five 129 – Tweeting In The Trenches 96:

Despite another year of having no Jacksons on the roster, the Five must be ecstatic after this week 1 performance. No doubt also the Five were hoping instead of Jeff Garcia the Eagles would’ve made a move for Tarvaris Jackson who would’ve immediately been added. Receiving virtually nothing in week 1 from top RBs Forte and Turner, the Five still managed to put together an impressive performance on the shoulders of Randy Moss and Tony Homo. Meanwhile, TITT did not live up to post draft expectations. I was notified by the Gnomes that after the draft the Five were picked to be the worst team and Tweeting was picked to be the top team. The Fantasy Gods have already struck. The consensus about the Fusco squad was also that it was not a deep team and if the starters struggled they could be in trouble. This is exactly what happened in Week 1. The 129 points are BG’s highest point total since 2007, and all of a sudden this is looking like a dangerous team with his Cowboys combo.

The King’s Crusaders 130 – Coach Janky Spanky 118:

A valiant effort in EEB’s EFFL debut, but the King is always a tough squad to overcome. With both teams having multiple players Monday night, I was told by Chris that he was nervous about his 90 point lead. Slowly Janky Spanky began to creep back into the game. I received an IM that said “Take that ‘EEB’”. There is definite bad blood between these two teams and no doubt if they knew each other better the trash talking would be at abnormal levels. I’ve already been notified by the King that his wide receivers will produce this insane amount of points every week so look out league. Janky Spanky’s special teams really let him down and were the major difference in this game.

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I’m really enjoying the 10 team format. I think the games are much more competitive and every game is much more meaningful. Week 2 marks the first of 2 weeks (the other being week 11) in which all 5 games are out of division matchups. I think this can also be classified as a definite rivalry week as well. There are some great games and these can go a long way towards tiebreakers for the wild card spots. Here is how the games will shape up this Sunday:

The Jackson Five (1-0) vs. The King’s Crusaders (1-0):

Both of these teams are coming off monster Week 1 performances. This also marks the first time ever in 5 years of the EFFL that Brandon has not lost in Week 1. It’s gotta be a good feeling to start on the right foot. These teams have played close games with 2 of the last 3 being decided by 12 points or less. This game will not be decided until late with the Cowboys and Colts both involved in late affairs. I think the Jackson Five has put together a nice squad, and I think the Turner-Forte combo shows more life this week and J5 take this one.

Kiss Da Baby (1-0) vs. Animals With Eyepatches (0-1):

Had these two teams played last week, Jimish would’ve started the season with a win and Sam with a loss. These teams do not have much history as yet again they find themselves in different divisions. This will be only the 6^th time in 5 seasons that they face off, and odds are Sam will not be making the playoffs again this year. They are not likely to meet again in 2009. The Eyepatches have an intimidating squad and could really use a W here. Kiss Da Baby has some tough matchups this week so I like the Eyepatches to even their record at 1-1.

Tequila Party Gnomes (1-0) vs. Tweeting In The Trenches (0-1):

You want some bulletin board material? Trenches owner and proprietor Chris Fusco told the press this week: “If Braylon can fucking catch the ball in bounds I promise a W”. Rookie mistake. Not only are you giving the opponent something to get on you about, you are putting your faith in a Cleveland Brown. Oh, I forgot to mention that Adrian Peterson is playing the Lions. I think that Tweeting is way overmatched in this one. Plus a Monday night Manning and Dallas Clark could make things very difficult. I believe that TITT has more consistency across the board, but I think the Peterson-Manning combo will be too much to overcome. I like the Gnomes in this one.

The Ari Golds (0-1) vs. Stanky Monkeys (1-0):

This is probably the most despised matchup amongst outsiders in the EFFL. Nobody wants to see either of these teams win. These clowns have won 3 of the 4 EFFL championships yet still deserve no respect. If this were an NFL game on TV, it would be the one you flip off because it’s that difficult to watch. Matt Ryan v. Kurt Warner. Ronnie Brown v. Ryan Grant. Lee Evans v. Hines Ward!!!!!!!!! This is a total trainwreck and I’m embarrassed I had to put this game on the schedule. Monkeys win I guess? The Ari Golds may top 70 points this week but I can’t be too sure.

***** Game of the Week *****

Dueling Pylons (0-1) vs. Coach Janky Spanky (0-1):

Although this is the only matchup featuring two winless teams, there is a lot of bad blood here. Both teams do not want to fall into an 0-2 hole. This game, however, is game of the week for an entirely different reason. This game marks the long awaited return of Rams Drinking Game. With McNabb and Cassel both injured, the Pylons were desperate for a quarterback option. What better add than Marc Bulger against Janky Spanky’s beloved Redskins. Already with Steven Jackson and Donnie Avery on the roster, Bulger seemed like a natural fit on the Pylons. In addition, the poor performance of Rob Bironas and Patriots defense necessitated a change. Rams defense and Josh Brown were quickly added. A 9.5 point underdog, and a team that is projected to score 13.5 points by Vegas, the Pylons have put 5 starters in their lineup against Janky Spanky and the Skins. And I am guaranteeing victory. If you’ll recall last season the Rams defeated the Redskins in Washington, one of only two victories all season. I am fully confident that the 28-0 beatdown at the hands of the Seahawks last week was a fluke. If Janky Spanky does not win this game, he will be an easy target for the rest of the league all season. I’m not concerned in the least.

Well there’s your week 1 review and week 2 preview. It was a fun start and I’m expecting another interesting week. Hopefully we have some close games that come down to the wire.